Movie News and Reviews

Reviewed: Paycheck by Derek McCaw (12-29-03)
Bringing new meaning to the phrase "single bullet theory..."

Reviewed: Peter Pan by Derek McCaw (12-24-03)
I do believe in faeries. But don't let it get around, okay?

Reviewed: The House of Sand and Fog by Chris Garcia (12-24-03)
Jennifer Connelly. For some of us, those words alone are enough to conjure magic.

A Long Time Ago On A Late Night Far, Far Away... by Michael Goodson (12-22-03)
Why fanboys, boring day jobs, and e-mail just don't mix...

Reviewed: The Return of the King by Derek McCaw (12-17-03)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left Minas Tirith...

Reviewed: Something's Gotta Give by Marin Carpenter (12-12-03)
It's the movie your mom wishes Hollywood made more of...

Reviewed: Stuck On You by Derek McCaw (12-12-03)
Sure, it may be the greatest conjoined twins movie ever, but what's that really saying?

New Visitors To Gotham City by Derek McCaw (12-11-03)
Casting rumors fly over Batman: Intimidation Game. If only half are true, they're STILL cool...

Reviewed: The Last Samurai by Derek McCaw (12-05-03)
We get it, we get it -- Tom Cruise learned how to wield a sword... ooooohhh...

Reviewed: The Haunted Mansion by Derek McCaw (11-26-03)
Could someone please explain those singing busts?

Reviewed: Timeline by Derek McCaw (11-26-03)
You know, what this movie needs is a horrible creature disguised as a bunny...

Reviewed: The Missing by Derek McCaw (11-26-03)
Tommy Lee Jones returns to his lost family, with a history that just won't go away...

Reviewed: Gothika by Marin Carpenter (11-21-03)
Murder, supernatural intrigue, and Robert Downey, Jr. all give Halle Berry the creeps...

Reviewed: Looney Tunes: Back In Action by Derek McCaw (11-14-03)
If monkeys are funny, blue monkey diamonds must be really funny, right? Right?

Reviewed: Master and Commander by Derek McCaw (11-14-03)
Hey, a stirring tale of heroism with English accents and -gasp- actual ideas!

Reviewed: Elf by Marin Carpenter (11-07-03)
You better not pout, we're telling you why...Elf really isn't that bad...

From Scorpion King To King of Atlantis? by Derek McCaw (11-05-03)
The Rock as Namor? Fanboy Planet has the rundown...be cool...

Reviewed: The Matrix Revolutions by Derek McCaw (11-05-03)
Wait a minute...Neo...The One...ohhhh, NOW I get it...

Here Comes The Spider-Man...Again... by Derek McCaw (10-31-03)
Sony has released a new poster for Spider-Man 2...

Reviewed: Brother Bear by Derek McCaw (10-31-03)
Ooooh...look how cute and cuddly...OH GAW -- AAAGGHHHHH! (crunch crunch crunch)

Burn At The Man-Thing's Touch by Derek McCaw (10-24-03)
Go ahead...giggle now. Man-Thing. Tee Hee. Now slather yourself in bbq sauce...

Reviewed: Scary Movie 3 by Derek McCaw (10-24-03)
They're already planning Scary Movie 4. Resistance must be futile...

Reviewed: Radio by Marin Carpenter (10-24-03)
"Ya see, we weren't teaching Radio, he was teaching us...hey, is anybody else bored?"

Reviewed: Runaway Jury by Derek McCaw (10-17-03)
Hackman. Hoffman. Men's Room. Now.

Reviewed: Returner by Mish'al Samman (10-17-03)
Yakuza, refugees from the future, mechwarriors and aliens. We smell cult film...

Reviewed: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre by Derek McCaw (10-17-03)
Scariest part? That creepy little kid from The Ring is in this one...

The Punisher Again by Derek McCaw (10-16-03)
A face-forward shot of Thomas Jane -- with that skull looking cooler...

Reviewed: Kill Bill, volume 1 by Michael Goodson (10-10-03)
Steeped in both gore and major babeage. Goodson may have found his perfect film.

Reviewed: Bubba Ho-Tep by Derek McCaw (10-09-03)
Bruce Campbell stars as Elvis, taking down evil from Ancient Egypt...

The Political Curse of the Predator by Derek McCaw (10-09-03)
See the real consequences of the California Recall election...

Reviewed: School of Rock by Marin Carpenter (10-03-03)
There's not a moment you can't predict, and yet, yep, this movie STILL rocks!

