Schachat's Occasional Breakdown
Schachat chose the side with the most cake.
Conundrum of the week:
why should you buy Civil War: Frontline #1?
Because you are a slave to Marvel? So you can add it to
the Civil War mini-comic box you’re putting
right next to your House of M box? Maybe you feel
like lining your birdcage with something more colorful?
good reasons. Certainly much better than wanting to read
the blasted thing.
with a funeral for one of the newsmen who was following
the New Warriors around when they accidentally nuked suburbia.
Ben Urich and Sally Floyd mope around, Spider-Man considers
maybe attempting to try to get interviewed, and Iron Man
unmasks himself at a press conference.
whole thing’s stale as month-old rye. If you’ve
been reading Amazing Spider-Man, you know all this.
If you’ve been reading Civil War, you know all this.
If you’ve visited the Marvel website, you know all
the writers added a couple back-up stories: one where we
learn that Speedball is alive and powerless, and another
about Japanese-Americans being interned during World War
Still not worth buying. I mean, sure, there have to be some
desperate souls out there crying themselves stupid because
they didn’t know if Speedball was really dead, but
I’m positive they’re all kept highly medicated
in secure facilities. Doesn’t mean we need to be reading
book not only fails to flesh-out the perspectives not shown
in Civil War but also completely botches characterizations.
Do we really think J. Jonah Jameson would be “supporting
the Reigstration Act they’re putting through Congress”?
No, he’d write the damn thing and be pushing it 24/7
on radio, TV, and the internet.
the first words out of Tony Stark’s mouth after publicly
removing the helmet be “Hello. My name is Tony Stark
and I’m an alcoholic.”?! Seriously, how is THAT
supposed to be inspiring confidence?
may want to copy DC’s recent success of flooding the
market with books centered around a major event, but at
least DC had the good sense to make those books a bit less
redundant and a lot more entertaining. Definitely skip this
52: Week Five is here, and I’ll still
be damned if I know what the hell’s going on in the
DCU, but I sure enjoy seeing DC’s top writers scramble
around to patch up all the plot holes. Like the Iraq War,
Infinite Crisis was loud, brash, and ultimately
a lot less worthwhile than we’d hoped, but it’s
also led us into one helluva long aftermath with countless
those kids and their pellet guns...
I don’t think “where is Animal Man?” has
been tickling anyone’s tongue.
this issue catches us up with the events following the catastrophic
zeta wave that hit the heroes repairing Alexander Luthor’s
space-rift during the Crisis. Animal Man, Starfire, and
Adam Strange are still missing in space; Alan Scott (aka
The Original Green Lantern) lost his eyes in the accident
and somehow gained one of someone else’s; Hawkgirl
has become the 50ft. woman, Cyborg and Firestorm melted
into each other and are on ice; and Herald has somehow fused
with the remaining parts of the deceased Red Tornado, echoing
his dying words, “Fifty Two!”
no idea what’s going on, but it sure is captivating.
Steel still seems to be evolving into some new kind of machine-man,
Renee Montoya is now wielding some freaky-weird firearms,
Booster Gold continues milking his history lessons from
the future for all he can get, and, most amazing of all,
IT’S FUN TO READ.
threading of all these different characters and events keep
you coming back for more, and it’s certainly proving
far more interesting to read this than delve into the new
backstories of the One Year Later books. With the sluggish
pace of these new DC comics, you might as well drop most
of them and save your hard earned cash for DC 52.
It may be the only big DC book worth it.
Comics #820 yet again falls further into the
‘defective’ category. James Robinson subjects
us to a spat with Scarecrow where Batman and Robin face
their worst fear: crappy new costumes. They pummel alternate
world versions of themselves who’re about as terrifying
as marshmallow fluff and then mock Scarecrow until we’ve
either completely forgotten about the raging evil Scarecrow
gave us last year both in Batman and Batman
Begins or thrown this stupid comic in the fire.
then tries to pull a rabbit out of his hat by focusing on
the new rookie cop whose father’s uncle was the first
Guardian– but she swears she only wants to be a cop.
like that’ll last.
second half of the book is another Jason Bard story, but
you don’t care about that. You just want to know what’s
up with Batman.
a favor and pass on this book. Or buy a copy just to chuck
it in the fire, if that floats your boat. Just don’t
I didn’t find In My Lifetime #1
at my usual Diamond-Distro-whore comic shop. It was given
to me by a friend of a friend who saw the Warren Ellis quote
on the back cover and thought I’d like it (For the
record, Warren Ellis also had a quote on an NYC Mech
cover, and I burned effigies of that book’s creators
after giving it a few months worth of negative reviews).
explains the cajones...
