Falls Count Anywhere

03-11-03

Waiter...I'll have another giant poochscrew, please...

RAW!
It was the type of show I like, a strong builder to a finish that rocked my world without all the swerves they usually turn to. Even though I was still hung over from the Cinequest after-party, I still got happy the whole way through.

Not that everything was sunshine and lollypops, either. I was very disappointed in the Hardy vs. Rico match, except for the great neckbreaker variant where Rico pulled Hardy back over his knees.

I didn't love the RVD/Kane vs. Jericho and Christian match either, as RVD seemed to stumble through it, and Jericho was off a step, but the crowd liked it and they managed their signature spots.

The "Booker T is one of THOSE people" angle isn't good either, but Flair did a hell of an interview. And the technical problems sucked too. The Wet-T shirt contest was stupid. So, that's a whole lot of bad, right? How could I like this show?

Must...use...Hurri-Samoan Repellent Spray...

Rock does the job for Hurricane. That's right, the man who has the WWE audience on a string gives the Hurricane a huge win in a really good match. The crowd was into it, too, especially when Hurricane hit the choke slam on Rock, a man much larger than himself, and got the two-count. HURRIMANIA is running wild!!!

True, Stone Cold came out for the distraction, allowing for the hurripin, but the whole thing came off so well, it felt like he won straight up. The interaction between the two of them backstage was great, too.

The entire show built to the feuds that need to be made for WrestleMania to work. I have been a big fan of the stuff they have done with the Dudleys and Morley, Rock and Austin, and even the women's division. I think Mania will be good, even if the greatest wrestler of all time, Kurt Angle, will be off the show.

All in all, it paved the way to Mania with a great story and a good match. Even the missteps made along the way told stories that helped Mania. I'm excited to see where it all goes.

News
Angle's injury seems to be serious enough that he will require the Youngblood Neck Fix, probably in the next couple of weeks. That will keep him out for about a year, which is a huge blow to the WWE, as he is the glue that has held SmackDown! together on so many occasions.

With Angle out, Benoit will likely play a larger role in the main storylines, and we may see Eddy come into more singles matches. I'd expect a trade or a shift from RAW as well.

No word on Goldberg, except that he has been close, and then cold on the deal.

Some pics you've just got to run, regardless of their utter gratuitousness.

FlashBack!
This is a special Top Ten FlashBack!, as I will be choosing the top ten Worst WrestleMania moments.

10) Junkyard Dog vs. King Harley Race at WMIII. Yep, a WrestleMania 3 is represented on this list, as the match was the slowest thing you'd ever see. Race was way old here, and the Dog was slow, even for himself. I loved both of these guys in their prime, but this was far from the prime of either of them.

9) The Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley at WrestleMania XII. HHH stunk up the place for the first time in this ultra-quick match where he gave the pedigree to Warrior, who proved that he couldn't take it properly, and then got immediately pinned by the gorilla press and splash combo. Awful match that at less than 3 minutes managed to be boring and hurt HHH for a long time.

8) The gimmick battle royal at WrestleMania X8. OK, I know folks that will kick my ass for saying so, but it sucked. Yeah, they brought out the old-timers that everyone wanted to see, but as a match it sucked. Never, ever have a battle royal where one of the participants can't even make it over the ropes…even if you have him win.

7) Undertaker defeats Sid at WrestleMania the 13th. Bad match. UT had been on a roll in his classic series with Mankind, and this match followed Sid's best series that had been with Shawn Michaels. Both men moved slow, and I have never been able to watch it in one sitting.

6) Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd from WrestleMania 1. The bodyslam match that first exposed how bad Andre's condition and the years of punishment had affected him. Terrible, even if the crowd was incredibly into it.

5) Dusty Rhodes and Saphire against Randy Savage and Sensational Sherri from WrestleMania VI. Terrible, terrible, terrible, and I know folks who loved this match. I just didn't get it, and watching Saphire in the ring physically hurt me.

4) Kerry Von Erich over Dino Bravo at WrestleMania VII. A guy who was never very good against a guy who only had half a foot. I don't think it's as bad as many of Bravo's worst matches, but for WrestleMania, it was a pure disaster.

3) Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant at WrestleMania IV. At least the WM3 match had huge historical significance, where as this was just a giant poochscrew from the start. Andre is even less mobile, and Hogan worked at his low setting. Just bad.

2) Jake the Snake vs. George Welles at WrestleMania 2. These two had feuded in Mid-South a few years before, but Welles was a terrible worker, and Jake was on an off-night. Dull, and very close to the worst Mania match ever.

And Number 1…
Roddy Piper vs. Badnews Brown at WrestleMania VI. This is the famous half-blackface match that angered everybody and almost started a legit brawl between the participants. I would imagine that would have been far more entertaining than the match that went on, as I have sat through it only once, and will never try again.

Friday: SmackDown!, News, and a Falls Count Anywhere commentary on the rise of WrestleMania.

Chris Garcia