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Reprisal/All the Time in the World
original air-date: 05-22-06

What can you really say when a show ends?

Sometimes, there’s a lot to say. With some, you can argue that they ended too soon (see Angel), and with others, you can say that they lasted too long (see The X-Files). Still, whether a show went out on top (see Buffy) or rock bottom (see Friends, Will and Grace, etc…), there is almost always a sense of loss when a show ends.

Though I became an infrequent fan during this final season of Alias, I will admit that the feeling did come over me as I watched the unnecessarily long series finale.

It’s not so much that I am sad to see the show go. As a fan I became disappointed by the direction, if you can really call it that, the show took and only tuned in occasionally, sometimes due to a lack of interest and others because I wasn’t sure what night ABC had moved the show to during any particular week. Even so, I was sad to see a show that I once considered myself to be devoted to end in a fashion unfitting of how great this show really was during its first few seasons.

What can really be said about the season finale? First off, it was way too long. “Reprisal” was really a waste of time and only used as set up for the final hour. So, expendable character number 2, Tom, died while saving everyone else at APO before he ever got the chance to hook up with expendable character number 1, Rachel. Big deal.

Even if you saw every episode of this season, I have a feeling that you weren’t invested in these characters at all and probably could’ve cared less about what happened to them.

What was cool about the first hour was seeing Amanda Foreman back as Carrie. As the concerned wife of kidnapped Marshall, she brought real warmth and emotion to a lackluster beginning.

So, let’s get down to the meat and tater tots of the episode. Sloane gets control of a bunch of nukes and the final piece of the Rambaldi puzzle by having Kelly take out the Twelve. Where exactly were they trying to go with the nukes? Why were they even a part of the storyline? It seemed completely unresolved by the end of the episode and all we knew was that it was a part of some grand scheme Sloane had cooked up with Spy Mommy. Whatever.

The flashbacks were another big waste of time. Why were they needed? We knew all of this stuff about Sydney already. They weren’t even sappy enough to bring a tear or two to the eyes of us more sensitive fanboys and girls.

I suppose that they were meant to remind us of the strained but loving relationship between Spy Daddy and Daughter. And, yes, I will admit that seeing Jack dying while Sydney was telling him to hold on was somewhat moving. This was because I actually cared about their relationship, unlike Tom and Rachel’s or Sydney and Vaughn’s…

I will admit that Jack got a good death. Taking Sloane down with him so that he would have to spend the rest of his eternal life in that cave was pretty cool. A little too Raiders of the Lost Ark for me, but cool nonetheless. Also, the fact that Nadia’s spirit/ghost/hallucination abandoned him was a nice little touch, ensuring Sloane would truly be in his own private hell on earth.

What was decidedly uncool was the death of Spy Mommy. Irina gets taken out by reaching for the elixir of life or whatever the hell it was (again, shades of Indy come to mind), while Sydney tries to save her mother’s life. It was stupid, it was boring, and it probably cost ABC a whole lot of money to get Lena Olina for four minutes of complete crap. Sigh.

So, what are we left with?

The future, of course. Sydney and Vaughn have a mostly idyllic life on a secluded beach with their beautiful daughter and newborn son, named after the dearly departed Spy Daddy. Occasionally, they venture back into the land of wigs and stiletto heels, seemingly for the fun of it all, but their family is the true focus of their lives.

Just like mommy, little Isabelle has remarkable spatial reasoning capabilities, but, fortunately, it doesn’t look like she’ll follow in Syd’s footsteps. Still, I think it could set them up nicely for a TV movie. Perhaps they could call it Spy Kids…wait a minute…

All in all, I was glad to see the show end. It probably should have been cancelled a while ago, but they reached the amount of episodes it takes to get syndicated and in the world of TV shows, that’s all that really matters.

In all honesty, though, a show that started out by taking risks and daring to be different got a decidedly safe ending. I would have liked to see Sydney go out with more style, more ass kicking, and more emotion.

However, what’s done is done and we’re only left with one thing… the DVDs. Thanks fanboys and girls; it’s been real.

Rebecca Sparling

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