Next Generation there would be commercials for episodes where Data
the android would go berserk searching for emotions. They would run
some three second clip that showed him acting way out of character,
and it left you thinking that his positronic net had finally snapped.
Like when he was
dating that engineering girl, and had written a bunch of sub-programs
dealing with proper relationships. The tag line for the ad was a shot
of Data pointing at his girlfriend and yelling, "Perhaps there
is something wrong with YOU!"
Vulcan males are
pretty much just like human males.
But that scene was
taken completely out of context. Data hadn't snapped with robot love;
he was running a program to artificially cause a fight within their
relationship. His research proved that making up after breaking up strengthens
the couples' love. (This is not why real women start fights, however.
It's not artificial -- YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG, like watched Enterprise
when you should have been rubbing her feet.)
This same out-of-context
commercial ran to promote this week's Enterprise, but in a much
more perverse manner. As advertised, a group of emotion embracing Vulcans
hop on board the Enterprise, and one of them, Tolaris, becomes involved
with T'Pol. But the whole scene where they nuzzle in bed (naked as two
green skinned pointed ears can get) was all a part of T'Pol's unsettling
dream sequence. (And ours, but that's another story.)
The boys in marketing
didn't think the actual thrust of this episode was something that would
run well as a commercial. The Vulcan boy Tolaris couldn't keep his passion-loving
hands off of our favorite alien hottie, and he forced her into a mind
meld. It was an analogy for domestic violence.
And this is a good
thing. At its best, Star Trek has been about the heavy issues.
The original series is revered for having slipped by censors with storylines
about race, prejudices and tribble abuse. On TNG, we saw Riker
fall in love with an alien that lived in a uni-sex world, an analogy
for gay rights. Deep Space Nine dealt with repression, and even
had a running story line where Avery Brooks was a black writer in the
Bush and Cheney
make cameo appearances.
Heavy issues are
what the franchise is built on, not naked Vulcans rolling around in
their quarters. Not to say there hasn't been an excuse or two made to
attract more 18-35 year old males. Seven of Nine, Jadzia Dax, and of
course, Deanna Troi - in the later seasons when she was wearing her
But there were never
shots of Troi's chest running as ads. The boys over in marketing need
to start watching the episodes they promote, and actually advertise
what we see. Because if we want to get off on naked Vulcans there are
plenty of places on the Internet, starting with Everythingispointed.net,
moving on to NakedVulcanGirlies.com, and FanboyPlanet Editor Michael
Goodson's side project, TPolsPanties.com, though really, we could all
probably do without seeing him in Vulcan underwear.
Hmm. Okay. I'll
take the disturbing dream sequence instead.