Even small towns with aliens, radioactive green rocks and a variety of super-powered freaks get dull pretty quickly. As a result, Smallville has quite the underground gambling scene. Hey, people need their excitement.

One of the town’s biggest bookies is a foreign exchange student named Mikhail. In an attempt to increase her college fund (what, no shot at a Luthorcorp scholarship?), Chloe becomes involved with him. She gives him $80 to bet on the Crows, despite his recommendation to vote against them.

As Mikhail watches the football game he mouths instructions toward the players and they unwillingly and unknowingly must do what he says. Even Clark trips at his command and ends up injuring a player from the opposing team.

Chloe and Mikhail get close as he shows her Smallville’s underground gambling scene under the condition that he remains anonymous in her article. He is also kind enough to give her some tips and she wins big in the city. When it comes time to write the article, Mikhail changes his mind and decides he does not want it to be written at all. Instead, he commands a kiss from Chloe and spikes the piece.

Clark remains perplexed by his stumble on the field. Since he never tripped before (at least, not in THIS episode), he can’t understand why it would happen now. When he tells Chloe, she immediately blames it on Mikhail. Yay for the conclusion jumping that always turns out right. As Chloe explains it to Clark, she didn’t want to follow Mikhail’s orders, but her body just went against her own mind. They never explain what happens if one tries to disobey Mikhail’s orders. Would one simply be physically unable to do it? Would there be pain at the mere attempt of disobedience? Would one join Pete Ross in the cornfield?

Meanwhile, Lex invites Mikhail to his home for an interview. As it turns out, Mikhail is in the States as part of a foreign exchange program funded by Lionel Luthor. What Lex can’t figure out is why Mikhail caught the eye of Lionel. He does not appear to have any visible talents; he is actually kind of a bum, and his grades are simply average. Lex threatens him with deportation, but Mikhail offers to make a bet. He promises Lex that he does have hidden talents. The two bet on high school football. If the Crows lose, Mikhail gets to remain in the states along with a million dollars. To make sure that he doesn’t lose his bet, Mikhail pays Clark a visit.

Because the Internet holds the answers to all questions, Clark and Chloe decide to Google “Mxzyzptlk.” Alas, nothing shows up for “Mxzyptlk,” but something comes up for “Kltpyzxm.” But, wait! That’s his name backwards! In a few clicks they find themselves on a web page that explains all. The Kltpyzxm is a cursed group from some little village in some part of Russia that has mind control powers. Fortunately, there is a way to stop the evil puppet masters: a plague of locusts.

Now it’s time for the fun scientific explanation. Basically, a swarm of locusts is able to communicate through brain waves. If the waves are somehow jammed, the locusts are unable to communicate and chaos ensues. And once these waves have been jammed, they can never be unjammed. So then, plague of locusts + Kltpyzxm = wave mess for all.

As luck and a rare moment of show continuity would have it, Chloe has an uncle who is in the military and has access to all sorts of cool toys. So during the big game Chloe hooks up a device used for stealth fighters to the P.A. system and the wave jamming begins. Mikhail realizes what is going on and finds Chloe. He then warns Clark that if he doesn’t throw the game Chloe is dead. So in the final play of the game Clark uses his speed to: 1. make a great pass, 2. find Chloe, 3. untie her, 4. smack Mikhail out of the way, 5. get back to the game so quickly that no one was any wiser.

Interestingly enough, Mikhail does not get deported. Instead the last we see of him is Lex taking him to floor 33.1 and tells him that he is not alone. Lex also does something else by the end of the episode. He gets Jason fired by exposing his relationship with Lana. His reasons for getting Jason fired are unclear, as it was definitely not to protect Lana nor to help out Clark.

Tonight’s episode seemed sort of rushed and half hearted. The main plot wasn’t really very interesting and none of the ongoing plots were developed. A guy who has mind control powers and chooses to mostly hang around in Smallville to place bets on high school games is just not that exciting. At least they cut down on the teen drama and well, there’s always next Wednesday. I hear it might involve Lois.

Honda Dimitriu