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Kwoon:
It's Nipple Bloody Fun!
Fan filmmaking.
It's been
around forever and most folks have no idea that it exists
in such large numbers. I've been a fan since I met a few kids
making some pretty good little movies that they would dub
and pass around school and cons when I was in high school.
I've been lucky enough to see a lot of these films at conventions
and through film festivals, and have seen some classics and
some real awful beasts.
Every
few years a classic slips out, like Hardware Wars,
and gets a lot of play. With easy DVD authoring software and
web-based distribution channels, it's easier to get a film
around and into the hands of film freaks. One film that is
getting better and better known is Kwoon,
a series of kung-fu adventures shot in San Jose.
Kwoon
is the story of five Kung-Fu students who get into wacky adventures.
Everything I expect from a fan film is there: familiar genre
storylines, over-the-top characters, bad acting, and lots
of cheap and easy jokes. Kwoon embraces each and every
one of these norms and plays them even bigger, then mixes
in some really good fight scenes. These guys are actual martial
artists and they put on a hell of an exposition in the long
and intricate fight scenes.
On the
DVD, you get episodes 3 and 4, since they are working backwards
towards 1 (they want to do that one right). Episode 3, "The
Collection Agency," tells the tale of Onassis (Onassis
Parungao), Chuck (Chuck Becker), and Todd (Todd Roy) who go
to Fresno to collect on an outstanding sword order invoice.
The swords
were ordered by the mob who need them to put together their
death squad of killers. The guys take their road trip down
to Fresno and the fights begin in Wild Water Adventure (which
is actually in Clovis, about a block and a half from my Mom's
place). The fights are a ton of fun, as they make full use
of the empty water park. Todd does some classic physical comedy,
and Don Hambey makes a great Bolo Yeung in his battle with
Onassis, and the short ends with a bunch of water park babes
hanging with the Kwoon crew.
 Episode
4, "Mummy Dearest," takes place almost entirely
in the Rosecrucian Museum in San Jose. The visual interest
of the museum pieces adds a ton to this monster/kung-fu piece.
Hot chick
scientists, potty humor, bloody nipples, and a couple of great
fight scenes make it a highly entertaining way to spend twenty-four
minutes.
Not even
the filmmakers themselves would dare say these were high art,
as they are nestled somewhere between low-brow and no-brow
on the intelligencia meter. No matter, these are fun little
pieces that are well worth the time and money. I laughed hard,
even if I could see the joke running headlong at me, and the
fights have a certain amateurish quality, but they are really
entertaining.
Fan filmmaking
has been the beneficiary of much of the consumer technology
grace. Camcorders allowed for an explosion in the number of
fan films in the 1980s, and we are seeing an even bigger explosion
today with the availability of digital video cameras and easy
editing software.
Kwoon,
shot with the glorious Canon XL-1, is a high step above many
of the other fan films I have seen over the years. While still
not at the level of films shown in theaters, it is more than
perfect to be on your TV.
I always
say that you should seek out films like Kwoon whenever
you can. While they will never compete with the big budget
blockbusters, many are like Kwoon and entertain for
the entire running time.
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