Here's an idea. Retool the whole show, rename it Metropolis, move the main plotlines over there, add a whole lot more Luthor-y goodness, and create a sort of 21st century Dallas with Lex and Lionel.

Because that show wouldn't SUCK. It would be kind of fun, provided the WB announcer guy didn't get all hyperdramatic every week, and as long as the periodic and inevitable visits back to Smallville yielded real character development.

Of course I wasn't looking forward to it. The last time I was promised "Lex Luthor crosses over to the dark side" I was sorely disappointed and didn't expect this to be any different. It wasn't, particularly, at least not in terms of Lex's alleged darkness, but otherwise it was very different indeed.

Because it didn't suck.

Lionel has been spying on Lex in the Smallvile manse, aided by countless tiny AV devices in various places, which have given him the ability to beat LexCorp on some business deals. Lex immediately retaliates, hiring a team of specialists to bug LuthorCorp right back.

This is the dark side to which the announcer guy referred. Like the Club Zero incident, it doesn't seem so much dark and damning as ruthless and calculating. If that's going to be his path to evil, fine, but I'd like to see what's tethering him to humanity, and I'd like to see it break eventually.

He picked the wrong day to bug the building, though, because Lionel has whisked Martha away to work one-on-one for the day. She's missing her anniversary celebration with Jonathan, and Clark feels bad for his parents, so he asks Lex for the use of his helicopter to fly his dad into the city.

Jonathan's having none of it, and lashes out at Lex for interfering in their lives, disregarding Clark's explanations. Lex lashes right back, but soon they find that hostages are being held in the LuthorCorp building. Lex's bugging team has gone rogue, and gone after Lionel's vault, despite his protestations that there is nothing of value in there.

When Jonathan comes crawling back, Lex actually stops him from grovelling, after enjoying only a few moments of Mr. Kent's uncomfortable, reluctant apologizing. Again, not a very convincing argument for his pending evilness.

Granted, he does feel the whole thing is his fault, and that makes him feel evil, whether or not he deserves the self-flagellation. He attempts to negotiate with the team (using the fake voice and fake name he contracted them under), until he finds out what's actually in the vault.

A small fortune in glowy-green bricks, private files on several important people (Clark), and a small, metallic octagon.

Lex is furious; these are, obviously, things he wants for himself, and the negotiations take a more selfish turn. Martha is stunned; this is not the Luthor she expected such behavior from. The team is just frustrated; they've risked a whole lot for nothing, and now need to take advantage of the mysterious materials' worth to save their skins.

While everyone is dithering about the next step, Clark tries to take matters into his own hands, but is stopped by an overly aggro cop. Who then loses track of him for quite long enough, allowing him to climb to the top of the Daily Planet building and jump across to LuthorCorp. Yeah, I don't know, but I was glad to see the Planet building. Nothing cooler than a giant rotating brass planet, if you ask me.

In the ensuing kerfuffle, Clark mostly causes more problems than he solves, but Martha manages to keep the octagon in her possession, and heat vision boy lights his confidential file on fire to protect himself. In a stroke of super-convenience, Lionel (who is blind, remember) shoots the only other witness to Clark's super abilities. Again, I'll point out how pissed off I am about that, and the contrivance that keeps this show from showing meaningful forward motion on a regular basis.

I'll briefly eat my words, though, because Lana is finally not just whinging about her family, but becoming involved with her biological father and his family. Mrs. Small is warning her off for her own sake, though, fearing that Henry will soon lose interest in his newfound daughter.

And the Kents make a very Luthor-esque decision, and Martha will continue to work with Lionel, with an especially sharp eye towards his investigations of her family. Then she hides the octagon in a can of flour. I sure hope that's lead paint on the outside of that can, Ma, otherwise I don't know who you think you're fooling.

Or, for that matter, why she'd do such a thing. Perhaps she saw something particularly horrifying in the moments when the spaceship activated at the end of last season? Is she concerned that the more Clark knows about himself, the more dangerous his life will become to powerful men like her boss? Maybe she's just a mom worried about losing her baby?

It's nice to know those questions might be answered again some time, and that not every episode of this season is going to suck outright. Oh, and that Dallas suggestion earlier? They're already taking it to heart, to wit, next week's episode: Who Shot Lionel Luthor?

Sarah Stanek