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Alias
Remnants
original air-date: 12-07-03
Be
Kind. Rewind: Lazarey's hand was discovered in the desert
and analysis of it proved that Sydney didn't kill him. Lindsey
requested that Sloane assassinate Ms. Bristow. A trip through
Spy Girl's subconscious made us all wonder what was behind
door 47.
Tis the
season…for giving presents, of course. ABC decided to
give viewers the gift of one more new episode of Alias
before repeat hell sets in for the next four weeks.
Despite
being wrapped in promises of big revelations and tied up in
sparkly guest stars, watching this episode is kind of like
opening a beautiful box only to find that it's filled with
socks. Not that there's anything wrong with socks, they serve
a purpose, but as far as gifts go, they leave something to
be desired.
As long
as we're making analogies, let's consider Bradley Cooper's
brief return to the series the shiny ribbon gracing the outside
of our present. If you ask this fan, the powers that be never
should have gotten rid of Will in the first place, and after
watching Remnants this feeling has only gotten stronger.
Many argued that his straight-laced character had no place
among the spies and assassins that populate this show, but
I think that Cooper's everyman character is just what Alias
is missing from time to time.
Unlike
everyone else, Will never had a secret agenda. We knew what
he was all about, and on a series where you're always second-guessing
everyone's motives, it's kind of refreshing to see a character
that doesn't have something to hide.
The scene
where Will points a gun at Sydney, suspecting that she's a
clone, was the only logical way to have these two friends
meet again. If they had just hugged or said how are you, it
would have been contrived, kind of like the make out scene
between Will and Sydney was. Consider this, if you will, sock
number one. These scenes could have been about two long lost
friends sharing something meaningful, but ended up being about
two lonely, drunk people indulging in each other.
Given
the history that these two have shared and the feelings that
Will had for Sydney for the first two seasons, their night
together could have and should have been handled with more
care and less alcohol.
Lazarey's
appearance in this episode left us with even more questions,
like why is he trying to protect Julia/Syd and what information
does he have regarding the Rambaldi artifact that Spy Girl
recovered from the hotel? Speaking of that box thing that
contained human tissue supposedly belonging to Milo (You can
almost hear Sloane saying "It's just what I've always
wanted!"), the only explanation that I was able to come
up with was that the devices that this mad scientist created
were to be used to bring the owner of that tissue back to
life in the 21st century. Far fetched? Perhaps, but strange
things tend to pop up on this show.
Clones
happen to be one of those strange things, and everyone's favorite
genetically engineered double, Allison, was back in this episode.
Unfortunately, for both viewers and Merrin Dungey, Allison
was stabbed by Will and left for dead after a less than thrilling
fight scene. Submitted for your approval, sock number two.
If the
writers would like us to believe that Allison, a women that
gave Spy Girl a run for her money every time they fought,
was taken out by Will, then they don't have much faith in
their viewers' intelligence. As much as that scene sucked,
I'm willing to bet that this isn't the last we've seen of
her, and that like the Energizer she keeps going and going,
no matter how many times she gets shot or stabbed.
While
Sloane's double cross assassination of Lindsey was mildly
satisfying, it was not at all unexpected and just confirmed
what we already knew: Sloane is up to something.
Jack's
request that Vaughn push Sydney away because his kindness
is too painful for her is what I like to call sock number
three. While it may seem that Jack has his daughter's best
interests in mind, he has to know that it's not possible for
Vaughn to do this because they work together and because he
still loves Sydney in one way or another. This will only lead
to Vaughn pushing her away, Sydney questioning why he is doing
so, and then eventually learning that Spy Daddy's request
is the cause of all this mess. The hurt-the-one-you-love scenario
is clichéd and often used by far less intelligent shows
that Alias.
Sock number
four, making a complete two pairs, is the lame ending we were
left with. Sure, perhaps we will see Will pop up in a sweeps
episode sometime this spring, but everything else went back
to normal, or normal for this show anyway. While there were
a few bright spots, including Mr. Cooper's return and Lauren's
absence, overall the episode was a disappointment.
But, hey,
it's the thought that counts?
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