Falls Count Anywhere

11-21-03

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Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I've watched more short films than you.

SmackDown!
Vince McMahon opened the show with a little bit of himself. It wasn't a great promo to start, just about average for Vinny. He looked gross all done out. Sable wore something that posed as a dress but that really made her look HOTTER than naked. LOUD "You Suck!" chant. When he was finished talking about his injuries, he was on. He sold it as if Undertaker were dead, which the last time they did that failed miserably.

Once Cena came out, he started cutting a sweet promo on The Boss. Cena is so good on the mic. It was a classic, 1980 snap session. Vince was classic yelling "I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon!" and basically looking enraged.

The long Brock backstage segment was better than normal. I really like Brock's charisma in these pieces. Doing the set-up for a bunch of singles matches to prove themselves was a good idea. He was very Sgt. Slaughter whenever he had a Survivor Series team. These type of concepts add a theme to the show, which I enjoy. Give us a sense of import, dammit!

Akio of the Yakuza took on Rey Mysterio in a match that was really good. I am a fan of these guys, and this was a solid intro. I loved Akio as Jimmy Yang, and here he is stronger. Akio with an awesome flipkick into the corner. An out and back and out and back again headscissors take down by Mysterio. He was in constant rotational motion for like 5 seconds, which was amazing. The crowd was getting into it with a Mysterio Swinging DDT. A missed Skytwister press by Akio that led to Rey-Rey getting the 619 and the West Coast Pop for the win. Akio hit on his head HARD at the finish, but seemed OK after.

Shaniqua was beating on the Bashems as Paul Heyman was walking by as a sort of post-Survivor Series celebration. Weird, but it reminds me that there is no I in BDS&M.

Shannon Moore got stuck with Matt Morgan in a match that went way too long for my tastes. There was a great opening staredown where Moore showed more charisma than Nathan Jones and Matt Morgan combined. Shannon went for a headscissors, but Morgan just stopped him and slammed him face first. Man, Moore took a solid boot to the face. Huge biel over the top rope to the outside that should have gotten Morgan over if they let him lose by countout. It worked for the Bezerker back in the day. Giving Morgan the powerbomb doesn't help him as it's not a unique finisher anymore.

I don't much like A-Train when he's not in there with Benoit or Angle, so his feud with Bradshaw is not on my Year's Best list. Bradshaw is a better personality that a wrestler. A-Train appears to have trimmed himself a bit. Nothing like shorn shoulders to raise a man's spirits.

Hey, Chris Benoit pulled off a miracle by getting a match out of Nathan Jones. He should get sainthood for such a feat. Jones was obviously carried, but he actually tried to work. Putting Benoit over was the right way to go, as it gave him two wins over big guys, making him a viable contender. Hardcore Holly ran-in and made the save. Holly and Brock are a great, physical feud waiting to happen.

"Yes, he's as dead as a comic book character..."

Kane's eulogy was good, but the crowd died about half-way through. Kane has talent in his role, but they need to learn more about pacing with these segments.

Tajiri and Jamie Noble had a match that featured a ton of kicking. I like kicking. It was a good match, and Noble looked OK, but the finish with Nidia coming out like a cartoon blind person was lame. Noble sells like a cruiserweight Terry Funk with lots of his spread legged swinging and dropping to his knees. Sweet Tiger Driver by Noble. Nidia looks hot in fur and cut-offs. Man, I want a full length fur coat.

I'm bothered by the fact that The World's Greatest Tag Team and Los Guerreros got about 4 minutes. The segment with Paul E. and TWGTT backstage was nice to see. Haas looked good selling that he was annoyed with Paul. The match was short, with Haas using the Old School LionTamer! HUGE spinning headscissors from Chavo! Seems to be the move of the night. It was like 1996 when Jushin Liger had his brain tumor and could only do a two minute match with Ultimo Dragon, which turned out to be the most action packed two minute match ever. This was all action. The match was good for what it was, but this match made it obvious that they are using the Hart vs. Hart feud of 1994 as a pattern for the Guerrero break-up. The beatdown by TWGTT was sweet, especially using the chair to wrench Chavo's knee.

