Falls Count Anywhere

09-17-04

Allow me to show you my Difference Engine...

SmackDown!
Torrie opened the show by coming out and showin’ off her fine ass self. She then announced Cena and Booker T for their fourth Best of Five match. The match was solid, though non-amazing. These guys work pretty well together, but they should have been doing an on-going storyline, like Cena’s arm was hurt and Booker kept exploiting it from match to match. Still, Booker was good and Cena did what he had to. Cena is still way over and caught Booker with the FU for the pin in a match that started slow, but I thought it was good enough at the end to make up for it.

Theodore R. Long was backstage with the Big Show. Show got a face pop. They said that Teddy had two contracts: one for a match against Eddie Guerrero, one for a match against Kurt Angle. Nice touch.

They did a commercial for next week’s SmackDown! Fifth Anniversary show, saying that they’d have appearances by Hogan, Foley, Austin, Mr. McMahon, and Stephanie. One of these people is not like the others. One of these people has never drawn a dime.

Michael Cole interviewed Billy Kidman in the ring. He questioned him on not doing the Shooting Star Press. Kidman protested that he could do the Shooting Star Press, but didn’t want to hurt anybody. He then did the old Cactus Jack ‘You people are a bunch of animals’ line and Paul London showed up. London jawed and eventually slapped Kidman. Kidman just walked out. This is weird, but yet another example of the WWE using real life to play an angle. This one is being slightly better done than most attempts.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio faced the Dudleys in a match that was good, but was really there to get over Spike’s grip on D-Von and Bubba. Rey did his good stuff, and RVD continued a streak of not looking too bad. He really does work smartly with D-Von. The two of them have wrestled about 50 times. Solid match with Rey giving a big plancha to Bubba on the outside after D-Von knocked Spike. I think that’s what happened, since I was distracted by my weekly beef jerkey purchase. RVD hit his Five Star Frog Splash for the pin. Spike got in the ring and yelled at D-Von, finally kickin’ him in the creflo. He then turned his attention to Bubba, who held up his hands in a No Mas position. Good stuff.

Eddie and Big show did a little segment where Eddie said that he wanted Show to sign his contract.

Wasn't this scene in The Chronicles of Riddick?

The segment that I had been looking least forward to had to be the JBL vs. Undertaker face-off. You see, I was a big fan of the WWF in the late 1990s, and this was one of the few things that I didn’t like coming back: The Ministry. Orlando Jordan said that JBL shouldn’t call out the Undertaker, but of course he did. After JBL and UT faced off and fought a little, Viscera and Gangrel came out with Jordan and beat on UT until he did the sit-up. JBL ran off and UT got a few licks in before getting the Clothesline from Hell which allowed the former Ministry to clean house. This is how you bring mid-card older guys back.

The FBI took on Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree, the World Tag Team Champs. This was an OK match, but Dupree used the Michinoku Driver II to get the pin. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the Michinoku Driver I.

John Heidenreich had Michael Cole pinned up against the wall. This looked gayer than Troy. He was intimidating him and later read him a poem. Paul Lynde called from the grave to complain that this was just a little too queer.

Spike Dudley took on Charlie Haas in a match between two of my more favorite over-looked SmackDown! guys. They had a decent little match, which became great TV because Jacky looked as hot as any diva ever to come to the WWE. Man, she was smokin’! Spike got tossed outside and D-Von jumped Haas to get the DQ, but Rico returned when they were about to whip Charlie with a belt and cleared the ring.

The contract signing was next. Big Show came out and sat at a table while Kurt and Eddie pleaded their cases. Kurt did an awesome promo saying that no one wanted to see Kurt vs. Big Show, which is probably true. Eddie said that he should sign the contract for him and get it over with. Big Show signed the Eddie contract, and Luther and Kurt jumped Eddie. Show then ripped up the Eddie contract and signed the Kurt contract. Luther jumped Show, Show and Eddie cleared the ring, including Big Show throwing a table at Luther outside. They announced the Luther and Kurt vs. Eddie and Show match for next week and we’re out.

I liked this show, though there wasn’t enough great wrestling.

NEWS
The big news is the fight between Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero at the SmackDown! tapings. There are a bunch of layers to this one, too. Eddie came out for his run-in early, which messed up the flow of Kurt’s match, so when they got through the curtain, Kurt railed on Eddie and Eddie lunged at him. I’ve also heard that Kurt smacked Eddie. Kurt has heat because he’s buddy-buddy with the writers and keeps telling folks to give them time to turn things around. Eddie’s head hasn’t been in the game since he dropped the World Title after a reign that didn’t give him much hope of regaining the belt, not to mention the stress of being champ. He had that blackout last week that is a part of things. He probably needs a little time off and to come back with a big push to reinvigorate him.

