Good thing
there isn't a temporal smog check, because Enterprise
wouldn't pass the test.
This week's
episode, "Expanse" not only marked the end of the
second season, but also the end of any real commitment to
the original Star Trek time line. But really, we've
seen that coming since the pilot.
This week
we open with a probe approaching Earth, over what is clearly
Florida. The strange round orb glows and spins, then shoots
a beam at the surface, destroying all in its path.
The music
becomes more and more dramatic, almost 1970's TV cop dramatic.
And just after one of the most impressive special effects
scenes on Enterprise where the beam carves deep into
the Gulf of Mexico and stirs up an enormous tsunami, the orb
explodes, falling to the Earth.
Deep breath.
Very cool.
Meanwhile
on Qo'noS (the Klingon home world), Duras is reprimanded for
failing to capture Archer, twice. This picks up right after
last week, when Archer escaped being cashed in for his "Bounty."
The chastened Klingon vows to capture the villainous human.
Back with
our heroes, the Enterprise has been recalled. There have been
over seven million deaths in the alien terrorist attack. On
their way home the Suliban surround the ship. They have no
problem capturing Archer.
On the
Suliban lead ship, a mysterious man from the future (James
Horan) warns that the alien attack on Earth resulted from
the Temporal Cold War. Apparently the humans are responsible
for the extinction of the Vidians in the 26th century. (Apparently
this new alien race had been forced to watch a marathon of
Voyager episodes.) So they're striking Earth before
the humans even have a chance to form the Federation.
And just
as the plot gets as complicated as a Shakespearean play, the
Enterprise pulls into the Sol System and Duras attacks. We're
instantly reminded that there ARE other human ships. A squad
of mini-starships beat off Duras, sending him to somewhere
over by Pluto, where he remains cloaked until he can smoke
a cigarette, rest up, and strike again.
Archer
then spends a lot of time trying to convince Starfleet and
the Vulcans that the future man was telling the truth. And
that he should be allowed to take Enterprise into the deadly
Delphic Expanse. There, or so the mysterious man says, the
Vidians are building a weapon that will wipe out Earth completely.
Not just Florida. (But...but...Disney World...)
Starfleet
eventually believes Archer's story - after all, what choice
do they have?
The Enterprise
is then retrofitted with new weapons and armory. And we get
a space tour of the NX-02, which looks just like the Enterprise.
It will be ready in fourteen months - or just in time to save
the day in the 4th season premiere episode (place your bets).
The crew
sets out for the expanse. A few resign their posts, afraid
of the terrible things that supposedly happen in the Delphic
Crazy Sector of Space. Trip, however, is really ready to find
the Vidians. His sister was among the casualties. And mirroring
the sort of frustrated anger so many Americans felt after
9/11, he vows to "...kill the bastards that did this."
T'Pol
is ordered by the Vulcan High Command to leave her post and
return to Vulcan. She doesn't want to go. She believes the
humans need her help, and she wants to be loyal to Archer.
She believes she belongs there.
But T'Pol
doesn't belong on the Enterprise.
Remembering
the pilot, the only reason why T'Pol was put on Enterprise
was to monitor the humans' first and very dangerous mission.
Thanks
to the Temporal Cold War, a Klingon was dropped on Earth,
and they had to get him back before a civil war started. The
Vulcans, knowing the Klingons' violent nature, sent T'Pol
as an overseer. To help aid the humans. They also brought
along Dr. Phlox who was the only person who knew how to treat
Klingons. Neither of these two aliens were supposed to be
on the first human mission. And in fact, the first human mission
wasn't to take place for months to come.
The moment
the Enterprise left space dock in the series pilot, the entire
Star Trek timeline had been rewritten. They've encountered
aliens they weren't supposed to. Fought villains they weren't
supposed to. Taken on challenges they weren't supposed to.
Now they're fighting a war that isn't supposed to occur for
hundreds of years.
Enterprise
brings brand new meaning to the phrase "Based on Star
Trek: Created by Gene Roddenberry." The timeline
is corrupt. The events that follow are and will be different
than those on the original show and all the spin-offs and
films.
The good
news is: At least the show doesn't suck.
So just
as Enterprise is about to break though the Delphic
Expanse's pink cloudy layer and enter its wacky center, Duras
appears with two additional Birds of Prey. After some tricky
maneuvers, they defeat the Klingons in honorable battle, flying
into the expanse and into the off season. To be continued...
What will
come of Enterprise next year?
Anything.
Really.
There
are no rules. We're dealing with aliens in a timeline beyond
even The Next Generation.
Look forward
to Enterprise battling whatever the hell the creators feel
like stealing from the other shows. We've seen the Borg. We
could see anything. The Dominion, Q, species 8472 - they could
even go face to face with the Romulans, and blow their pointy-eared
secret 150 years early, because it doesn't matter any more.
Throw
away your original Star Trek DVDs. Enterprise
is going to rewrite them anyway.
Boldly
going to a place where we've been before, but now it's totally
different…
