Old maps, ancient Chinese temples, torture chambers, body snatching witches! Indiana Jones? No, Smallville! What will they think of next?

Okay, here’s the rundown and I’ll try to make it as brief as possible because honestly, there’s not much for me to comment on. Well, I suppose I can comment on plenty, but it will feel more like a long complaint rather than any kind of a review.

Professor Swann dies, but not before sending Clark one of the cave stones. In the cave, Clark snaps the stone in place and is greeted by his father, who tells him that he must find all the other stones and unite them. If some greed driven human gets to them first it will mean ultimate destruction for all of mankind.

Or something to that effect.

Meanwhile, Jason uses the map Lionel gave him to seek out the stone in Shanghai. Lex follows him, of course. Jason neglects to tell Lana of his little excursion and when she finds out she’s none too pleased. Of course, Lana is never pleased about anything these days. As luck would have it Lionel supplies her with a Luthorcorp jet, a map of the temple, and the name of a contact to boot.

Clark tags along with Lana since he also needs to find the stone. Lana whines some on the plane. She’s good at that.

Lex and Jason get kidnapped by some Chinese military looking fellows and taken to a cell in the temple. It was all supposed to be a setup to get Jason to talk, but someone with more money than Lex bought off the captors and so now they both get tortured. A good time with electrocution ensues.

Clark and Lana get to the temple with the aid of Lionel’s contact. I didn’t catch her name, but she dies soon after so I suppose she doesn’t really need one. Lana and the lady go explore the temple while Clark uses his x-ray vision to discover a mask and some kind of outfit that bears the same design as the map. Unfortunately, the mask has Kryptonite eyes and Clark is unable to do much more than writhe on the floor until some soldiers move him away.

Lana is captured by the soldiers and the lady is killed. Our heroine is taken kicking and screaming to the torture chamber where they are keeping Lex and Jason. As soon as they start electrocuting her Isabel takes over. As if she would allow any harm to come to the vessel she is using. Clark runs in and she zaps him. She informs them all that the map isn’t really a map to the temple at all and takes off.

Clark wakes up and shows Lex and Jason his find, being careful to stay away. Clark figures out that the map is actually a drawing of a tree and the temple just happens to be in the background. The stone is actually located at the base of the tree. With super speed he arrives just as Isabel has unearthed the stone.

Instead of grabbing it and continuing on his merry way he decides to stop in front of her so she can zap him some more and reclaim the stone. I think he just likes getting beaten up by girls. They end up inside the temple and have a sword fight. It all comes to an end when they both touch the stone and get knocked out. It seems that whenever Clark and Isabel touch the stone simultaneously, they both pass out. They wake up to find the stone gone, but Jason and Lex are there.

It turns out that Jason was able to grab the stone while Clark was still knocked out and before Lex came in. Back in Smallville, Jason proves how smart he is. He’s well aware of the fact that Isabel wants him and his family dead. He’s well aware that she wants the stones for some evil plans. He’s well aware that Isabel can manifest herself anytime using Lana’s body. So what does he do? He gives the stone to Lana. That’s right. Brilliant! I can’t wait to see where that goes.

Also, there was some hinting that it’s quite possible the stones were not necessarily meant for Clark. If this is true that would make this whole plot line even more preposterous than it already is. If the stones have little to do with Clark’s destiny why is all this time being wasted on this story line? Please, make it stop. Please?

I think next week’s episode is going to follow the tried and true freak of the week formula. Thank Rao.

Honda Dimitriu