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Dragonball:
Evolution
(originally
posted by Jamie Kelwick at his own site -- www.the-usher.com.)
Based
on the hit Japanese Manga and Anime series Dragonball,
a big screen version of the stories that started in the
1980s has been a long time coming for fans. Everything is
here for the filmmakers to get to grips with: Martial arts,
alien invasion, mysticism, monsters, air-bending magic and
the end of the world. When you discover that James Wong,
writer from The X-Files and the man at the helm
of Final Destination, and Stephen Chow, the Hong
Kong superstar behind Shaolin Soccer and Kung
Fu Hustle, are behind the film, hopes could be raised
high. But unfortunately what we have here is a complete
mess that resembles the worst that even the 80s had to offer.
While
the story may be based on the Manga and the Anime series,
it is a complete mess with some of the most awful dialogue
that graced the silver screen in a long time. Our hero is
Goku, a young man about to turn eighteen who is ignored
at High School but has been secretly training in martial
arts with his Grandfather for most of his life.
Unbeknownst
to him, an ancient evil has returned after 2,000 years to
wreak revenge on the Earth for his defeat at the hands of
some Monk's magic. He is a Namekian, an alien called Lord
Piccolo. No, you did read that correctly and yes, it doesn't
sound very evil or intimidating. He needs to find the seven
Dragonballs. When brought together, these balls bring forth
the dragon Shen Long who will grant the bearer a perfect
wish.
Of course
Lord Piccolo (stop laughing) will use this wish to devastate
the Earth but it just happens to be Goku's destiny to stop
him. This might sound like it should provide a fun martial
arts and fantasy filled adventure and probably for children
under the age of ten, it just might. But for anyone else
who like some kind of sense in their stories, this just
comes across as a complete mess.
The
cast isn't helped by some truly dreadful dialogue. Justin
Chatwin, who you might remember as the extremely annoying
Robbie, Tom Cruise's son who you wanted to die in 'War of
the Worlds', utters most of the worst lines and proves that
he is an actor that really isn't a leading man. Emmy Rossum
had a promising career with appearances in 'The Day After
Tomorrow' and 'The Phantom of the Opera' but as technology
and weapons expert Bulma Briefs (stop laughing again), she
really takes a step in the wrong direction.
Japanese
pop superstar Eriko Tamura has very little to do except
fight as Piccolo's enforcer Mia. Randall Duk Kim is suitably
cast as Goku's grandfather. TV favourite James Marsters
tries his best as the as the villain, but you just can't
take him seriously with the name Lord Piccolo.
It is
the inclusion of Asian superstar Chow Yun-Fat that is the
biggest shock however. Watching the star of such classics
as 'Hard-Boiled', 'The Killer', 'A Better Tomorrow' and
'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' delivering this incomprehensible
dialogue is a real travesty.
'Dragonball:
Evolution' is a mess of a movie and one that makes films
like 'Streetfighter' and 'Super Mario Brothers' look like
works of genius. While the under 10s might enjoy the martial
arts and seeing their cartoon heroes brought to life, the
rest of the audience have to endure a movie that makes no
sense, poses more questions than it answers and will have
you laughing at how bad the dialogue and the story can really
be.
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