Angel
The Lawyer
Went Down To California
Every
now and then we do something that shames us. In Angel reviewer
Chris Crotty's case, it involves writing song parodies to
reflect plotlines to his favorite show.
And
because we have no actual shame, we are running his latest
effort, and praying for the swift return of new episodes.
Without
further ado, Mr. Crotty's latest fine poetic effort:
The lawyer
went down to California, she was looking for a soul to steal,
With an evil mind, and a cute behind, and she was looking
to cop a feel.
When she came across this English man sawing on a demon and
slaying it hot,
And the lawyer jumped into his bed and said “Boy let
me tell ya what.”
“I guess you didn’t know it, but I’m a rogue
player too.
And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet
with you.”
“Now you plot pretty good plans boy, but give this lawyer
her due,
I’ll bet my pussy against your soul ‘cause I think
I’m better than you.”
The boy said, "My name’s Wesley, and it might be
a sin,
"But I'll take your bet – you’re gonna regret
'cause I’m the cleverest there’s ever been!"
Wesley sharpen up your brain an’ stop your getting’
hard,
‘Cause hell’s broke out in LA and the lawyer deals
the cards.
And if you win you’ll get to poke her pleasure hole,
but if you lose the lawyer gets your soul!
The lawyer opened up her mouth, and she said “I’ll
start the show.”
And fire flew from her ruby lips, and her tongue began to
glow.
And she pulled her hand across his crotch and it made an evil
hiss,
Then loosened up his trousers and gave him a special kiss.
When the lawyer finished Wesley said, “Well, you’re
pretty good ol’ girl.
But set right in that chair right there and let me show you
how it’s done!”
CHORUS
“Round the hotel, run Lorne run! Angel watch out for
the rising sun!
Cordy’s in heaven making a glow. Fred does your Gunn
bite? No, Wes, no!
The lawyer bowed her head, ‘cause she knew that she’d
been beat,
And she spread her legs on the floor right there at Wesley’s
feet.
Wesley said, “Lawyer just come on back if you ever want
to try again,
“I done told you once you evil bitch, I’m the rogue-est
there’s ever been!”
And he played:
CHORUS
“Round the hotel, run Lorne run! Angel watch out for
the rising sun!
Cordy’s in heaven making a glow. Fred does your Gunn
bite? No, Wes, no!
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