Falls Count Anywhere

11-14-03

Four-year-olds understand me.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I just bought a four year-old her first comic book.

SmackDown!
Well, putting Angle in the ring with Nathan Jones was a good idea, as he pulled something that almost resembled a match. Angle is so smart in the way he lays out his matches. They obviously sweetened the sound on this match to make the crowd seem like they gave a damn.

Okay, I don't know if they sweetened it that much, but the crowd seemed like it loved Holly's return to the ring. There were people in the front who were chanting, but that was loud, so I don't know. Heyman ordered Holly to not pursue Lesnar since he wasn't medically cleared. Paul E. was great here, doing the classic heel commish thing where he made it seem like he was making sense.

As opposed to Vince. What the F**K was Vince saying? I get it; it was supposed to get the match over as something important, but it was weird beyond belief. He soiled himself? How does that make him something I want to see fight? What the hell? Vince, come back to us!

I like Tajiri, and I like Akio and Sakada a lot too. His beatdown of Jamie Noble was cool and Mysterio did a messed up headscissors that turned into an awesome and weird lucha thing. This could be a great feud, and Nidia is gonna be coming back with a new set of knockers, so her absence won't be in vain.

The Tag match between Akio and Sakada and Mysterio and Jamie Noble was pretty fun, but not super. The Yakuza did some awesome moves, like a triangle chose in the ropes. A sweet dropkick that made the four year-old go "Whoa." A fun little match.

The "Eddy having to go to be with his wife" moment was lame, but it let us have Eddy on the show on Sunday. Chavo getting the match moved was OK, but Shaniqua is coming into her own.

Undertaker did a promo that was better than last week's and also helped to get the idea into people's heads that they will be bringing him back as Old School Taker. A nice finish by throwing dirt onto the camera.

Chavo's match with the Bashems was OK. I like Chavo a lot. The Bashems are looking better. Huge backdrop that sent Doug high and flat! Chavo with a sweet dropkick and swinign DDT combination. It got better as it went on, but it wasn't amazing. Chavo did a baseball slide taking out Shaniqua. I like the Top Rope Spinebuster a lot too. This set things up nicely. The reveal of the fact that the Sister injury was a set-up was transparent, but at least it made it all happen.

I like the Benoit "What the hell are you thinking, Kurt" interview from Benoit. He's not a great promo, but he can deliver in a solid moment. It was intense and when Cena came out, it all started working.

How to use Bradshaw: First, have a guy of his size throw him around a bit. That makes the big guy seem tough. For some reason, the crowd believes that Bradshaw is the real deal. Perhaps it's because he's one of the toughest legit guys on the roster.

"This town needs an enema..."

What the hell is Vince thinking? The thing with the priest was lame, since it didn't get him over at all, and the priest was awful. Hallow-ed? Vince did the classic heel "I want to be good, but no…I really wanna be real evil" thing. It didn't work, like all the other times since Pillman did it the first time.

I am loving these Earnest the Cat Miller intros. They are just what you need to do to bring a guy in hot. They used to do it in the old days, and it seems to be working.

Cena was great in calling the guys on Team Lesnar queer, in very florid tones. Hey, Method Man is in the audience. It was a great intro, especially when he busted out the training bra for Brock. That made me chuckle. He's gonna be a great face for a while.

The Benoit/Cena vs. Big Show and Lesnar match was good enough. There was a lack of heat at some points, but they did pick the crowd up a few times throughout. Cena looked good in with Brock. Big Show didn't look that bad. The match moved well, which was the result of having Brock to guide Cena and Benoit to pull Big Show into the game. I like Brock using the Fisherman Suplex (or the Perfectplex) as a transition move. It's a good move that we need to see more of. Benoit tossed a HUGE German Suplex. This got good.

It was a solid, but far from perfect show. Too much weird McMahon stuff, though some of the wrestling was really good. The ending was the highlight and I am glad they didn't show Cena taking out Benoit.

