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Falls
Count Anywhere
03-31-03
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Still
savoring the taste of human flesh from last night.
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Welcome
to a very special Falls Count Anywhere WrestleMania recap.
My name is Chris, and I swear, from now on, that I will spell
LESNAR right.
WrestleMania
XIX will go down in the top four or five Manias of all time.
Not as historically important as 1 or X, not as much of a
spectacle as III, and slightly lower on the overall match
level than last year, but really, it ranks as high in each
of those categories at the same time as any of the others.
The
Bad (Easier to start here since it's a shorter list)
A-Train and Big Show took on Undertaker in a match best described
as terrible. I was annoyed from beginning to end, though I
must admit, Nathan Jones gave a huge spin kick to Big Show
that they caught the perfect angle on. UT got his 11th win.
The Limp
Bizkit (or limpbizkit) bits were awful. Maybe it's just me,
but if I want angry youth rock, I'll saunter my ass over to
MTV's Spring Break coverage.
The Miller
Lite Catfight girls were awful, but HOTHOTHOT. I like the
raven-haired Goddess, while the others seem to appreciate
the blonde more. The catfighters just knocked each other with
pillows, while Torrie and Stacey tussled. I will say this
for the segment: as bad as it was, I'd still rather watch
it than another gimmick battle royal.
The
Good
Trish Stratus won the Woman's belt from Victoria in a match
that was really good for a woman's match, and that showed
the Trish, aside from being the first deposit in many a young
boy's spank bank, is capable in the ring. She really held
the match together.
HHH and
Booker T had a very good match, with both looking like stars
and having a match that was in the mold of NWA title challenges.
I think that Booker will get a run, as the feud doesn't appear
to be over yet, even though Booker took a clean loss.
The three-way
tag title match was good, but far from the level of the previous
three way tag feud. I think they need to get Shelton and Charlie
into a blood feud fast, just an all out, non-work rate feud
that'll let them learn a little more about how to play heels.
Good match, and Rhyno did look very good the whole way through.
Hogan
vs. McMahon had large drama, good heat, and terrible wrestling.
I will say that the camera work here was excellent, particularly
when Vince of Crimson Mask rose with an evil grin over the
edge of the ring apron. This almost went into the great section,
but Vince is not Rock and couldn't really carry Hulk, nor
vice-versa. When Piper ran out, I could feel that The Fantasticks
of wrestling feuds was reborn. Still, very enjoyable, well-booked,
and dramatic.
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Trivia
Contest Winner Peter Yom: "I also have The Rock
one of these."
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The
Great
Michaels and Jericho. The two had a match that was every bit
of what it needed to be, and then a whole lot more. Michaels
didn't look like Shawn Michaels 1997, but he did look really
good. Jericho busted his ass, made Michaels look even better,
and took the loss like a champ. Jericho might be the best
wrestler to program Michaels with, and at some point, they
need to do a passing of the torch match between these two.
Rock vs.
Austin. Wow. I have been impressed with Rocky for a long time,
and Austin worked like Austin 1999. This was a great match,
with tons of drama, great work, and an ending that no one
saw coming. Clean pin, in the middle for the Rock…what
up with dat? Isn't Rocky the rebuilder, the guy you go to
when you absolutely, positively gotta get the other guy over?
It was weird, but they really made Austin look good. Definitely
a great match.
The
Legendary
Brock Lesnar pinned Kurt Angle in a match that I will always
remember for so many reasons. Angle put on a performance every
bit as gutsy as Michaels at WrestleMania XIV, but showing
less of the injury effects. He put Brock through a match that
ebbed and flowed, moved with perfect fluidity. Brock held
up his end, especially when they were working on the ground.
I was most impressed with the bumps that Angle took, the confidence
that Brock showed, and the ability to improvise when the most
dangerous botched spot in the history of WrestleMania happened.
If you
saw it, you know that Brock narrowly missed paralysis when
he undershot on a Shooting Star Press and landed on his face.
He was shaken up, looked like he might have busted his nose,
but at least he rotated enough to keep from landing on his
head.
Still,
Angle made a smart move and covered Brock, since it looked
like it hurt and he should be able to get a cover out of a
botched offensive move. Brock recovered and immediately give
Angle a beautiful F5 for the win. I am hoping that we get
to see a rematch, and sooner than next WrestleMania (see news)
Special
News
Brock is OK. Sources indicate that he was shaken up, did bust
his nose, but that he's alright and won't miss much, if any,
time.
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Jordan
Rosa, contest winner Peter Yom, Derek McCaw, Chris Garcia,
Sarah Stanek, and Michael Goodson all try to look cool.
If you can't figure out which one is Sarah, you're automatically
disqualified from next year's contest...
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Angle
may be back in a lot less time than expected. Angle has spoken
with the doctor who did the surgery on Scott Hall a few years
back, and he said Kurt is a likely candidate for the surgery.
Kurt talked with Hall, who somehow, through all the slurring,
managed to tell Kurt that he was able to lift weights the
day after the procedure.
I think
he'll take it, as it would let him come back in less than
3 months, instead of the year out. I'll be watching this closely.
The
Party
Well, Fanboyplanet.com's inaugural contest winner Peter Yom
joined the cast of characters that normally inhabit the Compound
PPV viewings, plus Derek "The Patriarch" McCaw,
and other Fanboy Planet regulars. It was a blast: noisy, confusing,
and downright filthy at times, but a blast nonetheless. Fred
Steak flowed like the blood of the vanquished, and the commentary
ranged from the dark, to the darker, but I don't think anyone
had a bad time. I also retained my VCR WrestleMania Game title
by beating Jordan in a match that will not soon be forgotten.
All in
all: fantastic. I can't wait for next year when they go back
to Madison Square Garden, and who knows, maybe Piper vs. Hogan
will headline.
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