Yes, she abused the winter break. So what?

Tough Enough 3

Herein lies the problem with the natural ebb and flow of the rasslin' business: as the main product suffers, so suffer the subsidiaries. So suffers Tough Enough under the oppressive dead weight of the prime-time parent programs.

I'm so disinterested in wrestling right now -- the lack of a clear enjoyable superstar, the drop in continuity and quality, the clear pandering to lower denominators than I can even enjoy ironically -- that I just plain don't care who wins this probably final round of Tough Enough.

No matter who they are, they're either going to languish in development for approximate eons, or be thoroughly wasted once they're on the shows -- not because other Tough Enough winners have been, but because right now, EVERYONE who could be promising is languishing or wasted. The company is in flux, and nurturing these last Tough Enough winners is probably not going to be high on the list of things to do to fix the WWE.

I addressed some of my other problems with the show itself when last we met, and those haven't really changed either, but so very very little has happened in the past three episodes that I just haven't felt like taking the energy to expound upon them. (Also, I really enjoyed the winter break. Can't you tell?)

Airdate 1-2-03

Jonah was still on the fence about his dedication and determination, and thankfully goes straight to Al to talk it over, rather than Big or Bill, both of whom would give good advice but probably not with the same perspective as well-known family man Al Snow. Gently, Al tells Jonah that no matter what he decides, it will be hard, and it will have to be his own decision. Because if he lets someone else decide, it's clear that he's not doing this for himself in the first place.

That does backfire a bit, as the next cut is announced for the next day. Bill says Jonah's heart keeps him in, Big says there's still too much doubt to let him continue. Al casts his vote with Bill, not holding Jonah's trepidation against him, but he still doesn't look happy when the cut meeting ends.

Justin gets the axe, sparing both Jonah and Jamie. The remaining cast members have grown extremely close as the weeks have gone by, so morale drops considerably after they say goodbye. To combat this, the trainers bring the fun in two different ways. First, Bradshaw swings by to hang with the gang at Yankee Doodle's, the bar of choice, and they all drink a lot of beer. (Because that's a morale booster if ever I've heard of one.) John throws up a little.

And in the ring, the trainers bring out the crash mats and teach the final five how to do a moonsault. This moment in training has been a highlight for all three seasons, and I have no doubt it's one of the highlights for the contestants, too. Brutal, though, especially once they take the crash pad away and replace it with a person.

Airdate: 1-9-03

This episode brought on a lot of conversation, so I'll stick to the heart of it. The former trainers, Jacquelynn, Chavo, and Bob Holly, come for a working visit. They're joined by the three Tough Enough kids on the active roster, Nidia, Maven, and Harvard Chris. They all wrestle, and for the most part, they all look pretty good.

Chris points out that he's the one the remaining five have the most in common with; he didn't win. But he made it into the show anyway. I understand why the producers wouldn't show it, but I hope he went into a decent amount of detail off-camera, because this is the most valuable information these kids can have right now. Three of them aren't going to win, and it will then depend on them to get their butts into the WWE.

During a big tag team match, Bob Holly beats the living crap out of Matt, and here enters the central conflict of the episode. Though Matt was very gracious after having his ribs pounded and his eye blackened, shaking Bob's hand and thanking him for his time, he's obviously shaken. As he recovers, probably as he stiffens up and realizes how much he just plain hurts, he withdraws more and more until it's clear that he's not just hurting physically.

Jonah does his best to console him, and everyone else tries to help lighten his mood, but it's time to call in the big guns. Again showing remarkably good judgement for a meatball, Jonah calls Bill, who with his hardass persona and close relationship with the contestants, is exactly the right man for the job.

Matt's main problem is he feels his trust was abused; Bob wasn't working with him, and gave him no clue what to expect. This is a valid point, certainly, as the lack of communication in the ring can often have disastrous and even dangerous repercussions. Furthermore, he's confused as to why it was even necessary to have the living snot beaten out of him in the first place.

My take is this: Bob was a trainer last season, and probably expected this cast to be up to the same speed, which they aren't. At least not when it comes to taking bumps. And that's precisely because they're not used to working with Bob. Bill is a tough guy, sure, but he doesn't work near as stiff as Hardcore Holly. Bob immediately saw Matt's potential, and chose to teach him a valuable lesson, which was "SUCK IT UP."

To his credit, Matt did so instinctually. Bill tells him as much, too. He did what was right for the business. I have no doubt that Bob meant every kick to connect and hurt; I don't think he was trying to abuse Matt's trust, and I think the very fact that Al didn't step in to protect his kids should have proven that.

Still, it's best for Bill to handle the aftermath, and he does a very good job explaining that what's right for the business isn't always what's right for you as a person, but if you choose the business, you have to, that's right, suck it up.

In an incredibly moving, timely coincidence, Bill receives a call that night that his mentor, Rocco, has died.

To lighten the mood, Al and Bill return in the dead of night to continue the pranking. The contestants fight back with water guns, and the contest ends in a draw. Jamie repeats Jonah's "I'll get you Al Snow" line, but rather than being a grating imitation, it's obvious that it's become a running gag.

Airdate: 1-16-03

Three days left. A montage of the wrestling status of each contestant. John can execute a shooting star press from the mat. Jonah looks good, Jamie looks surprisingly good, Eric is a hard worker. Matt gets crazy mad air from the top rope.

To put a coda on the prank wars, Matt excuses himself at lunch to take Al's tires and block his car.

Two days left. A legend visits, a man who personifies this business more than any other, a man with a lot to teach any young wrestler. (Commercial break -- now this is how to make a show interesting! Why wasn't there more of this?) Ric Flair, the Nature Boy, shares some very profound words with the cast.

Al brings in Mike Chioda, a Smackdown! referee, to oversee some of their last matches. Sadly, we don't see very much of the footage, and what we do see is no doubt edited to make them look as good as possible.

Tazz stalks in, hovers over Jonah, and makes plans to take the contestants out to the canyon for one last round the next morning at 6am. He joins them for dinner at the house, plays some PS2, loses to Ivory (each, naturally, playing as themselves) and finally announces a visit to the Smackdown taping.

Oh, and he relents about the canyon, so they face their final day with happy hearts.

The backstage tour and the taping (in San Diego, if any of you care to go fussing around for the timeline) produces the same starry eyed reaction it did in the previous two casts, with a different tinge to it this time. These five are all much closer than the previous visitors. They can almost taste it, and are at the same time wisely more apprehensive of the enormity of life in the WWE.

Of course it all flies out the window when they meet Vince (in the absence of any other major superstars to impress them), because no one respects and reveres the business the way Vince does, and nothing can make your heart race faster than trying to impress your potential future boss.

Next week, it's all decided. The hour-long live show will announce the two winner out of a final list of four. That's right, four. Put your mark on this season of Tough Enough by voting one person out of the running before next week's finale. Vote one of the final five off at MTV.com, then wait to see which of the remaining four get the contracts.

My choices to win, worth exactly a hill of nothing, are Jonah and Matt.

Sarah Stanek