After several seasons of building up toward Clark finally obtaining his dream of playing football it had to happen that at long last he decides not to play. Of course, it takes a psychotic football player to convince him, but whatever works, right?

It all starts out pleasantly enough with a pajama-clad Lois outdrinking a pair of football players at a Metropolis University party. How a 120 pound girl can manage to do that is completely beyond me. Could it be that Lois has some freak powers of her own? Immunity to alcohol doesn’t seem like a terribly cool power, however. After emasculating the two of them she heads home. The player who did not throw up, Cooper, follows her in search of a goodnight kiss. Lois kicks him in the gut and leaves. Naturally, she’s surprised the following morning when police show up at her door to arrest her because Cooper is in a state of paralysis.

After posting bail by credit card, Lois heads to Smallville -- where else? She informs Chloe and Clark of her misfortune only to head back to Met U with Chloe to investigate the strange circumstances.

Meanwhile, Clark is being recruited to Met U by Geoff, the Teflon Tailback, formerly of Smallville. Geoff whisks Clark away to Met U to begin the real recruitment process. This of course involves a welcome (or is it persuasion?) committee consisting of cake and cheerleaders. It also involves some rather slutty sorority girls.

During scenes like this I really have to question Clark’s sexual orientation. He’s in a room with two very willing girls undressing for him and he rejects them. Maybe the ability to resist somewhat attractive skanky chicks is another one of his superpowers.

I suppose it’s just as well because using his X-ray vision he realizes that Lois is hiding in the closet. He sends the girls away for cake. Getting rejected for cake (not even beer!) must hurt the delicate ego of any red blooded sorority girl. Apparently, our own Nancy Drew was reading the diary of Cooper’s girlfriend. Lois is so adorable when she snoops. She learns that Cooper was going to go to the newspapers with some information about the football team. The plot thickens....

We’re given clues that Geoff is responsible for Cooper’s condition, the biggest clue being that he goes into Cooper’s hospital room and smothers him with a pillow. Geoff also kindly explains that he can’t have anyone telling the papers about his very controlled power of temporarily immobilizing people and his use of it on the field. Also, at Cooper’s wake Clark overhears Geoff talking to another student, Marcus, about getting a clean urine sample. He also witnesses Marcus falling to the floor at Cooper’s touch. Ah, the pieces are coming together....

Clark tells Lois and Chloe and of course the two of them decide that it’s time to do some detective work. Chloe decides to go door to door in the dorms for the real scoop on Geoff. Lois spots Marcus and begins to question him about the urine samples. As luck would have it, Geoff happens to be RIGHT THERE. He paralyzes Lois and drags her to his car all the while explaining that he never meant to hurt anyone. He was under so much pressure to always win and was forced to start using the powers he never used in high school. Wah wah wah! Chloe comes out just as he speeds off with his tell-tale license plate, TEFLON.

I have no idea where Geoff takes Lois. It’s somewhere sort of underground and big and there is a handle that releases water when turned. He lays her on the ground, apologizing all the while, and turns on the water leaving her there to ultimately drown. Fortunately for Lois, Clark and Chloe are on top of things! They hack into the Trip Star (sort of like On Star) program and Clark impersonates Geoff to get the location of his vehicle. Clark is instantly there and Geoff whines some more to him about all the pressure he was under, what with his powers and all. Anyways, Lois is saved. Yay!

So to tie it all up, Clark decides that he doesn’t want to be in the same situation that Geoff found himself in. Chloe is proud of Clark for his decision. And best of all, Lois is kicked out of Met U, cut off by her father, and Clark agrees to let her stay with the Kents. I think more Lois is a very good thing.

Oh, and before I forget... Lana learns from Lex that Jason has been keeping things from her such as his rather extensive knowledge of the Countess. I roll my eyes and sigh heavily every time this Countess stuff comes up. Oh, how it pains me. Why don’t they just make a spin off of Smallville where they can deal with all this pointless Countess drama? Then I wouldn’t have to watch it and that would please me greatly.

Honda Dimitriu