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Timeline
A good
time-travel story will absorb you without making you wonder
about the complications. However, it's not a good sign if
you simply don't care. Go ahead! Stay stuck in the past! Step
on a butterfly! Anything if it will end my time with this
film!
And so
it is with Timeline, a muddled rush of action from
Richard Donner (Superman: The Movie) from an okay book
by Michael Crichton.
Like
most of Crichton's work, Timeline details the consequences
of technology run amok. Dumbed down by screenwriters Jeff
Maguire and George Nolfi, the whys and wherefores of this
time travel barely make sense, but for whatever reason, the
big bad invention links modern day New Mexico with a specific
village in 1357 France. Somehow there has to be a way to profit
from this, but creepy Bill Gates stand-in Robert Doniger (David
Thewlis) never quite makes it clear how.
Instead,
he's been feeding information to an archaeological dig on
the site, led by Professor Edward Johnston (Billy Connolly).
The specifics of Doniger's tips make Johnston suspicious,
which means he, too, must make the trip back in time. Of course,
something goes wrong, and his only means of asking for help
involves a parchment that he prays his team will find in 2003.
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And then
the holodeck malfunctioned again...
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Somehow
this ends up being a weak stab at historical epic, too, involving
a battle between the English and French that may be pivotal.
Both the novel and the film also take the slightly intriguing
tack that it's just possible that we really don't know enough
about what really happened in the past for a time traveler
to "alter" it. It could be fate. (But if one more character
had an epiphany moment in which they gasped, "it was me! It
was MEEEEE…")
Then
again, maybe this intrepid team did change the past and Donner
and company forgot to make any point of it.
For some
reason, this movie seems more made from Cliff's Notes than
a screenplay. Donner throws a series of expository scenes
at us in the first two minutes that establish the hazards
of time travel - other than you might get killed by a 14th
Century knight before you can say hello properly - but it
moves so fast that it plays like the trailer to some other
movie. And then, really, it has little bearing on the main
plot anyway (a flaw in the book, too).
As for
main plot, well, it involves a lot of running. A lot.
No character
can actually stay in one place for long before knights from
one side or the other start pursuing them. It would be funny
if it weren't so deadly dull. At least Donner does give some
of the choice action to the lone female on the team, Kate
Erickson (Frances O'Connor). Much of the escapes and physical
derring-do come from her, a trait shared with Gerard Butler
as Andrew Merrick, whose outrageous Scottish accent is as
thick and dangerous as any sword he might wield.
It should
be noted that the security force sent back in time, all ex-Marines,
are pretty much helpless. The only one that lasts more than
a minute, John Gordon (the usually really good Neal McDonough),
spends most of his time yelling, screaming, running, and looking
like he's wetting himself non-stop.
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"Come
on! Kill him! It won't affect history! I promise!"
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The ostensible
star, Paul Walker, gets to use every grimace in his repertoire,
but really ends up being the least interesting character in
the whole film. Which is kind of tough to do when you've got
Ethan Embry, too. Walker is the Professor's son Chris, a character
altered from the novel to somehow heighten the dramatic tension.
When you cast someone that makes Keanu Reeves look like John
Turturro, that gambit doesn't work.
And even
though the script makes a labored effort to explain how a
Scotsman like Connolly could sire this golden boy, Walker
just isn't up to it. Supposedly the family spent a year in
Kentucky, but that sure sounds like sullen California surfer
instead.
On the
plus side, by Walker's own admission Donner talked him out
of taking the role of Superman, so this movie will forever
have a soft spot in my heart.
But otherwise,
Timeline made me really hope for time travel just so
I could have my two hours back.
Rating:
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