Real advice, from a real girl, and she is not your mom or your sister.

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Dear Girl,
My girlfriend works at a car dealership, and often goes out for drinks with the salesmen after work. Am I stupid to be jealous?

Funky M.

Dear Funk,

This is tricky, because after work drinks can go either way, so you could be stupidly jealous or stupid not to have seen through the two-timing slut earlier. I suggest you join the after-work crew frequently, get to know the boys, and play the friendly loves-to-get-to-know-everyone guy. This gets you two things: it nips in the bud any overly ambitious intimacy between co-workers, and makes you look like a loving kind of guy who would rather be with his girl than watching a football game (i.e. wins points with your girlfriend and/or any female co-workers who observe you being the chump when they know she's cheating on you. You can ask them out later). Word to the wise, while you are out with the gang, don't keep your arm around her the whole time, glare at the other guys, or generally intimidate the competition.


Dear Girl,
During sex, following foreplay, how long should a man "last." I know there is no definitive answer, but what's a ball park figure?


Dear Mick,

If it's good, 10 minutes or more if you can manage it. 30 minutes is too long. You can extend yourself by going for a while and then stopping, going for a while, then slowing down, etc. You can also last longer if you jerk off in the shower before you pick up your date, so the urgency is a little less intense. I don't recommend the "Something About Mary" method, though.


Dear Girl,
Do you get hazard pay for talking to the losers that write to you?

Arvada, CO
"Hi! I'm gay! "

Dear Kent,
It gives me a great sense of well being to help the bozos of the world find their soul mates. I only get hazard compensation for the stupid Microsoft Word wizard that constantly asks me if I want help writing a freakin' letter.


Dear Girl,
My wife tells me that women don't like receiving oral sex. Other women in my past have said that they do, but my wife says they lied. Is she right or is she insane?

P.S. If my wife asks, I never sent this.

Dear Anon,
Women don't like receiving bad oral sex, which is unfortunately what one often finds available, hence the confusion. Most women (disregarding those with bizarre hygiene complexes) enjoy a good tongue session. I would deduce from this question that either you are amazing at oral sex and your wife is trying to subtly discourage you from performing oral sex on other women, or you are really bad at eating p***y and she is trying to subtly discourage you from performing oral sex on her (in which case the women of your past lied to you to build up your ego).

Side note: many women dislike giving oral sex, and don't like to receive it because they feel they have to reciprocate.

If you have a question for our resident girl, feel free to email her.

Sidney Long

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