Like Unleashing A Panther... by Derek McCaw (09-29-03)
Want to see Halle Berry in her Catwoman costume?

Reviewed: The Rundown by Derek McCaw (09-26-03)
The Rock takes the crown of action movie king...

Reviewed: The Animation Show by Chris Garcia (09-22-03)
A festival designed to warp your children's minds...by all means, GO!

Reviewed: Underworld by Marin Carpenter (09-19-03)
Let's face it. For some of you, Kate Beckinsale strutting around in black latex will be enough...

Reviewed: Cold Creek Manor by Derek McCaw (09-19-03)
One of those rare thrillers where you want everybody to die...

Reviewed: Matchstick Men by Derek McCaw (09-12-03)
Even a con artist father can get suckered in by his kid...

Reviewed: So Close by Jordan Rosa (09-12-03)
Call it the Hong Kong Charlie's Angels if you want -- but it sounds like a better movie to me...

Reviewed: Once Upon A Time In Mexico by Derek McCaw (09-12-03)
Johnny Depp and Antonio Banderas together -- this may be the ultimate date film...

Reviewed: Cabin Fever by Jordan Rosa (09-12-03)
Explore the chilly pleasures of necrotizing flesh...

The New Resident of the Batcave! by Derek McCaw (09-11-03)
Bat-fans exhale! Warner Brothers cast the right guy for the cowl!

Reviewed: Party Monster by Jordan Rosa (09-05-03)
Macauley Calkin in drag -- what a drag.

Reviewed: Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star by Derek McCaw (09-05-03)
David Spade is a great mean comedian. So why does he keep asking for our pity?

Whedon Relaunches The Serenity! by Derek McCaw (09-04-03)
He hinted at ComicCon -- and now it can be told! Get ready for Firefly The Motion Picture!

Reviewed: Jeepers Creepers 2 by Jordan Rosa (08-30-03)
Why bother explaining yourself when you can just kill, kill, kill?

Reviewed: The Medallion by Derek McCaw (08-22-03)
There can only be one...and even that is too many...

Reviewed: American Splendor by Derek McCaw (08-19-03)
This year, you can say that the best film of the year is based on a comic book.

Reviewed: Grind by Jordan Rosa (08-15-03)
This movie totally ankle bites.

Reviewed: Freddy vs. Jason by Derek McCaw (08-15-03)
My monster could totally beat up your monster...

Reviewed: S.W.A.T. by Derek McCaw (08-08-03)
Great action, great acting, but...must they speak?

Reviewed: American Wedding by Derek McCaw (08-01-03)
The key to a hot social life? Adding "-meister" to your last name...

Reviewed: Gigli by Jordan Rosa (08-01-03)
If Jordan took my life after I made him sit through this, even I would call it justice.

Reviewed: Spy Kids 3-D by Jordan Rosa (07-31-03)
It's taken Jordan a week to get the bad taste out of his mouth...

Reviewed: Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life by Derek McCaw (07-25-03)
We'll say this for Angelina Jolie -- she's got really nice polygons.

Reviewed: Garage Days by Jordan Rosa (07-19-03)
Ready for VH1's "Movies That Rock!"

Reviewed: Bad Boys II by Jordan Rosa (07-18-03)
Admit it -- you were on the edge of your seat waiting for this one, weren't you?

Reviewed: Johnny English by Derek McCaw (07-18-03)
The English loved it. We didn't.

Mail Call (07-14-03)
Are our movie reviews all screwed up? Wait a minute...I hated 2Fast2Furious...

Reviewed: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen by Derek McCaw (07-11-03)
The Fantom's greatest crime against humanity? Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals...

Reviewed: Pirates of the Caribbean by Derek McCaw (07-08-03)
When do we get to the part where they chase the wenches around?

Reviewed: Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas by Jordan Rosa (07-02-03)
2D Animation isn't dead, but Dreamworks is doing its best to kill it...

Reviewed: T3: Rise of the Machines by Derek McCaw (07-01-03)
Let's conjugate: I'll be back, you'll be back, she'll be back, we'll be back, baby's got back...

Reviewed: 28 Days Later by Derek McCaw (06-30-03)
Because you just know it's going to be a virus passed from monkey to man...

Reviewed: Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle by Derek McCaw (06-27-03)
Chicks! Sex jokes! And more chicks! Please pass the popcorn...

