Hey, remember last week I was complaining about Stray? And the lack of continuity that might have brought another mention of Julian Luthor, who has not been mentioned again since that episode?

Well, lo and behold, continuity reared its ugly, ugly head last night, bringing back both mind-reading Ryan and Super-surrogate Warrior Angel, but still no Julian. Even when it might have been appropriate.

Ugly really is the word. Last week's episode may have been good beyond the sore spots, but this episode was just bad. Hamfisted, muddy, and lackluster in all ways, it was amazingly also NOT redeemed by a lack of glowy-green goodness.

Clark rescues Ryan, his adopted little brother of approximately four days last season, from a life of extensive testing at a Metropolis research institute. He has a tumor in his brain that is slowly killing him and probably causing his telepathic abilities. Again, despite all the whining and problems I've had with the kryptonite crutch, it would have made perfect sense for the initial tumor to be somehow meteor-related. Even though it was never clear if Ryan was a Smallville native, his age is just about right to have been affected in utero by the meteor shower if he was. Instead there's something about the experiments causing the tumor, which makes no sense if the tumor is causing the telepathy, and well, it didn't really matter in the end.

Oh, yes, note the past tense. Poor Ryan does die, despite Clark running 425 miles to Hub City to stop a famous doctor from flying to Europe for six weeks and convincing him to bring his experimental serum to Smallville instead. He's absolutely determined, despite Lex's warning that you cannot save everyone, and sometimes the best thing to do during a person's last days is to spend it with them, rather than trying to save them.

Like your baby brother, Lex? Oh, no, sorry. Just like Lex's mother, whom he couldn't save either, not even with great doctors, and he regrets wasting that time trying. The operation buys Ryan a few more days, so Clark takes him up in a hot air balloon to die, where he's free from the loud thoughts intruding into his head.

I guess the balloon operator's thoughts weren't significantly intrusive. (I have been corrupted. It's a rainbow balloon.) Also, Clark is afraid of flying. Right, of course he is; the no-flying edict. What a clever way to ensure that Clark won't be developing his powers beyond the scope of the effects budget.

There are a few legal threats bandied about, including "your life is going under the microscope" - so prevalent in the promos, but none of them provide any kind of dramatic tension for more than a few minutes. Lex pulls strings to have temporary custody of Ryan granted to the Kents (after Ryan's aunt from Edge City signed custody over to the evil doctors) and then the issue's not brought up again. Dr. Garner and his research cronies don't make another appearance. And why not?

Nell and her fiancé have decided to move to Metropolis, without consulting Lana. She's not happy, and starts researching emancipation to try to stay in Smallville. She and Clark have a conversation that almost borders on subtle, about how fortunate they've been, despite being orphaned. Then she kinda ruins it by actually saying something direct.

Though Nell's claim as Lana's legal guardian (and actual adoptive parent, if I remember correctly) could be challenged if Henry Small turns out to be Lana's biological father, that's not a step Lana's willing to take. So she decides to stay with Chloe and her father until the end of high school. (Which is when, again? What the hell grade are these kids in? Are they all the same age? Are we talking two and half years, or only one and a half? ARGH.)

The Warrior Angel parallels are even less subtle, both in the nods to existing Superman mythos, and to the current path of Clark and Lex. Warrior Angel's nemesis, Devilicus, was actually a former friend, who wanted the two of them to join forces to rule the world. Lex theorizes that Devilicus didn't realize he was going bad until it was too late; that the way to darkness is "a journey, not a lightswitch." I think, however, with a name like Devilicus, that probably ought to have been his first freaking clue.

Ow, my aching head. The cover of Warrior Angel #1 is very familiar, too. All right, we GET it. This sucked out loud.

But all was redeemed, for next week brings the triumphant return of Jonathan Taylor Thomas to network television! Bring it on, JTT! Whoo! I always do like this show better when I don't take it seriously, and this pretty much guarantees I won't. (Also, that I'll have to take back the kudos I heaped on the guest star casting.)

Sarah Stanek