When I started watching Smallville last night I thought maybe I was watching the opening scene of A View to a Kill, but then I realized that James Bond was actually a little brat in a pink ski suit. The pink suit is being chased by a few security types. I’m not sure why I even mention this since the opening scene doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the rest of the show.

The show should have just started with Lana’s apartment getting ransacked. What a shocker that the stone was stolen. More shocking than that is Lana’s reaction. She decides that she and Jason should just forget about the stone, the countess, and whatever else because they need to start focusing on making out more.

It makes sense because who really needs to worry about getting randomly possessed by a witch? Forget about it!

Anyway, Lucy, the ski bunny, turns out to be Lois’ little sister who comes to visit. It’s quickly obvious that the two don’t really like each other. Lucy seems to be a bizarro Lois and it’s easy not to like her.

Apparently, she had gone off to boarding school to be a perfect little princess who plays the violin and skis a lot. On her first night with the Kents she sneaks out, not without waking Clark, and breaks into the Talon to steal money. Nice girl, that one. When Clark catches her she gives some ridiculous sob story about having to spend a lot of money to be accepted by all the other brats at boarding school. She was quite the heavy spender and now she owes $50,000 to a German loan shark named Marcus Becker.

They turn to Lex for help because spoiled brats always need to have someone bail them out. I have to mention that somewhere around this point there was an emergency missing child report that interrupted the show so I think I missed an explanation or two about the drop off. Lex agrees to help, but only because he wants to capture Marcus Becker and use him as leverage in a deal of his own. It rapidly becomes obvious that the whole thing is a setup. Lex, Lois, and Lucy take off in Lex’s car with a suitcase full of money. Lex is pulled over by a cop who is actually Marcus Becker in disguise. Marcus takes the money, the car, and kidnaps Lucy and Lois as well.

Now with Lucy, Lois, and the car in the back of a huge semi truck, Marcus is asking for more than just $50,000. Instead, he wants $500,000 for the both of them. Due to a slip of the tongue on Marcus’ part, Lois also figures out that Lucy is in on it. There’s a bit of tearing up and a lot of whining and we learn that Lucy was always jealous of Lois because their dad always loved her more. I’m not really sure how that makes a rich princess turn to a life of crime, but I don’t question these things.

Clark overhears Marcus’ phone call to Lex regarding the new drop off and takes off at super speed to rescue Lois and Lucy. By the time Lex and his men arrive Marcus is knocked out in the cabin of the truck. Lex might want to consider hiring more competent security guys because his current ones are incapable of keeping a one hundred pound girl from escaping. That’s right. Lucy hops into the stolen car and just takes off. I was so rooting for that little brat to get dragged in to the authorities. Ah well, perhaps on another show.

That about wraps it up except for two more things. Lana catches Jason trying to intimidate Lionel to give him the stone. She starts crying about this and I don’t know why since it appears that she’s the one who took the stone and hid it outside of her apartment. Also, Lionel informs Lex that Jason took the stone while they were in China. I hope Lex has Jason beaten up in the next episode. That boy is starting to annoy me with his pretty boy features and his Lana whipped ways.

Honda Dimitriu