Reviewed: Hulk by Derek McCaw (06-20-03)
An emotionally repressed movie about an emotionally repressed guy? RRAAAARRGGGHHH!!

Reviewed: Rugrats Go Wild by Derek McCaw (06-13-03)
The odor of Phil's feet haunts me in my dreams...

Reviewed: Hollywood Homicide by Derek McCaw (06-13-03)
Start casting the TV version now...

Sequel2Sequelmania by Jordan Rosa (06-10-03)
"Years from now, few will remember that this is the one in which OSS Junior agents were issued their trademark hockey masks and didn't have them all along."

Reviewed: The Eye by Jordan Rosa (06-09-03)
"I see dead people" doesn't mean much when you've never seen anything before...

Sequelmania 2003! by Jordan Rosa (06-06-03)
Jordan Rosa is a certified Psychohistory of Film Major...

Reviewed: 2Fast 2Furious by Derek McCaw (06-06-03)
For those who find The Dukes of Hazzard intellectually challenging...

Reviewed: Wrong Turn by Jordan Rosa (06-04-03)
It's your classic boy meets girl, both run from cannibalistic inbred hillbillies love story...

Reviewed: Finding Nemo by Derek McCaw (05-30-03)
It's beautiful animation, but it's the heart and soul that makes it work.

Reviewed: The Italian Job by Derek McCaw (05-30-03)
Because three heists are better than one...

Mark Hamill Joins The House Of Mouse...Sort Of by Derek McCaw (05-15-03)
Miramax picks up distribution for his directorial debut...

Reviewed: The Matrix Reloaded by Derek McCaw (05-14-03)
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Theodore Logan! Oh, if only...

Too Funny Not To Link by Derek McCaw (05-09-03)
When the superhero craze creeps into other movies...

Reviewed: Daddy Day Care by Derek McCaw (05-09-03)
Any movie that gets The Flash' Rogues' Gallery right can't be all bad...

Reviewed: X2 by Derek McCaw (05-02-03)
Man, it's going to suck to have to wait for the special edition DVD...

The Punisher? by Derek McCaw (04-30-03)
Artisan Entertainment releases its first look at Thomas Jane as Marvel's tortured killer...

Reviewed: Identity by Jordan Rosa (04-25-03)
Hmm...we can't shake the feeling Jordan's holding something back...

Reviewed: Confidence by Jordan Rosa (04-25-03)
Lesbian incest gag. Let's see if that tops Eliza Dushku in a bikini...

Reviewed: House of 1000 Corpses by Joe Williams (04-24-03)
Please welcome a new critic to our roster...and this movie is our hazing.

Previewed: X2 by Derek McCaw (04-24-03)
Fox doesn't want us to review it yet...but they didn't say we couldn't scream like schoolgirls...

Sonoma Valley Film Festival: My Life With Morrissey by Chris Garcia (04-21-03)
Which is more disturbing: this film, or Garcia's personal obsession with Morrissey?

Reviewed: Holes by Derek McCaw (04-18-03)
The best movie of 2003 (so far) is a kids' movie. What do they know that we don't?

Reviewed: Malibu's Most Wanted by Mish'al Samman (04-18-03)
Okay, if you want us not to be hatin', how about making a good movie?

Sonoma Valley Film Festival: Welcome Sinners by Chris Garcia (04-17-03)
The Velvet Hammer works to revive burlesque; this film doesn't work quite so well...

Reviewed: A Mighty Wind by Derek McCaw (04-16-03)
I'm ready for a REAL folk music revival, but for now, Christopher Guest's movie will do...

Sonoma Valley Film Festival: Confessions of a Burning Man by Chris Garcia (04-16-03)
Okay, I have a confession of my own. I have no idea what patchouli smells like.

Reviewed: Bulletproof Monk by Jordan Rosa (04-16-03)
Jordan sobered up and delivered; too bad the director of the film didn't.

Sonoma Valley Film Festival: The Backyard by Chris Garcia (04-15-03)
Why do we love wrestling? The answer may surprise you...

The Sonoma Valley Film Festival by Chris Garcia (04-14-03)
The Weasel, Women, and Wrestling in Winetown, U.S.A...

Reviewed: Anger Management by Derek McCaw (04-11-03)
I will never look at Buddhist monks in the same way again...

Reviewed: Cowboy Bebop by Jordan Rosa (04-04-03)
From now on, Jordan's going to be watching Adult Swim all the way through.. .

Reviewed: Phone Booth by Derek McCaw (04-04-03)
Please insert a teflon-coated bullet for another three minutes...

