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	Planet Buzz		Today's Date:

The Heir To Captain America's Shield

Computer problems kept us from reporting our suspicions yesterday, but last night's installment of The Colbert Report confirmed it -- Steve Rogers is dead, despite what Ms. Marvel might think, because he's willed his shield to "...the only man with the red, white and blue balls to carry on..."

Stephen Colbert.

Godspeed, Stephen. You're going to need it.

Derek McCaw

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