If there
ever was a time I was wrong - it wasn't now. In fact, I can
clearly state, "I called it." I called it just about
two years ago, too. Don't believe me?
The Suliban
launched the Enterprise crew in the pilot episode. As Earth
was dragged into the "temporal cold war" humans
were flung into space before history recorded it. But as sinister
as the Suliban were, their life span was limited to two years.
Sure they're the "main foe" for Enterprise,
but as our Star Trek history teaches us, it's the third season
that defines a show.
Every
Star Trek show starts with one arch nemesis which is
later replaced by a cooler more fitting enemy race.
Star
Trek: The Romulans gave way to the Klingons
The
Next Generation: Ferengi were replaced by the Borg.
Deep
Space Nine: Cardassians were overshadowed by the Dominion.
Voyager:
The Kazon couldn't resist the power of the Borg (very original).
And
now…
Enterprise:
Launched with the Suliban, but docks with the Xindi.
To be
fair, the original enemies never go away, DS9 being
the best example. The Dominion stepped in at the start of
season three, the Klingons were fighting mad in season four,
but the Cardassians - their original enemy - were still
active all the way up to the final episode. And we see the
same trend forming on Enterprise. The whole reason
we meet the Xindi is because of the Suliban and their "temporal
cold war."
But within
every single case of archnemesis replacement, the new bad
guy is always cooler than the old. Is that true here? The
Xindi are a race of five distinct people. There's the furry
guys, the lizard guys and the fleshy guys, all acted by
people in make-up. And the bug guys and water guys don't
speak English - probably because they're computer generated.
All we've seen of them so far is five department heads sitting
around talking about the Enterprise, and if they should
destroy it.
Is this
a joke? Their boardroom looks like something that was lifted
from the set of Attack of the Clones. Could the races
be more distinct? It's like they're setting this up for
a video game, with the five different levels and alien environments…
Wait a
second! I think we're onto something here.
While
the Xindi may be the new enemy outside, there are a few
new changes inside on Enterprise. As Captain Archer explains,
with poor exposition, an old cargo room has been transformed
into a "war room." And now there is a team of
military marines on board.
These
guys "fix" two "problems" at once.
1.
They bring kicks, punches, sniper rifles, super tech gear
and general cool fighting stuff to the screen (and later
to the video game).
2.
They bring conflict to the crew.
Every
Star Trek show created, after Gene Roddenberry, has
been infused with inner conflict among the cast. Writers
often complained it was too hard to create friction among
the characters in TNG, because everyone was supposed
to get along in the perfect utopia world Roddenberry had
dreamed. That's why DS9 was inhabited by both Bajoran
and Star Fleet personnel. And why on Voyager there
were Marquis mixed in with Star Fleet.
But the
radical new changes don't stop with space marines and alien
bad dudes. Quite possibly the biggest change for the third
season is T'Pol's new outfit. Now we can enjoy her in commanding-red,
or thoughtful-blue. (What exactly is the point of a uniform,
if it's not uniform? Or maybe she gets to wear whatever she
wants cause … can't think of a reason.) Even her hair
is different. Oh, and she likes to show off her boobs now,
too.
In what
has got to be the most gratuitous scene since the pilot, T'Pol
teaches Trip some Vulcan therapy to help him sleep. It involves
disrobing, rubbing, and even moaning. And of course, T'Pol
hugging her own naked breast. Go ahead, read the sentence
again. Oh, heck, I'll just write it again. "T'Pol hugging
her own naked breast."
Of course
you read it again. That's why they put those things in there,
Fanboys! C'mon now, what's more important - good story telling
in a thoughtful, original and imaginative world executed skillfully,
with clever writing, honorable performances, and very impressive
special effects, or "T'Pol hugging her own naked breast."
Oh, who
am I kidding? It's a waste of typing.
Looking
into the future of season three, T'Pol will be letting her
ears down more, as we keep seeing her act sexy. It must be
something about the Delphic expanse - uh, guys, sorry, it's
the region of space Enterprise will be cruising for all of
season three.
They're
abandoning exploring space, and instead searching for and
hopefully destroying the Xindi before the Xindi can destroy
Earth.
With
the new season premiering on the eve of the 2 year anniversary
of 9/11, we must wonder where some of these "changes
of direction" are coming from. Is it to tap into threads
that America as a whole is feeling? Or is it a simple case
of art mimicking life… or is this art at all?
Too deep.
"T'Pol hugging her naked breasts." Whew.
Back in
shallow waters, we'll continue the adventure next week when
Enterprise is invaded by one of the many dangerous races in
the Delphic expanse.
On my
new species ratings scale it scores a…
Shape
Shifter: Cool, but may have tried to be too many
things at once.
