Oh, sure. I beg and whine for letters, they pour in, and then I get too busy to run any.

I suck. Utterly suck.

Here we are with the highlights of February. Please don't let my own editorial laziness stop you from writing in, and definitely stop by and make your opinions known on the Fanboy Forum.

Garcia Gets Praise

It's good to see someone reporting that has some perspective that goes back beyond the "oh-so-lame" pastel Hulk Hogan years. I grew up in Miami. My grandfather was nuts about wrestling. He would get so worked up. He was always such a quiet man, so it was fun to see him shouting out to the bad guys: "You dirty low life!"

Round about 1970, I was part of a three person team that broadcast the weekly wrestling matches from the Miami Beach Auditorium (or the Convention Center when we had big draws). I feel fortunate to have watched legends like Eddie Graham, Johnny Valentine, Freddie Blassie, Dory Funk, Lou Thesz and so many others over about a five year period.

Today's wrestling, for all its hype and media push, pales in contrast to what I recall. The greatest match I ever saw was when Dory Funk, Jr. wrestled The Gladiator (Rick Hunter) to a 60-minute draw. Can you imagine the stamina that took? And though The Gladiator was the crowd favorite, it never deteriorated into a punching contest. As for brutal matches, nothing could possibly top the Eddie Graham vs. Buddy Colt bloodbaths (except possibly the Eddie Graham vs. Great Malenko, Bobbie Shane, Tarzan Tyler, Bob Orton or Fred Blassie, etc., etc. bloodbaths). Back then the matches were better orchestrated, with the opening matches leading up to good, solid mid-card performers, then the main event. I doubt that anyone ever walked away from there feeling like they didn't get their money's worth.

I was also fortunate enough to get to meet, and sometimes get to know, some of the wrestlers. Without a doubt, Dory Funk, Jr. and Rick Hunter were the nicest people I met, though I really never met a wrestler I didn't like. Usually they were all so courteous.

We'd talk a bit, turn on the reel-to-reel recorder and the guys would go off on their "loony, maniac, killer, whatever routine" -- at least the bad guys. I remember Tarzan Tyler asking me if I thought he'd sounded too crazy after an interview.

I remember quite vividly (though I was in my teens) when the whole McMahon empire began. Buddy Rogers had lost the NWA world title to Lou Thesz. Vince's grandfather then created the WWWF (World Wide Wrestling Federation) championship, which Rogers immediately lost to Bruno Sammartino.

It wasn't until Vince Jr. created Hulk Hogan that things really began to get weird. It was Twilight Zone stuff when the "Hulkster" had a movie where he had to beat this guy "Zeus" and the next thing you knew, Zeus and Hogan were wrestling "real" matches. Man, did that stink up the place. Of course, had I known about 2002's "Katie Vick" incident, I would have appreciated it a bit more I guess.

Between the stuff Vince was peddling and the tripe that the NWA eventually started dishing out after Ted Turner got hold of it (which eventually became WCW) it was quite a difference from the "good old days." I'd tune in once in a while just to see if things were as bad as I remembered them. They were. Now, week after week we get the same basic matchups, same lame storylines and abominable acting.

Once in a great while WWE may turn out a great match or come up with a decent plot, but how long can they peddle the same crappy material week after week? I am amazed that they get the huge crowds at these events. Yeah, who wouldn't want to see a guy that looks like he lives in a dumpster (that Hardy guy -- so sad)?

Anyhow, I am enjoying your take on things. Keep up the good work.

Chris writes: Hey, I've got a fan!

And then the estimable Mr. Garcia got excited and ran around the room a few times until we finally took him out with a tranquilizer dart.

Andorian Breasts

Good article on Fanboy Planet... Out of curiosity (okay, I admit it, I was searching for a pic of the mentioned azure bosom... I feel so dirty now) I Googled Suzie Plakson, and found out she has been in a few Next Generation episodes as a Klingon. My inner fanboy found this somewhat interesting so I though I'd pass it along. Does this mean there's a core group of about a dozen people that play all the aliens in Trek? ;) Keep up the good work!

--Dave Langdon

Kevin responds: Glad you liked the article. What words did you use in
your search engine to find Andorian breasts?

To my understanding there is a short list of around 100 actors that the casting couch relies on. Thats why you'd see the actor who played Tom Paris on TNG playing pretty much the same role.

Kevin's dream? Actor Number 101 -- he plays a mean Bajoran.

Breaking Some Sad News

I watched (Birds of Prey) a two hour episode last night(2-19-03)and it was introduced as the season finale, but in TV Guide its listed as the series finale. Will the show be back in the fall?

-- J. Holman

I noticed that The WB kept saying "season finale," too. Perhaps it was a last-ditch effort to garner interest, or just a cruel joke on fans of the show. Birds of Prey has indeed been cancelled, with no hope and good reason. When I get a chance, I'll be finishing up the episode reviews of this potential-filled show that went so horribly, horribly wrong.

Actually Sad News: The Passing of Mister Rogers

He was one of God's true messengers of love and peace.

A GREAT MAN..

We can all stand to learn a lesson from this man, especially our world leaders...

-- David Busby

It may sound hokey, but I agree completely, and found the articles and tributes to Fred Rogers last week driving me toward picking up my Bible, wishing I could be as sincere and kind as him. Then I accidentally laughed at a Garth Ennis book.

Forces of Chaos Beyond Our Control

This is a little freaky. Yesterday I spent some time reading a few Moorcock related websites. Don't remember how I even got there; some thread started on Amazon. I hadn't thought about those books in years.

I devoured all the books in high school and college. Even the obscure ones. Too bad I donated my collection to the local library. Some of those titles and prints would be worth $$$ today.

Anyway, yesterday during this little reading session I think: "Huh. I'm surprised no one has tried to make an Elric movie yet." And this morning while doodling on the fogged shower door as I often do, I drew the 8 arrow symbol of Chaos. Really.

And then just now I read your Planet Buzz. Spooky...

--Dallas Eisenhower

Blood and souls for my Lord Arioch. BLOOD AND SOULS!

Finally, How To Get Letters...Make a Continuity Mistake!

Gah! I don't believe it, but I'm here to be a nit-picky fangirl! <Sigh> Here goes!

You wrote:
Ampata (Inca Mummy Girl): Ancient murderer and the source of the line "His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe." Any date that results in a new disease is not a date to be proud of.

What happened on the show:
Ampata just tried to suck the life out of the Xanman by kissing him.The "funny syphilis" that Xander contracted was in the episode "Pangs". He was cursed by the Native American tribe for disturbing the buried mission that was the resting place of the souls killed my missionaries and those lovely European diseases.

--Christine Byrom

Okay, I hate to be one of those people who's a stickler for details, but there was a minor error in your summary of Xander's romances.

The line "Penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe" is a reference to season 4 when Xander, on one of his first day's as a construction worker, inadvertently uncovered the 'old Sunnydale mission' and in the process of releasing all the old vengeful Native American spirits, contracted syphilis (also referenced at during his tirade at the end of the Dracula episode - "Why am I always the one who gets the funny syphilis....I'm through being everybody's butt monkey")

Oh, and I just thought of this: over in LA, Cordelia is now at least partly demon, so he's batting a thousand.

So now I feel like the biggest geek in the whole friggin world, but oh well. (oh and I'm sorry if this is just one of dozens of emails you've gotten pointing out the same thing)

-- Jay R. Smith-hill

Goodson responds: You’re right, I’m wrong. I promise to flog myself vigorously.

Eh, he does that anyway. Until the next letters column...

Fanboy Planet