What would you do if you were faster than a speeding bullet? Well, you’d be Clark Kent. But what if you were faster than that? Then you’d be The Flash and instead of pining over Lana Lang you’d be a traveling petty thief. You’d also be a pretty nice guy…

As Clark and his dad are walking down the street from the hospital a drunk truck driver is about to run into Pa Kent. Clark is not fast enough to get to his father in time, but fortunately Bart Allen (a.k.a. The Flash) just happens to be in the area after wrapping up a bit of theft. He not only pushes Jonathan out of the way, but he also steals his wallet. A good Samaritan with a twist…

Clark tries unsuccessfully to catch him, but comes home to find Bart having lunch at the Kents’ table. Apparently, if you steal a wallet and confess to superpowers you can earn a welcome spot in the Kent kitchen. Clark learns that Bart, despite his thieving, isn’t such a bad guy after all. He’s got a good heart, but he just took the wrong road for a while. He steals to survive and tries not to hurt anyone in the process. During his free time Bart enjoys hitting on Chloe and quickly learns that Clark is really into Lana and is not a fan of the kryptonite.

In the meantime, Lex makes an investment in a page from a 14th century manuscript. Interestingly enough, the borders of this page bear similar markings to those in the caves. Lex places the page under high security and shows Clark. Using his x-ray vision Clark discovers that a map (at least that’s what he thinks) is hidden underneath. Bart follows Clark on his little visit and is very incredulous of Clark’s relationship with Lex. He also appears to be incredulous of Lex’s car collection and other goodies. Oh, the temptation.

Clark is intrigued by the signs on the page and sneaks back in to Lex’s for a second look. Perhaps it would have been much easier if Clark had simply asked Lex to take another glance, but that is just not Clark’s way. Clark breaks in and as he is about to study the page, Bart enters and steals the valuable artifact. Alarms go off, security guards swarm, and Lex walks in. He believes Clark when he says he was just coming by to say hello and promises that he’ll catch speedy thief.

Bart takes his new acquisition to his fence, but alas, it’s a trap! Lex comes to claim what is rightfully his. A scuffle ensues, Lex is knocked unconscious with a pistol, and Clark comes to the rescue. It’s not quite so much of a rescue, though, because Bart just happens have a little box of kryptonite handy.

To his credit, Bart was completely unaware that with enough exposure kryptonite would kill Clark. So once Clark wheezes an explanation to him, Bart removes the kryptonite. At about this point everyone ends up alright. Lex is ok. Clark is ok. Even the puzzling 14th century page is returned to Lex mysteriously. Lex is completely unaware of any Clark/Bart action (ooh slash fiction!) since he was unconscious the entire time.

Clark has grown so fond of Bart by this time that he asks Bart to stay with him. It’s actually kind of a cool moment. It’s very obvious that they both really like each other and have never met anyone so similar. Ok, sure Clark has met his fair share of kryptonite freaks with superpowers, but Bart is different. Bart is actually sane and very likeable. Bart tells Clark that he has to go his own way despite the allure of Smallville. Oh, that was sarcasm by the way. Bart suggests that he’ll stay if Clark can catch him.

Call me some kind of a sucker, but the race was kind of cute. As we know by now, Bart is much faster than Clark. Bart speeds up ahead of Clark and turns to run backward to wave goodbye. Awww.

Honda Dimitriu