HOME ABOUT SUPPORT US SITES WE LIKE FORUM Search Fanboyplanet.com | Powered by Freefind FANBOY PLANET
Now Showing Today's Date:

White Chicks

As the story goes, Keenen Ivory Wayans found inspiration in an article about debutantes in the Hamptons. Spitballing ideas for the next Wayans Brothers movie, Keenen, Shawn and Marlon agreed that turning the comedy duo into young hot white women would be funny. In theory, they were probably right.

Unfortunately, in putting that idea into a script (and tweaked by yet another three writers), they didn't really have anything to say except, "they're white chicks!" So White Chicks lurches along on one, maybe one and a half, jokes, hoping that no one will notice it's as empty as the stare of one of the Wilson Sisters that the Wayans portray.

Director Wayans (Keenen Ivory) sets the tone early with a loud but dull set up scene. As FBI agents Marcus and Kevin Copeland, his brothers have gone undercover in a bodega to catch some drug dealers. Their make-up, by Keith VanderLaan and Greg Cannom, is pretty effective, though as middle-aged men they both bear a strange resemblance to Ted Lange on The Love Boat. Their actions, however, snap our belief before we can even form it. Because the filmmaker thinks it's funny, we must accept that latino ice cream men will not know that Marlon mispronouncing the words to "Guantanamera" means he doesn't actually speak Spanish.

Worse, the Copelands have terrible instincts. When faced with drug dealers posing as ice cream vendors, they fail to note that it's probably the Russians, and not the guys with tubs of ice cream. But then, sloppy thinking rules the day.

It's a dangerous time to portray the FBI as this full of complete idiots.

Through a series of wacky hijinks that does involve somewhat funny cruelty to a small dog, the Copelands find themselves posing as the Wilsons (Anne Dudek and Maitland Ward), self-involved blond cruise ship heiresses that are the target of a kidnapping plot. And once again, the FBI evidently forgot that the "I" stands for "investigation," because only through luck and happenstance do the brothers discover who the kidnapper really is. Then again, it's only through luck and happenstance that the movie remembers it has this as its central plot.

For about thirty minutes, the Wayanses deliver a series of quick gross-out vignettes that make fun of white girls, but it never builds up to anything. They create an excuse to do "Your Mama" insults. They point out that black people don't like Vanessa Carlton's music (except one guy). And whenever they drift toward making a point, such as debutantes horrified at the "n" word but more horrified by actual African-Americans, the scene cuts away quickly, lest the audience be troubled by a thought.

Among those troubling thoughts: that Hamptons society is so superficial that nobody can tell that the Copelands aren't the Wilsons, even though they're about a foot taller and look like the creepy Duracell family from commercials years ago. Again, there's a joke here about plastic surgery, but the film never develops it.

Eventually the movie finds some structure by borrowing the plot of Some Like It Hot, but even then, it's cursory. Nobody questions why the Wilson sisters have black hands. If somebody is about to discover that they're really the Copelands, we feel no danger. There's just no sense of giddy farce, though Marlon gets to do some giddy farts.

It's a shame, because as both a writer and a director, Keenen Ivory Wayans has proven he can mix lowbrow humor with high comedy. Maybe it's just that when the brothers all get together, they take it way too easy (the Scary Movie franchise belies that, though). Certainly, Marlon has also proven himself an inventive actor in movies away from the family franchise. Shawn, however, should cut his losses as a comedian and go for strong leading man, because once he takes the Tony Curtis role here, he has moments that actually work.

Most of the other actors meander around, including stalwart Lochlyn Munro, who clearly has resigned himself to playing the dumb guy in bad comedies. Two, however, rise above the mess to make an impression.

In a relatively dramatic counterpoint arc, Busy Philipps (Kim from Freaks & Geeks) believably plays a debutante growing dissatisfied with the falsity of it all. Though the script doesn't take it far enough, she has subtext.

Built all wrong to be the basketball star the script has him be, Terry Crews fills the Osgood role, Latrell Spencer. It's fairly by the numbers, but this hugely musclebound actor throws himself into it with such abandon that even the most obvious jokes become funny. Crews will play the President in Mike Judge's next movie, 3001. Hopefully, this means the guy will be in a movie as funny as he can be.

In the meantime, this movie is as disposable as one of the Wayans' false faces.


Derek McCaw

Our Friends:

Official PayPal Seal

Copyrights and trademarks for existing entertainment (film, TV, comics, wrestling) properties are held by their respective owners and are used with permission or for promotional purposes of said properties. All other content ™ and © 2001, 2014 by Fanboy Planet™.
"The Fanboy Planet red planet logo is a trademark of Fanboy Planetâ„¢
If you want to quote us, let us know. We're media whores.
Movies | Comics | Wrestling | OnTV | Guest | Forums | About Us | Sites