Falls Count Anywhere

02-28-06

Of course, WHICH movie it is would be for you to guess...

SmackDown!
Now that things have been hammered down to the point where it’s a three-way between Rey, Kurt Angle and Randy Orton, I’m expecting very good things. The last three-way main event at Mania was the Match of the Year: HHH-Benoit-Shawn Michaels.

Randy Orton opened the show in the ring saying that Undertaker vs. Angle was the greatest main event in SmackDown! history. Well, there was a period in 2002 where Angle was having a series of the greatest matches of all-time, but we can let that go. Chavo ran in and gave Randy the Three Amigos and the Frog Splash before security hauled him out. Chavo is getting a little rub from Rey, which is a good thing. Chavo’s always had the ability to be a player.

Matt Hardy and Tatanka lost to MNM in a decent, if not anything special, match. Melina went with curls on the show, which Cole said made her look like a lion. I kinda think she’s hot with ‘em, but with my hair, I have to. Mercury and Nitro are very fluid together. They actually do double team moves like Double Back Elbows. Hardy shows that he’s still motivated despite being pushed down the card by doing a combination Bulldog on Mercury while Clotheslining Nitro. That was a very cool spot. Mercury uses a Northern Lights for a near fall and then they try for a Snapshot which ends with Tatanka coming in to break it up. Hardy sets up the Twist of Fate, but Melina jumps at his feet and that allows Mercury to get a roll-up.

Decent match, and even Tatanka worked fairly hard. It’s amazing that a guy in his late 40s (47 is what the Observer says, though I think that may be a year or two inflation) can come back looking good and actually having better matches than he did when he was in originally, though that isn’t saying much.

Remember, kids, piracy is a crime.

In a weird but I must admit hilarious segment, Regal is reading a letter from a girl named Jenny who says that Burchill has besmirched Regal with his Piratesque actions of late. Burchill seems to ignore Regal until he lights a Vaudeville-type bomb and hands it to Regal. Regal flips out in the way that only he can. The Pirate thing is a strange gimmick, but Regal will sell anything in storyline so brilliantly that it almost makes up for it. His reaction to the bomb was priceless.

The Boogeyman beat The Dicks. I know how that sounds, but the real highlight was Booker T on commentary. He’s got a career in broadcasting as a Lawler circa 1993 if they want him. It’s a short match, but Booker really made it interesting.

They go over who’s going into the WWE Hall of Fame. There’s Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, The Blackjacks (Mulligan & Lanza), Mean Gene and Tony Atlas. That’s a good line-up because you get two guys who were huge stars, one who defined the out of ring interviewer, a tag team that is really going in for the years of service to the WWF and Tony Atlas. Well, they can’t all be good.

Rey Mysterio came out for an interview. Here’s where Theodore R. Long officially made it a Three-Way because Orton used the ropes. Rey was a happy little boy because of that.

One of the Divas, honestly I don’t remember which one, comes out to promote the new Divas magazine. Jillian Hall comes out and says that people would rather watch JBL wrestle than see her disrobe. While I’m all for more wrestling and less T&A (or more TNA), JBL would not be my first choice.

JBL actually had hand surgery following a serious break that happened later in the show. He doesn’t need his hands to deliver those promos, so he’ll do fine. Jillian Hall gets her blouse torn off and the other girl takes off her robe. We should all be titillated by the sexy goings-on.

What they’re trying to do with Gregory Helms is a strange return to old-style junior heavyweights. He took on Psicosis in a match that wouldn’t make you think it was the best thing on the show, but it was good enough. Helms used a Stump Puller, one of the oldest submission holds in wrestling and the former finisher for Ted Arcidi’s brief WWF career, though it gets him no win. Psicosis uses the Hurrancanarana for a near fall, but Helms gets things back on track and after having a Superplex blocked, Helms crotches Psi and then pins him using the ropes.

Surprisingly, Rey, this match DIDN'T stink...

In a strange six man match, Rey Mysterio teamed with Bobby Lashley and Chris Benoit to take on Fit Finlay, JBL and Randy Orton. Rey started things off fast on Orton, but like an Arena Mexico match, they both switch out and we get Finlay and Lashley. These two are being put together so that Finlay can teach Lashley how to be a bad ass.

Finlay looks mean using his uppercuts, but Lashley hits him with a backdrop. Step One: Never stop a beating with a backdrop. It’s not mean enough.JBL and Benoit then face off for a bit. Things break down and we get a commercial while all six men are in the ring.

When we get back, JBL is in Benoit’s Sharpshooter until Bradshaw makes the ropes. Lashley comes in and hits a nice Overhead Belly-to-Belly. It was Angle-pretty, that one. Lashley hits a spear and Finlay breaks up the pin attempt. Crowd is getting into Finlay as a heel. Good for them. Rey and Finlay get to work a little, and Fit beats on him a bit. Orton tags in and takes over on the beating. Rey manages a Flying Headscissors on Orton sending him into the post. Benoit and JBL both come in at the same time and Benoit gives JBL, Orton and Finlay German Suplexes. Flying Headbutt on JBL, but the pin is broken up by Finlay. Lashley takes care of Fit and when JBL goes for a Clothesline from Hell, Benoit turns it into a Crossface. Finlay returns and breaks that up.

I’m liking the role they’re having Fit play in this match. He’s like Arn Anderson in the 1980s Horsemen. Benoit uses the ring steps to hurt JBL’s hand, and like Jimmy Garvin in 1987, he actually does manage to hurt his hand. Rey got in and did the 619 for the pin to end a really good little match.

I liked the wrestling on this show. There was plenty of work that I thought was good and I hope that there’s more of this on the way to Mania.

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Chris Garcia