when I gave this one a flip and saw a cross section of the
male reproductive system in one story and a moist-eyed baby
bird straight out of an early Warner Bros. cartoon in the
next, I somehow knew In My Lifetime was different
from the usual self-centered “slice of life”
as autobiographical vignettes, this issue opens with the
writer/artist/creator going to the doctor’s office
because something in his joy department that shouldn’t
be swelling IS. The whole time, he worries that the doctor
will tell him he has to quit smoking.
next story places him and his co-workers on a smoke break
behind the office where they find a baby bird that’s
fallen out of its nest. He tries to feed it by chewing up
his Wheat Thins and spitting them to it before realizing
how unbelievably dumb of an idea it is.
girlfriend asks him if she can go to the comic store with
him. He denies her because she doesn’t read comics,
and he doesn’t want to embarrass his fellow geeks.
He goes on to tell her about the behaviors of the comic
store world and how the “perfect comic store girl”,
the beautiful girl who actually reads comics, is the dream
of every comic geek.
you know what? It feels real. Creator Tony Fleecs has cracked
open the door to his own neuroses and taken a good steamy
look at the what really goes on in his head, and THAT’S
what makes the “slice of life” genre so endearing.
When you can get all the feelings and those little details
(like wondering why someone dumped an Easter basket near
your cubicle) onto the page and still keep us turning the
pages and laughing along, you’ve got it right.
this is not an easy book to find, since Silent Devil Productions
doesn’t seem to belong to Diamond’s consortium,
but I highly recommend it. Probably the best slice of life
comic since Box Office Poison, In My Lifetime is
a breath of fresh air at a time when damn near everything
else is stagnant. Hell, order it from SilentDevil.com
if your store won’t carry it.
know what struck me in The Walking Dead #28?
This is a book that avoids all the standard devices. It
refuses to give us thought bubbles, flashbacks, repeating
dream sequences, or retcons to cover up sloppy writing.
was damn near horrified when we were presented with a zombie-laden
cage match. Not that that doesn’t have a place...
somewhere. But we’ve seen it in movies good and bad.
The statements about our decadent society’s lust for
entertainment have registered loud and clear. What more
is there to do?
Robert Kirkman to give the gladiator battle only four panels,
then devote nearly the entire issue to explaining why they
need to happen. Why the idyllic life of reading, farming,
feeding, and building a community can only happen as long
as there’s something exciting to take our minds off
the horror of everyday life (and zombies).
when we thought our desperate survivors had settled into
a mundane yet relatively safe life at the penitentiary,
they learn that a bloodthirsty shadow of the old America
is living just down the road from them. Living, and planning
to keep it up by taking whatever they want.
and they cripple one of our heroes! How friggin cool is
that?! Nothing like the loss of an appendage to make us
feel the doom (especially when we know it won’t be
re-grown or replaced with cybernetic implants or ‘solid
this isn’t the greatest issue for new readers to hop
on, the new story arc hasn’t moved along far enough
to prove confusing. As ever, The Walking Dead remains
one of the scariest, most thoughtful, and most entertaining
comics on the market. With the developments of the last
two issues, Kirkman and crew will finally be moving past
the territory where other zombie stories end. Get into it.
The Walking Dead is a better book,
but I'd still rather look at Wonder Woman.
the new Wonder Woman #1 is like
getting hit in the face with a cinder block wrapped in lingerie;
although there’s something nearly appealing about
it, the experience is painful, stupefying, and just plain
new volume opens with a new Wonder Woman. No, not Diana
in a different costume (that’s next issue), but instead
Donna Troy in a new costume. Of course, street hoods these
days are smarter than they used to be, and they’re
not going to settle for just any superbabe in a golden bra,
so when the newly humanized Cheetah (i.e. no fur
or tail), Giganta, and Dr. Psycho kidnap Steve Trevor, they
want the real Wonder Woman and not some cheap replacement.
nice thing I can say about this book: it’s good to
see the Dodsons actually draw a woman who couldn’t
wear a D-cup. Not a selling point for the male audience,
but female readers might appreciate the restraint.
everything else about this book is a mess. It reads like
Allan Heinberg was trying to recapture the spirit of early
Wonder Woman comics; the spirit being light bondage, mind-numbing
exposition, and an emphasis on character introductions.
Really, do we need that paragraph telling us Giganta’s
origin? She’s a chick that gets bigger. Delve into
her psyche or have her play croquet with skyscrapers, but
don’t use origin story blurbs to fill out the script
(especially when your main character’s origin story
is such a mess).
might expect, they try to pique our interest with a stunning
revelation at the end of the book, but I think any Wonder
Woman fan will cringe at the prospects “to be continued."
This is just about the complete opposite of Greg Rucka’s
run on the last volume and so far from Perez it may be time
to give up ever reaching those heights again.