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In
Praise Of Michael Goodson...and NOT From His Mother, Who Agrees
With Me
Dear
Sir,
I have come to believe that the shining star of Fanboy Planet
is Michael Goodson. I'm am convinced that his association
with all of you is holding him back. He is funny, slightly
good looking, and a very creative wit. Come on be honest,
without Goodson you'd never be able to pay the bills. I think
Mr. Goodson needs a very large raise, and a new set of Spiderman
Underoos.
Therefore: I'm currently working on the charter for the Michael
"Too good for Fanboy Planet" Goodson Fanclub.
Keep up the good work, Mike. There are hundreds of us hoping
you will start your own site and lose the anchor around your
neck.
Your biggest fan,
Timmy
--Tim
Tahoe
Derek
responds:
Dear Timmy,
I don't know who you are, but you couldn't be more right...and
more wrong.
It's true that I could not pay the bills without Michael Goodson,
and I am grateful for the special dignity that he affords
his "extra" job as male exotic dancer. He works
hard for his tips, and those go directly into the Fanboy Planet
coffers. I will definitely take your recommendation of new
Spiderman Underoos into consideration.
If there are hundreds of you, why are you not all flooding
the site on Justice League day? Or on those all-too-rare occasions
that Michael ventures into wrestling writing? Let's face it
-- if not for Fanboy Planet, Michael would be just another
pretty face turning tricks on 2nd and William Streets, lost
amongst the other transvestites.
In
all seriousness, he did start his own website: Fanboy Planet.
He just prefers that other people do the work.
Michael
responds to my response:
Ouch.
No need to slap down the newest follower of Goodsonetics.
I'm sure there are a few McCawmons out there, but they probably
aren't permitted computer access.
Luckily,
One Reader Has Come To His Senses...
How come
nearly all of the points on your top
ten list for Mace Windu have absolutely nothing to do
with Mace Windu as a character, but are instead racist jokes
about the fact that he's black?
-- Brandon
C. Smith
Michael
responds:
You're
right that most of them have nothing to do with Mace Windu,
but the majority are references to other Samuel Jackson roles.
I tried to look at them from your point of view but other
than #2, the rest have no racial connotation that I see. #2
does play on a racial stereotype but I'm honestly so not concerned
with skin color or race that it never occurs to me that it
might offend someone. I'll take the lump for that one but
I stand firmly behind the rest.
If
any people from Alabama were offended by #7 on the Princess
Leia list, I apologize for that one too.
Happy
New Year and thanks for writing in.
An
Intriguing Offer...
I have
a bunch of old ALF comic books I want to get rid of, I will
give them to you if interested and willing to pay media mail
postage.
--Mary
Hanson
This
brings up a great point: ALF had a comic?
No,
seriously, if you have old children's comics that you don't
want, don't offer them to Fanboy Planet -- donate them to
a local school. Comics are great reading material. Even if
kids don't know who ALF is (and they will soon enough -- he
has a talkshow in development), they'll find his Marvel Comics'
adventures fun because he's just a goofy character. Granted,
I find him disturbing, especially when he endorses long-distance
plans.
That's
it for this week. My New Year's Resolution, just like last
year, is to have a weekly (at least) letters column, but really,
that's up to you guys. So WRITE! (I
also have a bunch of other resolutions, but I'm not sharing
them with you just yet...)
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