Falls Count Anywhere

07-25-03

Would the people from From Parts Unknown please tell me they love me?

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and I'm calmer than you are.

SmackDown!
The opening angle with Steph and John Cena was very entertaining, especially with Cena's goofball delivery. Smack that ass, Johnny! Then Sable came on and ruined everything. Seriously, these two are awful together, and someone is gonna get seriously hurt from their brawls.

The Mattitude vs. Misterio and Kidman match was really good, but could have been longer. I like the team of Billy and Rey, and this could easily build to a face vs face feud for the Cruiserweight belt. I'd dig that. Rey busted out some sweet flying Jazz, and the way that Shannon Moore took the Hurrincanrana into the ropes to set up a 619 was sweet.

Hey, We got that brawl between Sable and Steph. Man, it sucked…save for the boobs. Steph looked a little hotter than usual this week.

Hey, the Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble match wasn't good, but Gunn did bust out a sweet hiptoss into a suplex, and the finish with the swinging slam into the Rock Bottom was sweet. I'd call it a swinging urinage. Torrie's gonna do Jamie on TV next week. Awesome, as it proves I have a shot with her.

The APA skit was lame, until they brought in Steve Lombardi. He denied being the Brooklyn Brawler, even though he was totally into getting his hands on Doink the Clown. Funny stuff. I still don't like Bradshaw's new look.

Man, Cena in the flaming pentagram was a great promo. Am I the only one who sees that he is the next big talker in the biz? Yeah, it's a silly gimmick, but I really think it allows him to use his great talking skills. Hey, he brought up the sacrifice angle and Midian! Nice.

Chris Garcia (is my favourite wrestling columnist).

Whoa, Eddy is rolling in a 1964 Impala, the same type I used to drive! More reasons that I should declare the Eddy Guerrero is my Favorite Wrestler. They spent too much time on his entrance, but I love the fact that they are willing to give him more air time.

Man, Fresno is all about Latino Heat. The way they are portraying Eddy should hurt his cred with a largely Mexican fan base like Fresno, but no, it only seems to make him hotter to the crowd.

And the guy can talk in his gimmick. Eddy gave a solid interview that the crowd bought. Eddy is every bit as good as Benoit. They'll both make it into the Hall of Fame before they are done. They redid the classic Blassie blinding angle with Benoit and I am all for it. Rhyno mispronouncing Cojones will not win the crowd over.

Decent match between Rhyno and Eddy, with an awesome Powerbomb into a Snake Eyes. The crowd loves Eddy, even though he is totally booked as the heel. While not a great match, it speaks volumes as to why you should put guys who are big in their area in the headline matches while they are in town. Eddy should never job in California or Texas. The smirk and wink to the camera was great.

APA vs. FBI. Great way to work Saddam into the angle of the Barroom Brawl. The match was 'eh, as Bradshaw is still hurt, but he can still deliver that clothesline from hell. Yeah, take 'em out Brawler! The preview of the APA Invitational was needed, but I doubt it'll help the heat at all.

Man, Zach got a good pop showing up on the screen. He's gonna be big for at least six months. Vince plays the dick so well, and this Gowen feud lets him do it to the fullest.

Well, the main event was solid, and the idea of letting Zach Gowen in for a limited time was smart, since it keeps him fresh for the PPV. Big Show was only used for the big guy spots, which is smart. Benjamin was good, and Angle was great as usual. Those overhead suplexes that Brock was tossing were HUGE. A strong match, but the ending was pretty transparent.

I'd say this was a builder episode, with a few good matches, but not much else. I am going to hate Sable vs. Steph as their stuff has been awful.

Yeah, Sofia Coppola eventually surprised us, too.

Quick Predictions for Vengeance
Stephanie beats Sable, just because of her last name.

Mr. McMahon loses to Zach Gowen, or else they have wasted Gowen big time.

The APA wins, or at least survives their APA Invitational, whatever the hell that will be.

Mysterio and Kidman lose to The World's Best Tag Team. It makes a lot of sense to build to a superstar tag team like TWGTT, and Rey needs to defend his belt more.

Billy Gunn jobs to Jamie Noble just to make the angle for next week happen.

Eddy Guerrero wins the US title tourney over Chris Benoit.

Lesnar beats Angle and Big Show. That's obvious.

FlashBack!
The WWE restaurant story will have to wait, 'cause the Wrestling Observer Newsletter is having their Hall of Fame issue coming up, and I wanted to give my thoughts. Here are a few of the people who are on the ballot that I think should be in, plus an extra couple of people.

First, I should explain that the ballot is given to a lot of folks in the industry, historians, active and retired wrestlers, and reporters. To get in, 60% of the voters who vote for people in your region, Mexico, North America/Europe, or Japan, have to include you among their ten names. If a wrestler appears on less that 15% of the ballots, he is removed. The WON is the only major Hall of Fame that anyone takes seriously.

Here are my picks:

My back will only hold out so much longer...

Shawn Michaels- He changed the way people looked at main eventers and champions. Incorporating Lucha moves into the top of the card made it possible for a new generation to come up. Rob Van Dam, The Hardys, and Chris Benoit owe all of their top of card pushes over the years to the fact that Michaels changed fans' attitudes about wrestling.

He is the most controversial person on the ballot because the old timers see him as a guy who was unprofessional over the years, and I agree, but he was more professional than Bruiser Brody, or Akira Maeda, and both are in. His recent run may help him gain entry.

Bob Backlund- A big draw in MSG. A long reign with the WWWF belt, some classic matches, and a good run later in his career with Bret Hart. I'd say that's enough to get him in.

Paul Heyman- He started ECW and brought the style that Eddie Gilbert had been doing for years to the national spotlight. He booked the WWE during a hot run. Not a huge moneymaker, save for his WWE run, but still, someone that influential needs to be in.

Eddie Gilbert- OK, I don't know if he's on the ballot, but dammit, if they don't put him in, they are denying the fact that he was everything Paul Heyman did, but years earlier. He should be in, no question, but as a booker and not a wrestler.

Chris Benoit- I'm more voting for him as a way to keep him on the ballot than to get him in. He'll make it in someday, but not yet. He'll get a run with a belt and that'll settle all the questions. A top five wrestler worldwide for the better part of a decade, and the best in the world for a while.

The Fabulous Freebirds- Yep, you gotta have the greatest six-man team of all-time in the Hall. They were great, had amazing matches, were ½ of one of the greatest feuds ever, and they were in the first, and so far only good, Highlander film. Michaels Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy all deserve to be in, though the fact that there were other versions later hurts their chances.

The Midnight Express- The most innovative Tag Team of All Time. Some great matches with everyone from the Rock 'n Roll Express, the Fantastics, and even the Road Warriors. I would say that Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane are the best combo, but there were many versions and they all were great. And with Jim Cornette, you can't go wrong

That's all for today. More next week, and an interview with the folks from From Parts Unknown.

Chris Garcia