Falls Count Anywhere

08-08-03

When I say Samoan Madman, I'm really thinking of a dessert involving those coconut Girl Scout Cookies.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and I'm gonna give ya a few more breathin' holes.

SmackDown!
Eddy opens things up with his powder blue low rider. It gives a nice setting for the heat that he draws once he gets in the ring or starts to talk on the mic. Chris Benoit looks good coming out to the big Edmonton pop, but Guerrero is still set up for a huge push.

The match itself is good, as expected, and a little faster than the one from the PPV. The ground work is solid, and they work the match very smartly. Huge back suplex by Eddy that just folded Chris in thirds. HUGE powerbomb by Benoit, but he goes to the top, which means that we get interference from Rhyno. Nice to see Tajiri getting involved in things, giving him a real storyline to play in. Good stuff. The restart idea is good too.

Tajiri and Rhyno held their own in this one too. Tajiri and Benoit could have a good house show with Rhyno and Guerrero. I love Tajiri's kicks, and he made it look great this week. Huge back suplex on Rhyno from Benoit. The match worked right up to the end. Very nice match to open with, setting the tone for these feuds.

Kurt Angle gave a nice interview as usual. Always solid stuff from Kurt.

Wow, Zach Gowen is entertaining on the mat. Nunzio is always great, and I like Matt on commentary. Nice moonsault onto Nunzio while he's in the ropes. Very innovative boy, that Gowen lad. His offense is varied, considering that the kid only has ONE FREAKING LEG!!! Sweet bump from Shannon to the floor! Why are they jobbing Gowen so much?

The Undertaker vs. John Cena match was long, long, long, but not too bad. It was edited to the point that it moved OK, and there was enough heat to keep it going. I'm not a fan of the finish, as John Cena needs to go over on his own to make up for the job he did at the PPV. The announcing was weak, but the ideas were right.

Doug Bashem beat the hell out of Jamie Noble with those hooking forearms to Jamie's forehead. I love the Bashems, but they are getting no sort of push. Jamie Noble unleashes a PHAT top rope elbow drop. The match was OK, but they should be pushing the Bashems in tag. Billy Gunn makes the save as retribution for the fact that Jamie shared both Torrie and Nidia with him last week. Weird.

Haas and Rey have a fun little match. Rey is always a god, and Russ has been pulling great submission stuff. That standing backbreaker was awesome, and the Haas of Pain is a great movie. A fun, fast short little match that shows why Haas is going to be great, and Rey is the best flyer in the biz.

But will it change the ratings?

The main event was just an obvious excuse to do the turn of Brock Lesnar. The match was nothing, but the beating was strong enough to make me smile. Brock is better as a heel, but he'll still get face reactions a lot of places. It doesn't open up much in the way of new challengers, though.

I'd say that the show overall was typical SmackDown! Good matches, but the storylines weren't advanced too far. The Kurt Angle and Vince McMahon stuff is only OK. Get Vince out! Don't bring back Steph! Bring in Shane!

NEWS
Well, there was a Hair vs. Hair match set up for Ring of Honor between Raven and C.M. Punk, but now it's not going to happen due to Raven's contract with TNA-NWA. Ring of Honor is some of the best wrestling in the world right now. Get the tapes!

The WWE's Torrie has been credited with a big spike in Playboy's sales. The quarter was lower than expected, but Torrie's issue was the bright spot.

John Cena is making his rap album. I'd say it'll do OK for a week or two on the charts, if they push it on TV, but with the way they've been pushing things on TV, that's not a given.

FlashBack!
It was a dark and stormy night in Providence, RI when I ran into Randy Macho Man Savage. We were staying in the same hotel as the wrestlers, right next to the arena. I didn't get an autograph, I just said "Hi" and he walked on. That was that. Now, why am I opening a FlashBack with this? Because I wanted to open the column with It Was A Dark And Stormy Night. But where do I go from here? To the elevator where I rode up with Afa the Wild Samoan.

Now that's a Samoan Madman.

The Wild Samoans were Afa and Sika, though over the years there have been dozens of them in one form or another. They were dominant in tag team ranks in the WWWF from the late 1970s, especially in the early 1980s when they held the WWF tag team belts three times. They also had runs in the territories where they would come in and beat the tar out of a few teams before heading back to McMahon the Elder.

I rode up with Afa, who was managing the Headshrinkers, and he didn't say much until we got out of the elevator and a couple of kid fans asked to take a picture. He grabbed his hair, pulled up and turned into the Samoan Madman I had grown up watching.

The moment that I think of instantly when I think of the Wild Samoans came on November 15th, 1983. The match was held in Allentown, PA during one of the WWF's TV tapings. The Samoans, who had been champs for about 8 months, were taking on Tony Atlas and Rocky "The Rock's Dad" Johnson for the WWF Tag Team titles. The match was pretty standard, with lots of headbutts from all the participants. The Samoans had been managed by Capt. Lou Albano, who climbed up on the apron at the finish with the chair. Afa, I think, held Rocky as Capt. Lou pulled the old school wooden chair back.

Before Lou could rain wood down on Johnson, he broke free and the Captain brought the chair over Afa's head, shattering it into splinters and leaving it hanging around his neck. Atlas got the pin and the crowd popped huge for the whole scene.

That moment was played up for years, even when the WWF started releasing videos and listed it as "the greatest wrestling blooper of all time." Nowadays, you can do that spot as a throwaway, but then it was huge, led to a title change and got mentioned over and over again over the years. Nothing comes close to this sort of impact in recent years…well, except maybe the Montreal Finish that we'll never be rid of.

That's all for this week. Next week, we've got more fun for ya'll.

Chris Garcia