Falls Count Anywhere

02-21-03

I would fight Mike Tyson, but my temporary tattoo still hurts.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere, my name is Chris and I'm gellin' like a felon.

SmackDown!
SmackDown! was OK as a show, but fantastic as hype, with Rock, Brock, Angle, and Heyman all making the card for Sunday look hotter than hell. I was impressed with the out-of-ring antics more than with the matches, which is a typical RAW formula, but better done here.

The matches were average, with nothing stinking up the place, except maybe Rikishi vs. Johnny Stromboli. I liked the cruiserweight tag match between Kidman/Misterio and Mattitude featuring Shannon Moore. I really think that Matt will carry the cruiserweight title to some great matches, as well as bringing some much needed program heat to the belt.

Torrie took on Nidia in a match where Nidia looked as good as expected, but Torrie was better than usual. Funaki got a nice reaction coming out to make the save.

I can't say that I like A-Train, but put him in with Benoit and he looks good. The two had another nice little match where Benoit was able to get over the fact that he is pound for pound, the baddest man in the WWE.

The main event was fairly good from a storyline point of view, but lacked fire. Charlie Haas and Brock started to gel right at the end, but the match ended before it could get real good. Shelton looked great, but the match wasn't designed to get him over, so he sort of took a back seat to Lesner. The DQ ending sucked, but the scene of Heyman giving Angle the pep talk worked, and it added a level of impact to what could have been a hot match, but turned into a hot angle.

About to tick off Hogan by turning down a role in Mr. Nanny 2.

The talking was better this week than most weeks, particularly when Rock was on the mic. The Rock gave the best interview in WWE history to open the show, by going full heel but still managing to be cool at the same time. He was funny, inventive, perfectly-timed, and just his presence on the show gave SmackDown! star power it has been missing. His face to face with Hogan was just as good, if not better, as it made him look like a primadonna, which is a great role for the Rock.

The Undertaker getting the puppy was fairly decent, and it was a beautiful dog, too. The beatdown that Big Show delivered makes me even more worried about the match at No Way Out. The Angle backstage vignettes with Team Angle were great, too. Nathan Jones was only decent, but given some time and a few in-ring squashes and he'll be fine.

Let me say that every other reviewer on the net is wrong: the Los Guerreros bit was brilliant, hilarious and perfectly done. Eddy (Guerrero is my favorite wrestler) is always funny, but Chavo came off great here. The graphics were awesome too. These skits could help launch these two even higher. Chavo and Eddy are both about the same age, both relatively healthy, and ready for a big Tag Team Title run. The WWE has let their tag team division go downhill, and if these two are pushed for a long reign, I really think they could bring the title back to prominence.

All in all, it did its purpose, and has me itchin' to see No Way Out.

News
Bad news for Edgeheads. The man you think you know is likely going to be out of action for a year. The plan as of now is to have the same surgery that Chris Benoit, Steve Austin, and Lita have all had done on their necks. Dr. Lloyd Youngblood, a man who has worked on all the best wrestlers over the years, will be performing the operation.

This is not a good sign, as Edge was close to getting the big push to the top. If he can come back at anywhere near the level he has been at, he'll quickly regain his spot. Paul Heyman seems to be pushing for the returning Rhyno to take Edge's spot in upcoming programs, and perhaps even on Sunday at the pay-per-view.

In other WWE news, Test is certainly in the negative view of those in power as he has been pulled from the No Way Out card. It's rare that a match will be built to with a fair amount of TV time and then completely dropped like this, and I can't really think of an example that wasn't due to injury. Jeff Hardy replaces Test in the match on Sunday, which will likely help build to the Jericho/Michaels match at Mania.

FlashBack!
What is America's greatest natural resource? That's right, Celebrities!

Vince McMahon understands this better than any human on Earth, and in 1998, needed some way to make Stone Cold Steve Austin into a mainstream star. His solution: go back to the old playbook, but this time do it right. Vince brought in a celebrity with as high a profile as possible. That celebrity was Mike Tyson, and the results are rippling through to today.

Austin had been on a hot streak since WrestleMania 13, when he lost to Bret Hart but was made to look like the biggest badass in the history of the world. He had gone as far as a wrestler could go without breaking through to the higher profile world that Hogan had inhabited.

Vince had been burned by the Mr. T angle continuing too long, so he knew he had to keep it nice and short. Iron Mike was perfect for that, because too long a proposition and Mike would certainly find himself in trouble of some sort. The agreement was to appear a few times over three months for the WWF, and that would be that.

Tyson showed up at the San Jose Arena for the Royal Rumble. The announce team acknowledged him on the PPV, but Mike did not get directly involved. A quick interview, a few waves and a chant went out to him, and that was it. The next night, in Fresno, the angle began in full.

The end of RAW had the in-ring introduction of Tyson, and the announcement that he would referee the Austin vs. Shawn Michaels match at WrestleMania in Boston. After Vince had done the intro, Stone Cold hit the ring, and jawed at Tyson, who then pushed Stone Cold, leading to a seemingly out of control scene in the ring.

The huge heat this got from the crowd and from the media led to a solid week of highlights airing on ESPN and on major news. Austin got a little press too, which was his first widespread exposure outside of wrestling.

A couple of weeks later, Degeneration X, at that time Michaels, HHH, and Chyna, came out when Tyson was being interviewed, and looked like they were gonna kick him around. But then they tore off his shirt to reveal a DX shirt, and the crew then did their crotch chops. It looked like Austin was doomed at Mania.

This received no attention.

Later, a rare WWF press conference was held in New York, with all sorts of press coverage. It focused on Austin and Tyson, but very little on Michaels. This set the stage for Mania, but there was a problem: Michaels' back was severely messed up, and he had to get a cortisone shot just a week or so before.

Mike Tyson relives a cherished prison memory...

The match itself, with Tyson as the biased ref outside the ring, was a solid match, with Shawn in obvious pain but continuing to put on one of the gutsiest performances of all time. The finish, with a bump of the inside ref, featured Tyson punching and fast counting Michaels, showing that he had double-crossed DX. He drank beers and celebrated with Austin after in the ring, all of which was covered around the world. Unlike the T debacle, Tyson never showed up again.

Austin, then the biggest thing in wrestling worldwide, became a major star, getting some dates on Nash Bridges and his t-shirt carried in malls everywhere. No one, not Hulk Hogan, not the New Kids on the Block, not even South Park sold as many t-shirts as Austin did in 1998-2000.

The Rock has become a star much bigger than Austin, due to the active push to get him into movies, but Rock had the path paved for him by Austin and his mainstream acceptance.

Tyson sent Austin to the heights, making him a mid-level national celebrity and the top wrestler, a position he arguably still holds. His pops took on legendary proportions following the Tyson period, and even when he seemed to be floundering, or when he would turn heel, he would always get the face reaction because of the rub given to at WrestleMania 14.

The rumored 5 million the WWF paid Tyson turned into more than $100,000,000.00 in gate receipts, merchandise, and appearance fees for Austin. I'd say that was the best money Vince ever spent.

That's Falls Count Anywhere for this week. Next week, RAW, News, and a look at some of the early Wrestling Action Figures, or why REMCO was so much smarter than LJN.

Chris Garcia