Falls Count Anywhere

05-16-03

Will rant for food.

Welcome to a brief Falls Count Anywhere. My name is Chris, and I've already seen it twice.

SmackDown!
Due to a few problems, I only got to review SmackDown on video. Here's the business. Not a great show, but I have to say I thought some of the stuff was classic.

First of all, I loved the intro of Tenacious Z, or whatever they are gonna call the one-legged wonder. It wasn't the best ever, but it certainly was memorable and a nice touch to add to the festivities for Judgment Day. I had word that something wild was gonna happen, but this topped my expectation.

The other good stuff, the Tajiri vs. Matt Hardy Cruiser title match, was solid. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Probably the best Cruiserweight match in a month or so. The Cena vs. Benoit match was really good and the only long match on the show. The Bikini stuff satisfied, and Shelton vs. Eddy was fun too.

The Bad is easy. The Elizabeth piece wasn't bad, but obviously showing Luger in the worst light possible. Vince's vendettas know no bounds.

The Rikishi match sucked, as expected, though a fair amount of the Vince and FBI stuff was passable. Everything that Steph did annoyed me. But really, the worst thing was the fact that there were only 4 matches in two hours. WHY CAN'T THERE BE WRESTLING ON A WRESTLING SHOW?

Part one of a two-part pander...

All in all, I was a little less than thrilled. Wrestling is better than RAW, backstage stuff is worse, and the Piper's Pit stuff was really good.

News
Good news for The Backyard. The fine documentary about backyard wrestling has gotten picked up and will get theatrical release in LA and New York, with a possibility for a wider release. Then it's off to DVD. Good stuff, and you should see it if you get the chance.

No word on Chavo's injury, except it's a tear of the bicep and he'll be out for several months. It's gonna take surgery, and that's bad. Chavo isn't a spring chicken, but he has plenty of time to get healed, work it into shape and have another long run.

I Need Answers!!!
OK, I got a bunch of things I need answers to. Here are ten that I need to know.

...and the conclusion.

10) Why is there no woman's belt on Raw? Not that I am asking for more of Torrie and Sable in the ring, but still, it would be nice to know why.

9) What has Piper been eating? I mean, it took me years to acquire my gut, and it seems like Piper has been given his in the ten months since I last saw him.

8) Why are RAW writers constantly going back to Austin vs. McMahon in one form or another?

7) Why hasn't Goldberg been given a match on Judgment Day?

6) What role is Heyman playing in the new booking world? His style hasn't peered its head in recent editions, so was his "reassignment" really a defacto firing?

5) Why, after giving the lecture about making matches more ground-based, have they booked a ladder match for the Pay per view?

4) When will we ever see Jackie Gayda on the big screen? I mean, she's not good, but she's freaking hot!

3) With Chavo's injury, does this mean the return of Latino Heat?

2) How's Edge?

1) When are they going to hear my cries and give me 50:00 of wrestling on a two hour wrestling program?

OK, that's the short Falls Count Anywhere. I'll be back Monday with a Judgment Day review, and Tuesday for more typical Falls fun.

Chris Garcia