Nudity always proves honesty.

Tough Enough 3

I'd say that this double Tough Enough is a kind of early Christmas present to you all, my dear readers, but I'd be lying. I've been too busy and tired and burnt out on all things wrestling to make my deadlines.

And while a great deal of the fault lies with me, more may lie with the MTV/WWE production staff. There's not much driving this season of the show; Jonah's already won the personality contest, and the show has cut back enormously on the wrestling footage, so we don't know who's winning the talent portion of the competition.

There's a pattern the show is following, which veers dangerously close to a rut. Prank, close call in the ring, prank, special guest star, physical challenge, emotional stress.

Not to say that these aren't the things from which great television can be made; seasons one and two of Tough Enough were riveting and fun. But the WWE is in it's own rut, and the creative lull is rubbing off on this show as well.

To their credit, the producers did try to change up the format this year, but there's not enough new stuff making it to the air to make it interesting. Don't get me wrong; I still think this is one of the best reality shows on TV, and it's still entertaining, but it's just not filling me with a blinding urge to share my thoughts.

Or maybe it's all been downhill since Jonah's prank to end all pranks.

Airdate: 12-12-02

The Icelandic exploits continue, with snowmobiling, spelunking, and shark meat. Rotted shark meat in Jonah's shoes.

Jonah stars in this episode, as both potential winner and total jackass. His behavior in front of the Iceland TV cameras and some of the locals, not to mention one of his comments, don't seem too incendiary to me, but they really piss Bill off.

Now it may be that Bill rides Jonah so hard not only because he sees in this meatball a future pro, but also because he likes him. It may be that Bill is truly pissed off. It may be a ploy to get Jonah and the others to think before they speak.

One of the failings of this season is, however, Bill; he's impossible to get a handle on. It makes him an interesting person, but muddies the overall sense of drama and meaning and therefore can't serve the larger narrative. He's funny, and doubtless a very good trainer, but it's hard to know how whether to take him seriously or with a grain of salt, which makes it hard to know where our sympathies should lie. Maybe I'm getting a bit too overly analytical.

Following an abysmally bad rowing session, the contestants and trainers choke down a meal at a Viking restaurant, which included rotted shark meat. Rather than eat his, and who can blame him, Jonah hides his in his shoes. The others can still smell it, though, but stop suspecting Jonah after he strips naked to prove that he didn't hide it. (How that proves it, I'm not sure, but it did the trick.)

He plans to sneak the shark-infested shoes into Al's room while he sleeps, but that backfires when Al busts them and threatens to get them ALL back when they return to LA.

Jamie, a future diva in her own mind, gains a bit of respect by surviving the powerlifting challenge and receiving a compliment from one of the World's Strongest Men. She also starts an immediate new trend among the cast members, trainers, and my house, of saying "Diva!" after every belch. Seriously, even Bill says it quietly to the camera.

Much like they did in South Africa last season, the contestants have their first public match in front of local kids; John and Jonah take the honors, and though they overplay it a bit, they look pretty good. Especially after only 8 weeks of training.

Three weeks to go, and back to California!

Airdate: 12-19-02

It's getting a lot more intense, both in the ring and out of it. The euphemisms are getting uglier (Bill: "I don't want to be in the ring with someone who can't hold his mud.") and the attitudes are fluctuating wildly.

Jonah is a slob in the house and is losing his grip in the ring, too. But he maintains his strong lead as the Mr. Congeniality, especially after Al and Bill sneak into the house to perpetrate a shaving cream snowstorm. Amidst the foamy white revenge, Jonah shakes his fist and cries "I'll get you, Al Snow, if it's the last thing I do!"

Ivory chooses a physical challenge, with dubious results. The plan is for each of the contestants to practice falling off various things, progressing higher and higher up a scaffold until they are falling 40 feet onto a large crash cushion. Ideally, they will learn how to keep their body awareness and proper form, even while falling, a skill that will serve them well if they ever want to top Shane McMahon's fabulous falls.

It doesn't go quite as planned; Jonah, as the guinea pig for each new platform, is more than a little scared of heights, and completely loses his cool on the 30 foot platform and falls with all the form of a corpse in a carpet. They stop the challenge, most wisely, but Jonah feels bad and most of the others blame him for ruining it.

Looking for some consolation, Jonah calls his girlfriend, who doesn't give Jonah the warm response he wants. He starts to worry, about her and about his future, and his chances to win; a nagging little doubt in the back of his mind that progresses further and further throughout the episode.

Chris Benoit visits to show off his super-fast suplex and amazing technical skills, and to oversee a few rounds in the ring. His criticisms are measured and appropriate, and his compliments are not given lightly. What we've seen of the wrestling certainly shows that these kids have a long way to go, but they're doing well enough to impress the rabid wolverine, and that's saying something.

But Jonah is still depressed. He drinks and drinks and drinks some more, vomiting blithely out the side of the car and all over his shirt, earning himself the distinction of being the new Scott, according to his housemates. He ditches a character workshop at the Improv Olympics to talk to his girlfriend again, thereby robbing us of a chance to see his potential skills on the stick, to see what his character might look like, and maybe to see him win one of the contracts. (Quoth Jordan Rosa, fellow fanboy: "Chicks ruin everything." And right now, I agree.)

I sincerely hope Jonah does not choose to leave; none of the other contestants hold a candle to him in regard to his look or personality, and I don't see much chance of him being cut. If he's worried about his relationship, or his emotional health, he needs to have a talk with Al or any of the numerous other wrestlers who maintained families even while on the road, and if he's worried that he can't cut it, then he needs to take a look around. He's already cutting it.

See you in two weeks - Happy New Year!

Sarah Stanek