Somebody call my Momma! The Cat is coming to SmackDown! next week. I really think he can be effective on Smackdown.

Big Show in a Main Event is not a good idea. Cena in a Main Event is necessary at this moment. Show threw Cena around all over the place. Giving Cena a clean victory would have been nice, but they have it in their head that they are making Cena into Austin and not into a true face like they need at the moment. Cena looked good, but there was only so much he could do in the match. I'm hoping that Cena gets a good feud in the short term to set him up.

All in all, I liked this show, as there were two matches that I really enjoyed, a couple that were passable, and a couple of good interviews. They seem to be backing off on Eddy's push, which I think is bad.

News
Not a whole lot. RAW did a respectable 3.6 this week. Jacky Gayda popped out of her top and I missed it!

FlashBack!
Jimmy Superfly Snuka was one of the true innovators in professional wrestling. He brought a style to the heavyweight division that had not been seen in the US. He was much like Mil Mascaras, high-ish flyin' and proud of it. He became a huge star all around the world, and had a feud that will forever be remembered.

About to take a flying leap....

He was a bodybuilder first, winning Mr. Hawaiian Islands three times. His best bench press mark was 525, which was remarkable for a man of his frame. Now, that wouldn't even be noticed, but in the late 1960s, it was thought of as amazing. He was turned onto wrestling by Hawaiian legend Dean Ho. He started wrestling in 1969 and went from Portland to Texas to the Carolinas, having great matches with guys like Paul Orndorff, Ricky Steamboat and Greg Valentine. His tag team with Ray "The Crippler" Stevens was also legendary. He entered the WWWF in 1979, but didn't turn face until about 1982, when he had the feud that would change wrestling.

Don Muraco was a Hawaiian wrestler who was a great worker, but poorly motivated. He would make some money, then go back to Hawaii and spend it, then come back and work some more. It was a good life, and he partied hard. He was Intercontinental Champion in 1983, and Snuka had just returned from one of his many trips to Japan. As Snuka was in the ring about to start his match, Muraco comes out and starts jawing, which he was very good at. After a few minutes of that, Snuka delivers the first heavyweight plancha in WWF history. The small studio audience went nuts for it, and the two brawled at the ring side.

A couple of weeks later, Snuka is in the ring and Muraco comes out and spits at him, setting off another brawl, but this time, the lockerroom empties to pull them apart. Muraco takes the opportunity to nail Superfly with the ring mic. Snuka bladed deep, just dripping blood everywhere. Vince McMahon then did an interview with Jimmy. This was a great interview, as he just got more and more enraged and eventually stood up and started throwing chairs around in the empty arena. Snuka was never much of a talker, but that one interview did make him seem like the most intense wrestler ever.

The two had great matches all over the Northeast. The two sold out most of the smaller arenas and played to some big crowds at the larger ones. The feud continued on, leading to the classic match that the feud would be remembered for

A legend still going...on his own terms...

Snuka and Muraco met in a Steel Cage match in October of 1983. The match was pretty good, especially with Snuka involved. Both men did fantastic blade jobs and the crowd was near rioting the whole way through. Snuka hit Muraco, sending him flying back through the door, out to the ringside, giving him the win, allowing him to keep his title. Snuka, not at all happy with losing, dragged The Magnificent One back in the ring, slammed him, then climbed to the top of the cage, delivering his famous Superfly splash.

Most folks think this was the first time that the top of the cage had been used for jumping off of, but that is not the case. Snuka missed a Superfly Splash off the top in 1979 against champion Bob Backlund. I believe that Ray Stevens had done a Bombs Away Knee drop off the cage in the 1970s, but I can't prove it. The spot was still memorable for what it inspired.

Mick Foley hitchhiked from Long Island to see the match, and has talked at length about how it influenced him and his style. Tommy Dreamer was there, too. The high risk, high impact style definitely has roots in that one spot.

Snuka and Muraco were actually friends, and they teamed in ECW in 1993. They have worked many smaller feds together over the years, always playing off the legendary run of 1983. Snuka is now sixty, mostly retired, though he shows up from time to time. Muraco runs a small fed out of Hawaii that has gotten a little notice.

That's another Falls Count Anywhere week. More next week.

Chris Garcia