Enterprise
Rogue Planet
airdate 03-20-02

 “Eh.”

That’s how the latest episode of Enterprise will leave you. Captain Archer and crew find a Rogue Planet where a band of hunters prey on a family of slugs. While there Captain Archer spots a beautiful woman who lures him into the forest, and begs for his help. What sets this episode apart from the average Enterprise adventure is its predictability.

Enterprise can usually keep its viewers guessing by playing off of the standard trek story lines. In episode four the crew camped on an alien world and suspected T’Pol of being a spy, attempting to trap the away team. In actuality everyone had fallen victim to a psychotropic chemical naturally found on the planet. The way the episode was revealed it seemed like there was some greater plot to be uncovered.

If you have this week’s episode sitting on a VCR tape somewhere, or you’re waiting for it to be re-run on Sunday you should stop reading . . . now. That’s right, go check out some of the previous trek reviews. Go. No, I mean it. Okay.

Fair warning.

It becomes far too obvious that the woman in the forest is a member of the very race the aliens are hunting for. And the saddest part of all is the reveal. When Captain Archer first rants and raves about this gorgeous lady in her nightie running through the thicket the alien hunters laugh at him. They act like he’s crazy, or dreaming, or having a crazy dream.

Then, later, after she tells Archer the aliens are hunting her race, they have no problem telling him the truth. Why would they hide the truth, and then two days later have no reservation telling him who the woman was? Wouldn’t they want to know more about their prey’s attraction to the captain so they could trap it? Aliens make bad hunters. Except the Hergions – they had style. Recreating France on Voyager, and making Seven of Nine sing. Now that’s hunting.

And for a rogue planet (one that doesn’t revolve around a sun) there was a lot of light. Sure there will be some starlight, but they supposedly landed in a forest with foliage as thick as the Amazon. How much light gets to the floor of the Amazon anyway? For that matter, how much light gets to the floor of an Amazon?

Hopefully, Rouge Planet was a rogue episode, and next week we can look forward to a more engaging plot. And how could it not be? Get out your tooth sharpeners, electric whips, and rules of acquisition. Next week it’s time for the Ferengi!

Kevin Miller

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