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By
mutual agreement between Mr. Michael Goodson and myself, this
week's Mail Call shall start with the hate mail. That which
does not kill us only makes us stronger. Or at least allows
us to make fun of you.
Important
Announcement For The Internet Wrestling Community
SMACKDOWN
ROCKS!
BROCK LESNAR SUCKS!
OH YEAH
CHRIS GARCIA SUCKS TOO!
OH YEAH YOU SUCK TOO!
-- "John
Public"
This
week's Smackdown was so horrible that Michael Goodson, to
whom this letter was addressed, could not even find the words,
which is why there is no Chair Shots substituting for Chris
Garcia's previously announced absence.
However,
Mr. Goodson did remember the adage, a picture is worth a thousand
words, and would like to direct your attention here
for his response.
Thank
you, and have a pleasant day, John Public.
Talk
About Your Passion...
Dear Sir:
You are
a terrible critic. Travis did a fabulous job as Tarzan. It
was solid acting. Also your writing is poor.
You use
incomplete and run on sentences. My English teacher would
funk you.
-- Martha,
Nebraska
I
swear to heaven, I was sure that my review of The Passion
of the Christ would get at least one letter. However,
readers of this site know that in Hollywood today, the real
issue is still the cancellation of the WB's Tarzan.
Your
accusation of my being a poor writer wounded me deeply. I
went back to my original Tarzan review and parsed it. Yes,
as a stylistic choice, it turns out that I did indeed write
one incomplete sentence, for which I apologize. There were,
however, no run-ons.
Let
me put my correction in here now. Instead of writing that
I am a poor writer, it is more accurate to say that I have
no life.
And
now...at last...let us put the Travis Fimmel issue to rest.
In order to close the book, we went to the closest thing we
have to an expert -- our gay architect friend Kully -- in
a little feature we like to call ASK A GAY ARCHITECT:
Michael:
Michael Goodson, Fanboy Planet.
What is your opinion
of Travis Fimmel?
Kully: Who's that?
Michael: He plays Tarzan on WB's Tarzan.
Kully: No opinion....next!
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We
hope this helpful and informative feature finally lays the
issue to rest.
And
Now A Word About A Show We Agree The WB Shouldn't Have Cancelled...
To Chris
Crotty:
I completely
agree with you on Wes
and Fred - no chemistry whatsoever, and I think you'll
find that a majority of the hardcore fans would agree on that.
However, for all your other complaints, I consider you to
be a nitpicky ass.
Also, Lorne's interrogation scene was lame. The scene on the
stairs was cool though.
Later.
--Dance
of Shame
Chris
Crotty responds:
Thank
you for writing. Yes, I can be an ass upon occasion, but I
am actually one of the least nitpicky critics on the Angel
discussion board where both DanceofShame and myself frequent.
Derek
responds:
I'm
bothered by the use of the phrase "nitpicky ass."
Looking
Forward To More Jekyll Material...
I was
wondering if you can ask Alanna Ubach a couple of questions
for my Yahoo Group.
-- Michaela
Bean
Somewhere On The East Coast
I'm
too tired to come up with a snide remark about the phrase
"Yahoo Group," so all I can do is respectfully say
that yes, I would be happy to ask her a couple of questions
if/when I interview her on behalf of Creative Light.
This
is as good a time as any to say, hey, go over to the Creative
Light Forums and discuss Jekyll. There you can throw in
your questions, and I will dutifully use them because I'm
lazy and it helps when you do my thinking for me.
Another
Jekyll Fan, Not A Paid Endorsement
I'm excited
about the Jekyll film. I've known Siena
(Goines) for a few years and she's been waiting for a
chance to do her thing! This film is a great chance for her
and we'll be looking forward to seeing her as Christy.
-- "Morgan"
I've
seen some of the dailies, and all I can say is that if you'd
seen what I'd seen, people, you'd really be looking
forward to Siena Goines as Christy.
And
On That Note...
hey mcgraw
what other movies has gina
been in? and curse you for doing the interview and not me
-- "Judge
Raye"
I have
no desire whatsoever to do you. Ask a gay architect.
That's
it for the last couple of weeks. As always, the more you write,
the more I run a letters column. Once again, if you don't
mind, sign your real name and tell me what city you're in.
If I were to change my mind about "Judge Raye,"
I'd be helpless.
So
help us out and WRITE!
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