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Ghost
Ship
Nothing
spoils an ocean cruise like a cable cutting across the dance
floor, especially when people are actually dancing at the
time. It abruptly changes the tempo from an elegant waltz
to a crude slide. At least, for the top halves of their bodies.
Such
bluntness in the midst of elegance makes for a cool contrast.
Indeed, Ghost Ship director Steve Beck likes it so
much he uses the scene twice. As a sequence, it works, but
that contrast infuses the whole movie, until we're really
not sure where it wants to go, elegant ghost story or out
and out splatterfest.
It's
not that you go into a movie from Dark Castle Productions
(The House On Haunted Hill, Thirteen
Ghosts) expecting something Oscar-worthy. But with
a name as naked as Ghost Ship, you at least deserve
80 minutes or so of fun.
From
the beginning, the movie offers hope. Beck throws a curveball
by starting in 1962 aboard the Italian ocean liner Antonia
Graza. Amidst high sophistication on this "floating art
palace," a gorgeous lounge singer (Francesca Rettondini) croons
in mink stole tones. But is there just the slightest glint
of foreboding in her eyes?
Outside
on the lido deck, a bored young girl (Emily Browning) accepts
the Captain's invitation to dance. And then comes the slicing.
It's gory, sure, but already the effect of people moving without
realizing they've been separated has become old hat in horror
movies.
You know
the scene: their eyes widen as it sinks in, and their bodies
slowly slip apart. Beck copies himself from a similar scene
in Thirteen Ghosts; at least in the earlier movie the
slice was vertical, providing some novelty. Here it's just
quantity, as a good fifty people or so struggle to hold themselves
together. Or put themselves back together.
Flashing
forward to modern day, a salvage crew gets turned on to the
empty hulk of the Antonia Graza drifting through the
Bering Strait. Their tip comes from eager beaver Ferriman
(Desmond Harrington), who insists on going with them to make
sure they don't cheat him out of his finder's fee.
The crew
are pretty much non-descript, but cast for personalities to
make up for the sparseness of written ones. Gabriel Byrne
does a little more than collect a paycheck as Murphy (because
this is the sort of movie where Irish guys are named Murphy),
and Ghost Ship is better for his casting. Only a handful
of living actors can answer the question, "you've seen this
ship?" with "only in my dreams" and make it sound believable.
As a
scruffy salvage guy named Dodge, Ron Eldard supposedly pines
for Epps (real-life girlfriend Julianna Margulies), but we
only know this because late in the film somebody accuses him
of it. Maybe casting a couple was supposed to be enough.
Only
Isaiah Washington as Greer seems to be working much from script
cues; Greer is about to get married, and the anticipation
has clearly taken its toll. When the spooky stuff starts flying
(well, more like limping), Greer gives in to it. Unfortunately,
though the movie sets us up for clever consequences, it ignores
the possibilities.
Because
union rules now state that one creepy kid must appear in any
horror movie made in the 21st Century, that bored little girl
starts popping up when the crew reaches the ship. She's really
more sad than creepy, and serves as Epps' guide to the horror
rather than a threat.
The
Antonia
Graza holds plenty of threats and the promise of malevolent
spirits. And of course, the salvage crew starts getting picked
off, in order of ethnicity (sorry, also due to union rules).
But Ghost Ship has a lot of promise that ends up going
nowhere.
Those
ghosts, for example. Katie, the little girl ghost, shows us
what really happened on that last night of the cruise, and
that should mean a whole boatload of evil specters. But we
actually only see one truly malevolent one from the events
of 1962, and one crewmember comes back for a brief taunting.
It's the audience that gets taunted, because the movie never
builds on that idea.
Nor the
idea that Murphy, a recovering alcoholic, shouldn't drink
that ghostly scotch. Anyone who has seen or read The Shining
knows it's a bad idea. No, gang, I'm here to tell you: the
bad idea is proving that really, when a ghost offers you a
drink, it's because he knows you need it. Byrne tries to play
it for tension, but it dead-ends.
The real
disappointment comes from realizing that this movie ends up
having an interesting premise. You already know it's a Voyage
of the Damned, but there's also a reason this salvage crew
has to be onboard.
Even its
explanation goes nowhere, though, as if screenwriter Mark
Hanlon (or the producers) decided that it was just too complicated
for the average movie audience. There's just enough to hint
at something cool, but we're left with something mundane.
(And the movie breaks its own rule for the sake of a "shock"
ending that will come as no shock to anybody who ever saw
an episode of The Twilight Zone.)
Instead
of suspense and payoff, Ghost Ship delivers blood.
Literally, pools of it. And a couple of explosions for those
who need them. If that's what you look for in a horror movie,
then you may be satisfied. But this movie could have been,
should have been, more.
What's
It Worth? $3.99
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