If you put a hundred monkeys at a hundred word processors for a 
          hundred years, would one of them write a screenplay for a Tim Burton 
          film?
        The sun peeks over the horizon with a brilliant flare. Light creeps 
          over a scorched desert plain. And then, a hairy fist thrusts a rifle 
          into our view. That hairy fist belongs to a hairy arm, the arm of a 
          gorilla warrior. All the while, drums thump at the edge of our hearing. 
          For many, that image defines the Planet of the Apes. Everybody 
          remembers a bunch of guys walking around in gorilla suits, growling, 
          with a few British actors hunched over to simulate being chimps and 
          orangutans, pretending the work was not beneath them. In retrospect, 
          you can’t escape that the whole concept was kind of cheesy. Give Tim 
          Burton credit for battling to get away from that. Still, they’re monkeys, 
          man…talking monkeys. Can they make the box office their conquest in 
          2001?
        
           
            |  | 
        
        Instead of the ultimate male Charlton Heston, Burton’s Planet of 
          the Apes gives us Mark Wahlberg as Captain Leo Davidson. He works 
          on Project Oberon, stationed in space training genetically enhanced 
          chimpanzees to pilot probes into stellar phenomena. But he’s torn; as 
          much as Leo likes his prized chimp pupil Pericles, he wishes he were 
          the one flying the probes. Fate takes a hand in the form of a cosmic 
          storm that rips Pericles out of contact. Going against his superiors’ 
          wishes, Leo hijacks a probe to follow Pericles. Meanwhile, the crew 
          of the Oberon picks up bizarre distress calls coming from …themselves.
        Of course, Captain Davidson gets ripped through time and space to crash 
          on a planet that at first looks suspiciously like Dagobah. Instead of 
          hanging with a puppet, however, he hooks up with a group of humans fleeing 
          the savage (but nicely uniformed) apes of this world. From this moment 
          on, Burton’s unique vision takes hold. You’ve seen the commercials and 
          already noticed that these apes do move far more like apes than in any 
          of the previous incarnations. But what Burton and various screenwriters 
          have also brought is apes that act like apes. They leap and pounce 
          upon these running humans. For the first time in years, the thought 
          of intelligent apes attacking looks frightening. And then they speak.
        A confused Davidson, lying on the ground, accidentally touches the 
          booted foot of Attar, a prominent gorilla played by Michael Clarke Duncan. 
          The ape looks down and sneers “get your hands off me, you damned dirty 
          human.” Yes, Burton’s Planet of the Apes isn’t so much a remake 
          as a re-thinking of the concept, and that re-thinking includes the hip 
          ironic edge that today’s audiences demand. Even though we want to believe 
          in this world, the filmmakers have to remind us that it is, after all, 
          only a movie, and that we’ve sort of seen it before. By the time Charlton 
          Heston makes his inevitable cameo, it’s hard to know if we should take 
          it seriously or not. Most will vote for the not.
        At times, it starts to feel like The Flintstones. Thankfully, 
          the film avoids making bad puns in the service of its humor, but still, 
          the “ape city” has a closed-in, Disneyland feel to it, and many of the 
          scenes there have visual jokes to remind us of our own culture and vanities. 
          Kids play a ragged basketball. An old chimpanzee takes off his toupee 
          for the night. And, in a culture with no recognizable technology and 
          certainly no electricity, a teen ape gang hangs out smoking and listening 
          to techno. Never mind that escaping human servants seem to have this 
          strange knack for running into such places when they should be trying 
          to get away unseen. 
        
           
            |  | 
        
        Take heart, at least, that the humans here do avoid having the usual 
          post-apocalyptic mystical prophecies. They are a people without hope, 
          being hunted down into extinction by the villainous Thade (Tim Roth). 
          If they have an organization, it never gets made explicit. The de facto 
          leader seems to be Daena (Estella Warren), but that may be only because 
          she has the most screen time. They look to Davidson to do something, 
          anything, to strike a blow for equality with the apes, not because they 
          have long awaited this chosen one, but because he’s there. Only Davidson 
          can fight, because it never occurs to him that he can’t. If only Wahlberg 
          had been more magnetic.
        
           
            |  | 
        
        Burton has long had a fascination for tweaking the image of the hero. 
          In Apes, Davidson recognizes that things are out of whack, but 
          the impending genocide of the planet’s humans really doesn’t concern 
          him as much as finding a way home. As a result, Wahlberg makes a big 
          void in the center of the movie. The truly noble characters end up being 
          two apes, the lovely chimpanzee Ari (Helena Bonham Carter, disturbingly 
          attractive) and disgraced silverback Krull (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa). They 
          strike against the norm of their society, and in Krull’s case, fight 
          against their long-held distaste for humans to do what is right.
        All the apes, in fact, end up being far more vivid than the humans. 
          As the slave trader/con ape Limbo, Paul Giamatti provides purposeful 
          comic relief that doesn’t distract from the action. Roth makes a terrifying 
          chimp, and of course, a great villain. The gorillas all blend into one, 
          though, even with the towering Duncan as their leader. Tagawa does strike 
          a graceful note as the one gorilla not mindlessly part of the crowd, 
          but he seems the least comfortable in a gorilla suit. On him, it looks 
          like a big prosthetic, though he still manages to do some beautiful 
          sword-work within it.
        Planet of the Apes has a more coherent story than usual for 
          this summer, though you still shouldn’t think too hard about its plot 
          twists (in a world with no communications systems, how do all the tribes 
          of humans find out about the man who defies the apes? Shut up and have 
          another Red Vine). It’s goofy, but it has moments of good thrills.
		  
        
        Derek 
          McCaw 
        
		  
		
        
        
     
        
 
          Reviewed: Kiss of the 
          Dragon by Derek McCaw
          (Updated 7-6-01, 5:43 PM PST) Jet 
          Li can kill a man with just his thumb, but chopsticks are more civilized. 
        
        
		 
        
Reviewed: 
          Dr. Dolittle 2 
          by Derek McCaw (Updated 6-25-01, 5:18 
          PM PST)  
          
          Talkin' to the fuzzy bear. If ya know what I mean.
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