Finally, we have an episode where things actually happen! Clark has an actual girlfriend that isn’t Lana. Chloe is involved throughout the episode. Lois sings karaoke. And more William Shatner references than you’d know what to do with. They did leave out Priceline though....

Nobody seems to appreciate the fact that Clark is dating Alicia and everyone throws a fit when he brings her to karaoke night. Lana, being the biggest drama queen, says she’s seen enough and storms off. I’m not sure what she meant by “enough” as Clark and Alicia had only been standing there for about twenty seconds.

Back at her apartment, Lana locks her bathroom door, lights enough candles to burn down an entire building, and gets in the shower. It becomes quickly evident that someone else in Smallville has some kind of teleportation powers when she is attacked by some force that enters through the keyhole. Fortunately for her, Jason is able to bust down the door before she is suffocated by the shower curtain. Actually, that scene was mildly disturbing. It’s never pleasant to see someone’s face covered by plastic and gasping for air.

I’m going to admit something right here. Despite the fact that I watched Smallville on Tivo, I could not for the life of me catch the name of this one particular character. I will call him The Guy for the purposes of this review. So then...people are questioned about the attack on Lana. The Guy, who has managed to snag a date with hottie Lois, tells Clark that on the night of the attack he saw a blonde girl hanging around in the alley. It is pretty obvious that he is lying. Hanging around in an alley? Come on, he could come up with something a little better than that.

Even though Alicia took a bullet for Clark the previous week, he still suspects her which seems rather silly. Alicia would have no reason to kill Lana since she now has Clark to herself. Also, Alicia was “the villain” last week so she can’t be the villain for two weeks in a row. At any rate, it doesn’t help to put Clark’s suspicions at ease when he notices that Alicia is no longer wearing her bracelet. And as usual, no liar is more indignant about being lied to than Clark Kent. Naturally, he goes off on her about how she lied about wearing the bracelet.

Later on, Martha and Clark go to visit Lana. Jason was just leaving as they arrive and moments later he is attacked in his car. Some invisible force is strangling Jason with a green scarf. Of course Clark is able to save him and notices that the scarf belongs to.....Alicia! Does anyone else smell a frame up?

Did I also mention that Clark is a big hypocrite? He doesn’t believe Alicia when she tells him that she had nothing to do with the attack on Jason. He demands that Alicia turn herself in and tell people about her powers even though he himself “can’t” tell anyone about his powers. Just shut up, Clark. No, really, just shut up. When Clark valiantly turns over the scarf to the sheriff he discovers that Alicia had been with her in interrogation during the time of the attack. Now don’t you feel like a schmuck, Clark?

Cut to Lois and her date with The Guy. He’s really not normal. He keeps talking about how Smallville used to be such a nice moral town. He tells Lois that Lana and Jason got what they deserved because of their illicit affair. Great thing to tell someone on a first date. It’s good though because now Lois knows that The Guy is responsible for the attacks. Good work Nancy Drew!

Now things get good. Alicia, who was willing to die to protect Clark’s secret, now wants to make his secret public. This is all in the name of his own good. She (sort of) kidnaps Chloe and drives off. She calls Clark and pretends that her car is out of control and her brakes aren’t working. Of course, she and Chloe teleport out of the car to a safe watching distance. Chloe watches wide-eyed as Clark appears practically out of nowhere, lifts the car up to stop it, and speeds away after placing it back on the ground.

Afterward, Alicia discovers that The Guy is the one responsible for the attempted murders. He incapacitates her (why didn’t she just teleport away?) and leaves her hanging by a noose at Clark’s place. Clark is naturally sad and enraged at this turn of events. It turns out he really loved Alicia. Lois shows up and tells him that he has to go find The Guy. Clark does this and we have our end of the episode fight.

It’s rather difficult to fight someone who sort of disintegrates into sand and swishes around you, but Clark manages just fine. In fact, he’s so furious that he is on the verge of killing The Guy, but Lois shows up again and stops him. Too bad.

The last important thing that happens is that Jason’s mother contacts Lex seeking his help to break apart Jason and Lana. It becomes obvious that these two have known each other for quite sometime. As bribery, she offers to tell Lex how his father was able to overturn his conviction. As we all know, Lex never chooses to work for anyone but himself. Lex, in turn, contacts Jason and asks for his help in discovering Mrs. Teague’s secrets. As he put it, he wants to know “the enemy of my enemy.”

I hope next week’s episode continues in this vein. Hopefully this episode wasn’t just a fluke.

Honda Dimitriu