Why oh why are so many precious Lex moments being wasted on this Countess stuff?

I know, I know. I complain about this every week, but I’m hoping someone will hear me. Lex has become so scarce on the show and on the rare occasion that we do see him he’s tangled up in all that Buffy the Vampire Slayer junk. What could possibly make them think it would work on Smallville?

I’ll get the Countess stuff over with now so I don’t have to worry about bringing it up again later. Apparently, Gertrude, an ancestor of Jason, is responsible for the demise of the Countess. The Countess swore to rise again and kill all of Gertrude’s descendants. This really makes me wonder why Genevieve did her best to bring Jason and Lana together and eventually get Lana possessed. I’d wonder a little more, but I don’t think I really care. Maybe in the season finale the Countess can come back and kill off everyone involved in that ludicrous Buffy plotline. Actually, why wait until the season finale? How does next week’s episode sound?

That said...Clark gets a dog this week. I don’t know why he didn’t have one already seeing as how dogs are pretty much standard on farms, but at least he has one now. There really isn’t much else to say about this episode. Standing plotlines were not developed and new ones were not introduced. Although, they are definitely making a show of Chloe doing her best to eventually make Clark comfortable enough with her to reveal his secret.

This concerns me a little. We already know that Chloe’s family has a history of women going insane and ending up in the loony bin. In addition, everyone who finds out Clark’s secret ends up dead OR in the asylum. The odds stacked against Chloe are not looking good.

I’ve been avoiding talking about what happens in the episode, but I can’t put it off any longer. I didn’t dislike the episode. The dog and Lois were very cute, but nothing terribly exciting happened. It starts out with two brothers sending a pair of dogs into a convenience store for a robbery. One of the dogs, Einstein, is obviously not happy with what he is being forced to do. Hercules, on the other hand, seems quite a bit meaner. He goes through a steel door to attack the owner who ends up in a coma.

Einstein decides it’s time to runaway and ends up getting hit by Lois in her SUV. Of course, he’s uninjured due to his crazy Kryptonite superdog strength. I hope I’m not giving away anything too soon, but Kryptonite is almost always responsible for any super powers in Smallville.

Clark discovers the dog’s strength and falls instantly in love. What could be better for Clark than man’s best friend with extra strength? Clark and Lois bicker about what to name the dog. Clark wants to name the golden retriever Skippy because, well, Clark is a big dork. Lois wants to name him Clarky because she finds the dog to be a little annoying as he makes her sneeze quite a bit. They take him to the shelter to scan the implanted chip. And GASP! the guy at the front desk is one of the two guys that robbed the convenience store.

It turns out that the dog belonged to Luthorcorp at some point. One of the labs was trying to create super strength in dogs using meteor rocks. They weren’t able to or did not want to make the effects permanent, however. Clark and Lois take Clarky home, but only after Clark leaves his address with Josh, the bad guy. Of course, Josh and his villainous brother want to reclaim Clarky and send in Hercules to get him later that night. After being repeatedly taunted, poor Hercules has some major aggression issues and attacks Jonathan. Fortunately, Clarky was around to protect him before running toward the sound of the whistle.

After reading about the incident with the convenience store owner, Lois figures that the guy at the shelter must have had something to do with it. She and Clark break into the shelter to discover a Luthorcorp truck pay route and a robbery in progress. So yadda yadda yadda Clark ends up in the back of the truck with the two dogs, the money, and a whole bunch of Kryptonite. Clark releases Clarky, but becomes incapacitated due to the Kryptonite.

When the two brothers discover Clark they lock him up and plan on burning the truck with Clark and Hercules inside. As the truck starts to burn Clarky goes through the flames to free Clark (by pushing the release button with his nose), but being the valiant dog that he is he also releases Hercules who runs off. Clarky is now stuck behind the flames and now it’s Clark’s turn to save him. He gets Clarky off the truck just in time before it explodes. Yay.

By the end of the show they decide to keep the dog and rename him Shelby. I’m glad they put a dog on the show. That farm needed a dog!

Honda Dimitriu