Somebody save me. The theme song gets better and better every week, or maybe it's the episodes that get worse in comparison.

Because the producers have decided to play fast and loose with the timeframe of this show, setting in some permanently temperate soundstage climate, this one started out with a Rave in a Cave. The Caves, to my dismay, are becoming an increasingly integral part of this show's Super mythos, and the secrets they hold unfold a little more each week.

If only I cared, I would be thrilled at the teasing enjoyment this represents. What can I say? I'm no uber-fanboy, but I'm still a bit of a purist when it comes to my Superman stories.

This week's secret is a mysterious parasite that attaches to the adrenal gland; X-treme symptoms include fearlessness, recklessness, and a propensity for death defiance. Most of the rave-based victims end up dead within a day or two, but not bad Pete.

He gets an accomplice about halfway through in bad Chloe. Together they are the ultimate rotten influence, with the added advantage of knowing Clark's weaknesses. And the moment red kryptonite Clark grins and lets bad Chloe in on his super-secret, I knew it was going to be one of those. Another meaningless 30 minutes of id and amusement that would mean exactly nothing 30 minutes later.

Not that I'm against putting Chloe in the loop, but realistically, it can't happen yet. Talk to me again in the fourth season if I haven't already been committed to an institution, blathering on about continuity and cheekbones.

So the bad trio bads it around so Clark can break Lana's heart, again, making out with Chloe in the Talon. Clark comes to in the middle of it, when Chloe takes off the shirt with the meteor rock in the pocket (my contact lenses blurred here in self defense) but it's much too late to save things with Lana.

Evidently it's worse this time because Clark, prior to going all red and glowy, had finally (!) asked Lana out on a real date. And because she's evidently never watched television, she really believed this was all going to work out right.

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh here, but I feel I'm in the right. Lana is perfectly aware that Clark has had feelings for Chloe in the past, and is equally aware of how Chloe feels about him. Seeing them together probably shouldn't be such a shock to the system, but it's convenient enough for now, even if it won't last.

Once Chloe and Pete are de-bugged, they don't remember anything, so Lana is willing to forgive Chloe but not Clark. Because he can't explain about the red kryptonite, of course, and therefore has no excuse. But Lana can't tell Chloe exactly why she's mad at Clark, because Chloe won't remember, but Chloe is smart so she can totally tell anyway. Which leads to nothing but more passive aggressive nonsense, so at least I can be sort of thankful that these pissy resolutions of Lana's to be mad at Clark seldom last.

I have my hopes for this one, though, and that maybe the extensive kissyface with Chloe, bad or no, will give Clark pause the next time he looks longingly across the street at shiny hair. It's not terribly de rigeur to let "will-they-won't-they" relationships drag out too long, but this could delay that inevitable hookup a little while longer, in an undeniably positive way.

Thankfully this one wasn't all krypto-nonsense and X-treme sports.

After the Cave Rave, Lex develops some concern for his pet project beyond occasionally caressing the eight-sided hole. He hires an expert linguist to decipher the cave paintings, an academic professional who's more archaeologist than "cunning linguist" -- don't blame me, blame bad Chloe, she said it first. He's an asshole either way, and comes up with absolutely NO new information.

It's new to Lex, of course; the adrenal eating creature has alien DNA, the cave paintings are very mysterious, the work is fascinating and there's still nothing new for the audience. I like internal continuity as much as the next fanboy, but I'm ready for the next step in this little story arc, already, even if Lex isn't.

No, I haven't given up hope just yet. I've put forth plenty of ideas that would make the show more worth my while; Clark with Chloe for a while, new developments on the Kryptonian tip, even if they come from the caves, more LuthorCorp goodness, more of Martha and Jonathan investigating the Luthors in return, and that's just off the top of my head.

Does Brother Luthor fit in to that master plan? (Presumably this is the mysterious brother raised by Lionel, not the deceased Julian, but who knows?) Tune in next time to find out...

Sarah Stanek