| Year 
                    One In the 
                      beginning was the word. And it was good. Then along came 
                      Jack Black and Michael Cera to mutter the word under their 
                      breath and give it odd readings, and it was funny, sure, 
                      but what did it all mean?
                      A meandering 
                      comedy that wanders in and out of the Book of Genesis, Year 
                      One features the two slightly mismatched actors as Zed 
                      and Oh, primitive men who live in Eden while civilizations 
                      have begun rising the next valley over. When a slight misunderstanding 
                      over the forbidden fruit leads to their exile, Zed (Black) 
                      leads his buddy to the end of the world - only to discover 
                      there's a whole land beyond.
                      In 
                      no short order they encounter Cain (David Cross) and Abel 
                      (Paul Rudd), director Harold Ramis as Adam, and improbably 
                      stop Abraham (Hank Azaria) from killing Isaac (Christopher 
                      Mintz-Plasse). They run afoul of the Sodomite General Sargon 
                      (Vinnie Jones,) but stop short of leading the Jews into 
                      Egypt.
                      It's 
                      a little surprising that that story wasn't thrown into the 
                      blender as well, since the script by Ramis along with Gene 
                      Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg takes shots at so many Bible 
                      stories. Nothing wrong with that, really, but it's all done 
                      so half-heartedly.
                      That 
                      includes the direction by Ramis, or perhaps somebody wrested 
                      this away and edited without a sense of humor. Many situations 
                      get decent set-ups, but few pay off. When Zed eats the golden 
                      apple of knowledge, a snake wraps itself around Oh. Somewhere 
                      in there must be commentary on the story of the serpent 
                      tempting Eve, with Cera stuck in the Eve role. Instead, 
                      the movie cuts to the two of them walking back to their 
                      village, arguing about who's smarter without explaining 
                      what happened at all.
                      And 
                      so it goes throughout. Even the conceit of Black thinking 
                      he's the smartest man in the world now isn't funny if nobody 
                      really challenges him on it, or if from time to time Black 
                      would reference it himself. Instead, Ramis depends on Black's 
                      persona to sell the joke; nobody bothered writing him any 
                      actual funny lines.
                    The 
                      other shots at the Bible stories are pretty predictable 
                      - ooh, isn't it funny to talk about adult circumcision! 
                      They're in Sodom and everybody's having sex - wait, actually, 
                      nobody seems to be at all. There's an orgy here, supposedly, 
                      but the worst it gets is a gilded Cera rubbing oil on the 
                      hairy chest of the High Priest. Gross, perhaps, but not 
                      in any particularly prurient way. It's cheap, it's stupid, 
                      it's not what we'd expect from the man who co-wrote Stripes,Ghostbusters 
                      and Groundhog Day.  At 
                      least he throws in a through-line about Zed and Oh trying 
                      to impress and then rescue from slavery the two most beautiful 
                      women in their tribe. Maya (June Diane Raphael) and Eema 
                      (Juno Temple) get very little to do except look beautiful, 
                      but even then Ramis sells them short by introducing the 
                      Sodomite Princess Inanna (Olivia Wilde). There may be a 
                      pun there, but again, this movie is too lazy to even sell 
                      that.
                    Aping 
                      earlier movies like History of the World Part I and, 
                      well, History of the World Part I, Year Zero 
                      fills the screen with recognizable comedic actors who strive 
                      to do something with their parts, but are just underserved 
                      by an unfunny screenplay. How can you waste David Cross 
                      as the weaselly first murderer in history - and Paul Rudd, 
                      who up until now I thought could deliver any line funny? 
                      If you must know, go see Year 
                      One. And 
                      then also let Ramis know that the mere casting of Vinnie 
                      Jones is no longer enough to get a laugh. He blew all his 
                      comedic wad in X3 with his "I'm the Juggernaut, b***h." 
                      Now he's just a short-tempered thug again, brought in to 
                      try to force a little genuine menace into the film. 
                     For a while, 
                      at least, Platt rises above the material. It might be the 
                      easy route to make the High Priest extremely fey, but at 
                      least the veteran actor plays it to the hilt. He's the only 
                      one who seems to be aware that he has to be constantly covering 
                      up for a lack of divine intervention going on in these character's 
                      lives.
                      Admittedly, 
                      the movie has some laughs, but rarely from anything more 
                      than shock that they went there. A couple of incest jokes, 
                      poop, urine…all of that adds up to just more poop and urine. 
                      Those lazy motherlovers. 
 
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