I forgot to mention on Tuesday that the Lucha world lost another legend when the original Dr. Wagner died. He was in his 70s, if not early 80s. His sons still wrestle: one as Dr. Wagner jr., the other as Black Tiger or Silver King. Dr. Wagner’s team with Angel Blanco was one of the best ever.

FlashBack!
The greatest team not in the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame has to be the Fabulous Freebirds. Every year, people say that, and every year they miss the cut. There’s no question that they changed the course of tag team wrestling.

The Freebirds came together in 1979 in the Georgia Territory. At first it was just Michael P.S. Hayes and Terry Gordy. They were really successful early on, rising through the ranks quickly. They won the Mid-South Tag Titles in November of 79, and held them for more than six months. During that period, the Freebirds started their famous feud with Junkyard Dog.

Big enough for action figures...

JYD was the Louisana star, selling out huge crowds for him matches against everyone. The Freebirds threw an ‘abrasive powder’ into the Dog’s eyes, which supposed blinded him. This led to a huge build-up for a series of Dog Collar matches. These matches sold out everywhere they went and made Dog one of the top draws in the world at the time.

They made a huge impact on Georgia Championship wrestling. There was a huge feud between the Assassins and Mr. Wrestling I and II. They were set for a big match at the Omni, but earlier on the show, the Freebirds showed up: Buddy Jack Roberts and Terry Gordy with Michael Hayes acting as manager. They demanded a show, with Hayes doing one of his all-time best interviews. The Freebirds got the shot and won the titles, which were probably the number three tag belt in the world at the time. The team kept belts, though they introduced one of their best gimmicks. Any two of the three Freebirds could defend the title at any time. Much like the recent ‘The Dudley’ gimmick, they’d often not decide until they were at ringside.

In 1981, the team broke up, with Hayes becoming the face as Gordy started teaming with Jimmy Superfly Snuka, then a huge and violent heel. Gordy and Hayes had a great feud that ended when Hayes convinced Gordy to join him on the side of good.

Their best run might have begun on December 25th, 1982. The Freebirds had entered Von Erich territory: World Class Championship Wrestling. The Freebirds came in as faces, being very good friends to the Von Erichs. In an early match on the card, Gordy and Hayes won the World Class Six Man titles with David Von Erich. In the main event, Flair took on Kerry Von Erich, and Terry Gordy did the run-in to slam the cage on Kerry’s head. That started the Freebirds vs. Von Erichs war that lasted for years and drew huge crowds.

The boys wrestled all over the world, including Japan for All Japan Pro-Wrestling, in Europe for Otto Wanz’s Catch Wrestling, and in the AWA, where they fought the Road Warriors in a solid feud. They ended up in the UWF, which is what the Mid-South promotion run by Bill Watts became. They were the number one rulebreakers in the territory and Michaels Hayes became a commentator. They worked there for a few years, and in WCW when Crockett bought the UWF, until it was time to move back to World Class and give the promotion one last run.

There they did a few great angles, but it was also there that the Freebirds began to get watered down. They added Iceman King Parsons to the mix while Hayes and Gordy were feuding. They did the famous angles in World Class that renewed the Von Erich rivalries, but they pretty much died out.

Hayes got a good push in the NWA, working with guys like Lex Luger. Gordy focused on Japan and became one of All Japan’s biggest stars. Buddy Roberts became the manager of the Samoan SWAT Team. The Freebirds weren’t heard from often until 1989 when Hayes started teaming with Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin.

The Garvin Freebirds weren’t a draw like the originals, but Garvin was a talented worker. They did OK for a number of years and then Garvin retired to become a US Air Pilot. Gordy came back to WCW with Steve Dr. Death Williams to win the tag team titles and feud with the Steiners. I don’t know what happened to Buddy Roberts. I do know that Michael Hayes went to the WWF in the late 1990s as Doc Hendrix, but eventually they wised-up and started calling him Michael Hayes. He’s still a big part of the creative team.

It’s easy to see that the Freebirds would be first ballot Hall of Famers if they had only stayed together and not let Garvin or Parsons be called Freebirds. Still, I’d say that they revolutionized Six-Man tags in a way that hadn’t been seen before, much like the Kangaroos did in the 1950s and 60s, and they were a team that had various incarnations as well. They really should get in.

That’s all for this week. More next, including a look at the Junkyard Dog.

Chris Garcia