Reviewed: A Man Apart by Jordan Rosa (04-04-03)
They changed the name from Diablo to avoid all the "I've done my time in Hell" jokes.

Reviewed: Supertalk by Chris Garcia (04-02-03)
It's late and even superheroes need a little straight advice...

Reviewed: Basic by Jordan Rosa (03-28-03)
You know my favorite twist ending? Dorothy wakes up back in Kansas...

Reviewed: The Core by Derek McCaw (03-28-03)
You've got to respect a movie that goes through the Earth's crust without meeting a Morlock...

Reviewed: Piglet's Big Movie by Derek McCaw (03-21-03)
You can do it the family-friendly way, or you can take a dark journey into Disney's soul...

Cinequest Reviewed: Making Arrangements by Chris Garcia (03-21-03)
Enter the cutthroat world of the florist, but watch your pistils...

Reviewed: Dreamcatcher by Derek McCaw (03-21-03)
At the end of the day, turns out they're pretty much just sticks and yarn...

Reviewed: The Final Flight of the Osiris by Derek McCaw (03-20-03)
Because The Matrix Reloaded can't come soon enough...

Flying Exactly As Bricks Don't by Derek McCaw (03-20-03)
Not only does Superman not have an actor, now he doesn't even have a director...

Reviewed: Agent Cody Banks by Derek McCaw (03-14-03)
Like James Bond, only he really just wants to hold hands with the girl...

When I See A Superman Fly... by Derek McCaw (03-14-03)
Rocketed from a dying soap opera, comes an unknown who just might fit the suit...

Reviewed: Willard by Derek McCaw (03-14-03)
Crispin Glover in the least creepy role he's had in years...

Reviewed: The Hunted by Jordan Rosa (03-14-03)
But is it better than Benji The Hunted?

Are You Ready For...Codename:Courage? by Derek McCaw (03-07-03)
We got a surprise scoop on the film revival of a character nobody much remembers...

Cinequest Reviewed: The Legend of Dolemite by Chris Garcia (03-07-03)
Mr. Rudy Ray Moore has had a bigger impact on our culture than you might think...

Reviewed: Bringing Down The House by Mish'al Samman (03-07-03)
Hey, a movie that actually makes the black/white thing funny...

Cinequest Reviewed: Vampires Anonymous by Chris Garcia (03-05-03)
Our first report from Cinequest in San Jose -- a movie meant straight for the fanboy jugular...

Elektra Reborn! by Derek McCaw (02-26-03)
In a move sure to elicit ripples of shock throughout Hollywood, Elektra survives Daredevil...

Reviewed: Dark Blue by Derek McCaw (02-21-03)
A film about L.A. black and whites divided by black and white, reduced to black and white.

Reviewed: Old School by Michael Goodson (02-21-03)
Will Ferrell makes more of an ass of himself than usual -- is that a good thing?

Reviewed: Daredevil by Derek McCaw (02-07-03)
The Man Without Fear? More like the man without taste in music...

Reviewed: Shanghai Knights by Derek McCaw (02-07-03)
Goofiness stalks the gaslit streets of Victorian London...

Reviewed: Lost In La Mancha by Jordan Rosa (02-06-03)
Terry Gilliam dreams the impossible dream...

Reviewed: The Recruit by Derek McCaw (02-04-03)
Sure, it opened last weekend, but we were, um, held captive by enemy agents until now...

Reviewed: Final Destination 2 by Jordan Rosa (01-31-03)
It's a simple formula, but it works. But don't take my word for it...

Reviewed: Darkness Falls by Derek McCaw (01-24-03)
As movies go, it's one cool action figure...

Reviewed: A Guy Thing by Derek McCaw (01-17-03)
Jason Lee struggles to choose between Selma Blair and Julia Stiles. Yeah, we've been there...

Reviewed: National Security by Mish'al Samman (01-17-03)
Ebony and ivory, fight crime together in perfect harmony...

Busy Times At Hogwarts' by Derek McCaw (01-15-03)
At last, The Order of the Phoenix is on its way...

Reviewed: Narc by Derek McCaw (01-10-03)
Both cops want justice, but they may have very different ideas about what that means...

Reviewed: Nicholas Nickleby by Derek McCaw (01-03-03)
It's hiding at your local arthouse, and well worth the look...

Want Movie Articles and Reviews From 2002? Click Here.

Want Movie Articles and Reviews From 2001? Click Here.