News
Kurt Angle's neck is giving him trouble again. That's a bad sign, as he may have come back too soon. He's still working, but it is a worry. He's a Hall of Famer if he can stay healthy for another couple of years.

Lance Storm was also hurt this weekend, and thus did not work this weekend and didn't wrestle on RAW.

Oh, yeah, they need him...

They are also talking about bringing in Mick Foley for WrestleMania. Whether it will be a match or just showing up, no one knows, but it should be good.

Michael P.S.Hayes is in the dog house for pushing through his ideas and claiming the locker room was completely behind him in having John Cena attack Benoit after their match. He lied, as everyone thought it was a bad idea, and they eventually edited it off of the show. He also made an ass of himself at Stephanie's wedding, which may have been the first sign that something like that was on the horizon. Once a Freebird…

FlashBack!
Looking at the history of Survivor series, you notice that one man has been in a bunch, has been successful and has had a ton of great matches. His name is Bret Hart and he deserves a little bit of love.

He was there for the first one, participating in the Tag Team elimination match. The foundation had just come out of the classic feud with the British Bulldogs, Dynamite Kid and the late Davey-Boy Smith. They had some classic matches at WrestleMania and on house shows around the world. Both teams were in the match and they were easily the highlights of the match, along with the Killer Bees. Bret lost his first appearance at Survivor Series, but still made an impression.

The Bulldogs and the Foundation were on the same team at the second edition, teaming with The Rockers, featuring future Bret opponent Shawn Michaels. The match was really good, not as good as the first year, but near that level. Bret looked great, especially when he was working with Tully Blanchard or Arn Anderson. At the end of the show, he was 1-1 in Survivor Series Matches.

The third SS match Bret served in was with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, former NWA champion Ronnie Garvin, and Hercules Hernandez against Randy Savage's team. Bret did the job, and was back down 1-2.

Fourth go-round featured Bret and his partner Jim Neidhart teaming with Dusty Rhodes, and Koko B. Ware. Bret lasted to the end, being pinned by Ted DiBiase in a match that was more notable for the debut of the Undertaker. Bret was 1-3.

Show him the love.

1991 came around and Ric Flair came into the WWF and they naturally wanted to put him in the ring with Bret. Flair was feuding with Roddy Piper. Piper's team featured Bret Hart, Virgil and Davey Boy Smith. Flair featured Ted DiBiase, The Mountie (Jacques Rougeau), and The Warlord. Bret's team fell again, but this was the only time other than the Royal Rumble that The Million Dollar Man, Davey Boy, Flair and Bret were in the ring at the same time.

The 1992 edition saw Shawn Michaels and Bret go at it for the first time on Pay-Per-View. The match was fantastic, nearly the level of Match of the Year, but not quite. Bret was 2-4 in 6 matches.

Boston Garden and the 1993 Series saw Bret team with brothers Owen, Keith and Bruce against Shawn Michaels and his Knights. Shawn took a punch from Stu (tap-tap-kiss-point) and won again, bring him to a more solid 3-4.

The best match of Survivor Series was the Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund match that I wrote about last week. Bret lost the match and his title, and went down to 3-5. Losing in a match like that really did him some good. He worked a great match and managed to keep his star shining bright.

Diesel vs. Bret Hart changed the WWF forever, as Bret won after being beaten on for nearly 20 minutes and going through a table, a first in the WWF at the time. The match was really good, and Bret won the World Title, making him 4-5.

Bret Hart and Steve Austin put on one hell of a match during the 1996 edition. I wrote that one up, too, and it was great. It pulled Bret up to .500.

If Bret really never wrestles again, the King of Survivor Series will forever be 5-6, as Vince McMahon pulled a legit double-cross and had Shawn Michaels take the title from him. It was the classic betrayal that really helped the WWF make the turn-around.

Eleven editions (I think Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker have been at more) and he had some great matches. He won a world title, and lost a couple of them. He had a huge impact on the WWF, and the final match he wrestled in the WWF was the most important of modern times.

That's another week. Next week, I'll do a round-up of SS activities and the like.

Chris Garcia