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In Praise Of Michael Goodson...and NOT From His Mother, Who Agrees With Me

Dear Sir,

I have come to believe that the shining star of Fanboy Planet is Michael Goodson. I'm am convinced that his association with all of you is holding him back. He is funny, slightly good looking, and a very creative wit. Come on be honest, without Goodson you'd never be able to pay the bills. I think Mr. Goodson needs a very large raise, and a new set of Spiderman Underoos.

Therefore: I'm currently working on the charter for the Michael "Too good for Fanboy Planet" Goodson Fanclub.

Keep up the good work, Mike. There are hundreds of us hoping you will start your own site and lose the anchor around your neck.

Your biggest fan,

--Tim Tahoe

Derek responds:
Dear Timmy,

I don't know who you are, but you couldn't be more right...and more wrong.

It's true that I could not pay the bills without Michael Goodson, and I am grateful for the special dignity that he affords his "extra" job as male exotic dancer. He works hard for his tips, and those go directly into the Fanboy Planet coffers. I will definitely take your recommendation of new Spiderman Underoos into consideration.

If there are hundreds of you, why are you not all flooding the site on Justice League day? Or on those all-too-rare occasions that Michael ventures into wrestling writing? Let's face it -- if not for Fanboy Planet, Michael would be just another pretty face turning tricks on 2nd and William Streets, lost amongst the other transvestites.

In all seriousness, he did start his own website: Fanboy Planet. He just prefers that other people do the work.

Michael responds to my response:
Ouch. No need to slap down the newest follower of Goodsonetics. I'm sure there are a few McCawmons out there, but they probably aren't permitted computer access.

Luckily, One Reader Has Come To His Senses...

How come nearly all of the points on your top ten list for Mace Windu have absolutely nothing to do with Mace Windu as a character, but are instead racist jokes about the fact that he's black?

-- Brandon C. Smith

Michael responds:

You're right that most of them have nothing to do with Mace Windu, but the majority are references to other Samuel Jackson roles. I tried to look at them from your point of view but other than #2, the rest have no racial connotation that I see. #2 does play on a racial stereotype but I'm honestly so not concerned with skin color or race that it never occurs to me that it might offend someone. I'll take the lump for that one but I stand firmly behind the rest.

If any people from Alabama were offended by #7 on the Princess Leia list, I apologize for that one too.

Happy New Year and thanks for writing in.

An Intriguing Offer...

I have a bunch of old ALF comic books I want to get rid of, I will give them to you if interested and willing to pay media mail postage.

--Mary Hanson

This brings up a great point: ALF had a comic?

No, seriously, if you have old children's comics that you don't want, don't offer them to Fanboy Planet -- donate them to a local school. Comics are great reading material. Even if kids don't know who ALF is (and they will soon enough -- he has a talkshow in development), they'll find his Marvel Comics' adventures fun because he's just a goofy character. Granted, I find him disturbing, especially when he endorses long-distance plans.

That's it for this week. My New Year's Resolution, just like last year, is to have a weekly (at least) letters column, but really, that's up to you guys. So WRITE! (I also have a bunch of other resolutions, but I'm not sharing them with you just yet...)


Derek McCaw

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