SequelMania
2003!
first in a two-part series
Now starting
in May, the summer movie season brings us 14 sequels (16 if
you count the 2 crossover pictures twice) in 16 weeks. While
many will complain that this reliance on sequels shows a lack
of originality in Hollywood, it's actually much worse than
that. Of the two we've already seen there have been some disturbing
similarities with sequels from the past.
Already
out there:
X2:
X-Men United
Sequel Sibling: Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn
Proof:
Prof
X and Stryker have a past over the loss of Stryker's family,
as did Kirk and Kahn
Stryker
puts little drops of liquid on people's neck to mind control
them
Kahn
puts little worms in people's ears to mind control them
Both
Jean Grey and Spock valiantly sacrifices themselves only to
set up their resurrection in the third part.
Matrix
Reloaded
Sequel Sibling: The Empire Strikes
Back
Proof:
Our heroes
seek refuge in Zion/Cloud City
Neo,
like Luke, discovers he was spawned by his greatest enemy.
Like
Han, Neo finishes part two in a catatonic state.
If this
keeps up we're going to find out the Neo and Trinity are
brother and sister and Wolverine is eventually going to
save an orca. Here's a few of the parallels and what we
have to look forward to this summer.
2
Fast 2 Furious
Symptoms:
Huge
change in locale
Lacking
the main star power from the original
Original
had road work, sequel has jet skis
Sequel Sibling: Speed 2 : Cruise Control
Educated Prediction: Huge failure that leads to Paul
Walker exploding onto the Romantic Comedy Scene with inexplicable
success with unwatchable pictures like Hope Still Floats and
Mr. Congeniality.
Coming
soon:
Dumb
and Dumberer : When Harry Met Lloyd
Symptoms:
Prequel
to a picture about two not so bright buddies
Neither
lead actor returning
Both
lead hair cuts returning
Sequel Sibling: Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
Educated Prediction: No one sees it. Lame plotting
and poor casting sinks this stinker to the bottom of the bargain
barrel, but Alan Cumming shines as the Great Gazoo.
Rugrats
Go Wild!
Symptoms:
Two cartoon
families from two different shows meet
One is
primitive one is not
They
both have vaguely anthropomorphic pets
Sequel Sibling: Jetsons meet the Flintstones
Educated Prediction: The primitive Thornberrys believe
the Rugrats to come from another planet until the Thornberrys
are accidentally sent back to civilization. Sir Nigel Thornberry's
job at Cogswell Cogs brings much hilarity.
Legally
Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde
Symptoms:
Fish
out of water from the first film must again readjust
Our hero
from the first picture fights to free prisoners
Second
in the series is decidedly more patriotic
Sequel Sibling: Rambo: First Blood Part II
Educated Prediction: While freeing her dog's parent
from an evil Vietnamese captain, Elle Woods loses the woman
she loves and snaps. Part three takes place in Iraq.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
Symptoms:
Three
protagonists
Supporting
funny man of the first picture being replaced by another comic
Old pro
on the comeback trail complicates things for the main characters
Stupid
subtitle
Sequel Sibling: City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's
Gold
Educated Prediction: No one remembers that this sequel
was made. Drew Barrymore goes on to host the Oscars and the
other two wallow in a sad sitcom limbo.
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