Falls Count Anywhere

12-19-03

Vote for the Garcia Wrestling Awards.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and the power of the mind is undeniable.

SmackDown!
I loved the opening recapping Brock vs. Rey Mysterio. They are really working on getting the Brock Lock over, which is a smart move, as they need to build moves this way. Hardcore Holly looks really good in this short format.

John Cena opened up with a little bit lyricism on the Fat Guy from the North Pole. It was funny, but the crowd didn't seem into that much. Might have been the miking. He came to the announce position to work with Cole and Taz, which is always a plus since the match was Orlando Jordan and Big Show. Orlando didn't seem very confident in the match, and the Big Show seemed even more gangly than usual. That facelock into the legdrop move that Show did was pretty cool. Orlando Jordan looks like George Wells from the 1980s. He never went anywhere either.

They are really trying to make Hardcore Holly into a contender by having him escorted by security guards. The interview segment was fairly good, though it didn't get a ton of response. Brock chided A-Train for losing to Shannon Moore. Matt Morgen showed a little charisma in ratting A-Train's loss out. Heyman was himself, as always. They did a nice bit where Heyman claimed that the Board of Directors would never allow a man's career to be on the line in a handicap match. I believe that makes them as powerful as the Powers That Be on Angel.

Another recap of the weekend shows. They showed Cena interacting with the fans, which may help bring the house shows back from the brink.

Fatal Fourway Match with Los Guerreros and their jacked truck, The World's Greatest Tag Team, The Bashems, and Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty. Eddy Guerrero (is my favorite wrestler) is going to be the first man on the cover of Lowrider Magazine. I might just buy that issue. The match was full of great workers, as even Rikishi can go when he's in with a good opponent. Shaniqua has a good gimmick, a great look and a solid presence. I love when a big guy suplexes two smaller guys. It's just a good looking move.

Wrong on so many levels.

The match moved, allowed everyone to work a bit and get all their signatures in, especially the Double Stinkface that befell the Bashems. The post-break section was all action that worked, though the crowd seemed to fade in and out. Nice ending segment with The Bashems and Chavo in a FrogBodypress followed by the Bashem Splash. Good stuff.

The Sable and Cat segment was kinda fun. Bringing out Vince for stuff like this is fine, it's out of the spotlight, it doesn't distract from the upper card boys and it helps get a little heat on the Cat. Vince dancing hurt me.

Rey Mysterio and Jamie Noble worked a match that was WCW 1997 style. Nidia came out with Blind Gear and a fur coat that ruled. Noble dropped Rey stomach first on the top rope, which then let go, Rey bounced up and fell into tehring. That ruled. Twisting Headscissors that rocked from Rey. Rey went for the 619, but Noble pulled the ropes and Rey fell to the outside. Rey reversed a Tiger Driver into a Hurrancanrana for the win. Good match.

Benoit and Chuck Polumbo had a match that was shockingly good and the crowd seemed to enjoy. The match in San Jose seems to have done him a little good as he has been getting better reactions. Polumbo gave a decent little performance as well. Benoit is always good.

Nidia got a chance to do some acting, in Spanish! Rey tried to explain that Jamie Noble is not the guy she thinks he is. I didn't catch much of the Spanish, but I think she said something about a burro.

Rhyno got a little mic time before his match with Farooq, trying to get a forfeit win over Bradshaw. He had a mid-1990s match with Farooq that wasn't great, and there were some boring chants. Rhyno is good, but Vince has not been happy with him for a while now.

Right on so many levels.

By the way, Dawn Marie looked all sorts of mad freakin' hot, and we were noticing that it was pretty cold in the arena.

Shannon Moore stomped on Brock's foot after Lesnar drew his name from the tumbler. He took it to him, brought all sorts of kicks, and had the advantage early, until Brock clotheslined him so hard that he found Jesus. Brock used the Brock Lock for the win.

They did a good job of setting up the Final Fate of Hardcore Holly angle all night. The guy got a decent pop, though it was likely a bit sweetened. The storyline of having Holly tied up with Brock while the guys beat on Shannon Moore was a great concept. They have been booking Brock so well recently.

The match wasn't bad, as it was mostly Shannon getting beaten on, which he is good at, and Shannon getting some good heat for his comebacks. Holly has a great dropkick. Beautiful reverse bulldog off the top rope by Holly onto Morgan. Holly kicking out after the chairshot and the Morganbomb was a great spot and got a nice pop. Holly's win after the Alabama Slam was a nice pop too.

This was a good show, certainly it made more sense than the RAW we got this past weekend. I liked the matches. There was a sense of a going home show, but it was a good going home show.

News
Goldberg is not happy with his position. He tore up the locker room after his match at Armageddon. He met with Vince to talk things out, and they are still not sure if they are gonna be able to, or even want to, sign Goldberg for another year. He's not happy that he's just making his guaranteed money and not the bonus money that he was used to in WCW. I'd say they should make a limited-money, limited schedule deal with movie incentives. They should think about signing Rock to that sort of deal.

By the way, I don't think I've mentioned that this New Year's Eve there is a battle in Japan between three shows. Antonio Inoki is promoting his annual Bom-Ba-Ye shoot show, though this is in danger due to many of the big names backing out. Pride has a show headlined by UFC and MMA legend Royce Gracie. K-1 has a Main Event that I want to see. Sumo Yokozuna Akebono taking on Bob Sapp, brother of Warren Sapp, former footballer, and a huge drawing star in Japan. That match, between two huge Americans who have made their names in Japan, should be awful, but have more heat than any match in the last decade.

FlashBack!
Some things get lame with age. Some lame things become cool again when those who thought they were cool become ultrahip. The WWF WrestleMania game from 1989 or so proves this point.

So lame it's hip?

I got the game for Christmas the year it was released. It was one of those VCR games that were so popular around the time that VCRs made it into a large percentage of homes. Each player is a wrestler, trying to get to the center and pin your opponent. There are spaces where you can jump from the turnbuckles and send your opponent back to square one. It's a simple game, but about every seven squares, there's a Tape space, where you press play on the VCR and they show a clip of a classic match.

The matches are mostly from the 1986-1988 time frame, including Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase, Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant, and Bam Bam Bigilowe against someone I can't remember. They are great segments, each about 20 seconds, and at the end of the snippet, they assign a certain number of spaces, forward or back, to each player. These can make or break a game, as some of them can send you forward as many as twenty spaces.

It's not a great game. As a kid, I thought this was awesome, but it lacks strategy. The game is repetitive, and there is only one videotape, so there's no chance for a different game. They have done better WWF games, like all the card games, but this one is the best example of a game that really is a great representation of the times. You get a better view of the major matches of the 1980s boom period in one game than if you spent hundreds on all the DVDs they'll eventually release.

It's a pre-Mania tradition around the Cortez Compound. WrestleMania day is like Christmas with heavy drinking! I've been fortunate enough to win the last two years and am the reigning champion.

That's another Week of Falls. Next Week, it's all about the Christopher J. Garcia Awards for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Wrestling Excellence.

Chris Garcia