In between a cliff and a hanger, we leave for the summer on the same uninspired note we came in on. Or do we?

Was it just me, or was that whole hour just kind of off? When a show so ponderous, so laborious, so meticulous in its plot development all of a sudden packs so much into one episode, it means one of only a few things: lousy, sloppy planning, a sudden shift in paradigm, or we're totally being had.

Not that I'm necessarily betting on the latter, but I just want it clear that if we all jolt back into reality in the first few episodes of next season, with the majority of this finale and whatever the premiere brings being revealed as an elaborate Kryptonian mindgame, I called it here and now. At 9:38 pm on Tuesday, to be precise. Just in case.

So much happened so fast, it was hard to keep up with how everything fit together in a cohesive timeline. I'm still not convinced it fit together at all, actually, but let's take it person by person.

Chloe: Gone over to the dark side, in a ferocious snit about Clark and Lana, and the fact that they didn't tell her about their newfound luuuuuuurve.

Despite the fact that it had been maybe a day or two at most, and it's not like either of them had been flaunting it, she's given up on the both of them and taken Lionel's offer of prestige, fame, and spying on Clark.

Chloe makes me tired. It's a believable response, and an interesting direction for the character with lots of possibilities for the coming seasons, but that doesn't make it less infuriating.

Lex: He admits he stole the vial of blood from Helen's office, and she storms off, justifiably so. But then she mysteriously returns, they still love one another, and the wedding progresses as planned.

They escape on a LuthorCorp jet for a honeymoon, but Lex passes out after the champagne toast, and when he wakes up, he's totally alone. No Helen, no pilots, and a whole lot of water rushing right up at him.

This right here? This makes no sense, and when she went walking down the aisle is about when I started wondering what the odds were on this whole thing being a dream. Their reconciliation was too pat, even for shoddy writing, and the cursory attention paid to the wedding felt wrong. Lex's fake wedding to the Hot-for-Teacher got more screen time, and she was nothing but a krypto-freak.

Lionel: Plans to unlock the secrets of the caves with a synthetic octagon made from pure glowy green meteor rock, the only substance available on earth that is anything like the original. Is mildly perturbed that the rock is somehow stolen, but not interested enough to pursue that particular mystery.

Pete: Loyal to the last, he distracts Lionel so Clark can speed in to steal the krypto-key. But why?

Clark: Because the space ship, independent of the octagon, is starting to make demands on the last son of Krypton. Jor-El demands that Clark put Smallville behind him and go forward in his journey.

At sundown the next day, the ship takes umbrage to Clark's resistance and burns a very familiar symbol into his chest -- at just about the moment I think the potential dream sequence could have begun.

Also, the S-shield is kind of ugly and it looks like an 8.

Because he really really doesn't want to go, Clark guesses that Lionel's kryptonite key might destroy the ship and remove the pressure to go be something he isn't willing to be. (A very apt parallel to human adolescence, almost totally unexplored.) Which it does, oh, boy howdy.

Good thing Lionel didn't put it to use in the caves; that kind of collapse would probably have caused a lot more damage than the implosion of the storm cellar did.

Martha: Injured in the blast, which flips the Kent truck over -- again, in a suspiciously unexplored parallel -- and she loses the miracle superbaby. Which makes me think hmm, maybe this won't all be a dream, but that's about the only thing on the side of reality.

Jonathan: Upset but not unreasonably so with Clark, and devastated for his family's loss. Clark, being a teenager, probably interprets this in all the wrong ways (all my fault, and they're sad because they could have had a real kid and it's my fault, did I mention it's my fault?) and decides to leave town.

But since the real Clark couldn't do that, he needs the help of Big Red. Rummaging in Chloe's office until he finds a class ring, he's ready to go and be anyone but Clark Kent for awhile. He's hellbent for Metropolis when Jor-El's voice echoes ominously over the closing credits: "You will obey me, Kal-El."

There's absolutely no reason some of this couldn't have been addressed or even initiated in episodes prior to the last one.

Aside from the baby (and the inclusion of the red K rings) all of the major plot points weren't even part of the show until last week. Of course sloppy planning is the most obvious answer to this disjointed, strangely paced season ender, but remember, if it's all a dream, something Jor-El is doing only in Clark's mind to test him or whatever, you heard it here first.

And let's not forget...

Lana: Predictably heartbroken. Poor girl didn't watch the first two seasons of Dawson's Creek. Early Dawson and Joey moments would have larned her good. Speaking of the dearly defunct Crick, Smallville will take its place in the Wednesday 8pm timeslot next season, followed by Angel. Smallville: Beginnings will air Sundays at 7pm.

That's summer, y'all. Sound off early and often in our forum, and tell us: is this for real, or do we really have to unravel all these threads into a coherent narrative come October? Is that even possible?

Sarah Stanek