Falls Count Anywhere

02-14-03

I miss Michael Goodson too.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere. My name is Chris and I am going to gorge myself on candy hearts.

SmackDown!
I really enjoyed SmackDown! this week, as the matches were good, and the out of ring stuff advanced storylines. It all made No Way Out seem like an important PPV, and helped to make WrestleMania look special.

The matches were very nice, but for the most part a little too short. Charlie Haas vs. Edge was a solid bout, as Haas is coming along. Edge is ready to carry the belt. Haas hit a sweet looking Exploder Suplex that I hope becomes a regular move.

Nunzio and Rikishi never happened, as Stromboli (MMMMmmmm…Stromboli) and Polumbo came out and beat on 'kishi. Apparently, Nunzio knew it was Rikishi, and he broke his heart, as Nunzio gave him the kiss of death.

Storyline of the week is Matt Hardy trying to get his weight down to 220 so he can wrestle for the Cruiserweight title. He was wearing a rubber suit, so he gassed out five minutes into his match with Rey Misterio. Good little match.

Benoit and A-Train had a decent match. Of course, Benoit can make anyone look good, and this was no exception. The crossface is now the number 5 move on SmackDown!, behind only the F5, the Ankle Lock, the 619, and the Last Ride.

Eddy Guerrero (my favorite wrestler) and Shelton Benjamin had a match that was awesome, but somewhat edited. I've heard that it was only good when they taped it, but this was a very good match, with some very smart work from Benjamin to rise to the level of Eddy. The finish, a blocked superkick into a spinning leg whip for Benjamin, was sweet.

Torrie and Dawn Marie had a bra and panties match, before which The Hef spoke. Fairly OK. Cena vs. Brock wasn't bad. Both guys looked better than usual, which may be because they have worked together before.

The talking worked for me, too. The Undertaker gift of the week was Kanyon, who was never announced as such, and he got beat in a fun little segment. The Hogan/Rock recap would have been better on Confidential or Velocity, but it really got over the importance of the feud and built towards NWO. Angle and Stephanie continued their off-again, off-again love affair by almost kissing in the back when Brock interrupted. They announced the Benoit/Brock and Edge vs Team Angle match for No Way Out, which will blow the house down.

The post-match Brock vs. Angle stuff was real good, and with two solid months of build-up, it should be an amazingly hot match. I don't like the idea of the two of them wrestling on SmackDown! next week, but I have a feeling it will only be a ruse to help set-up the six man tag match.

All in all, a solid show that just lacked the one blow away match to move it into the spectacular bracket. The positioning of SmackDown! is just right to make the matches that they put up at Mania the top matches. Brock vs. Angle is the main event, guaranteed, as all the hype that they've been putting into these two will transform Brock into a superstar and Angle into a legend.

Even if they go with Vince vs. Hogan, Rock vs. Goldberg and Austin vs. HHH, there is no way any of them could approach the level of Brock vs. Angle. Another case of a feud done right, even when everything else seems to be on shaky ground.

News
Nothing too big. It's a done deal that the Torrie spread will happen, and should hit the stands right around the time of Mania. Also, Torrie will be on the Girls Gone Wild Spring Break Pay Per View, apparently with Test there too. She said she can really get wild, so I wouldn't be surprised to see her get all toplessed up.

While Sting is in talks, the Goldberg discussions seem to have hit a snag, as he wants to only do a few shots and the WWE is asking for 10 dates a month. It's looking like it won't happen, and the likely fallback for the Rock at Mania would be Austin, though HHH could happen, too. Goldberg is known for last minute deals.

B2, aka Bull Buchanan, has been let go officially. He had been around a long time, since at least 1997, though much of that time was on the sidelines. According to the Observer, D-Lo Brown, who has been around even longer the B2, was given notice as well. I always liked D-Lo, especially during his European Title run and days in the Nation of Domination.

Supposedly, the WWE was in talks with the Dude from Joe Millionaire, I assume Evan Marriott. He has trained in SoCal, but I am still kind of surprised that the WWE would think about using him. He announced this on Stern, and said they wanted to program him with Trish Stratus. I am glad it won't happen.

FlashBack!
Today I talk about a moment in time, a great moment that I will never forget. It was one of the things you never thought you'd see, like a 50-to-1 horse pulling into the lead at the Derby, or Rick Steiner selling. No, what I am talking about was a true miracle: the time the 1-2-3 Kid beat Razor Ramon.

You see, Sean Waltman had been something of a sensation since about 1990. He had appeared as the Lightning Kid in Global Championship Wrestling on ESPN, had held their Lightheavyweight Title, and feuded with current NWA-TNA star Jerry Lynn.

He had many great matches throughout his Native Minnesota, including a very famous NWA match with Sabu where he seriously injured his neck. Entering the WWF in 1993, he did a few jobs on the Superstars program.

Now RAW was still a rather new show in 1993, and Razor Ramon was still The Bad Guy, one of the most hated villains in the WWF. He had been breezing through challengers left and right, and on the night in question he came out and said that no wrestler in the building was worthy of a match with him. The L. Kid, who was not even announced, stood across the ring. Razor then said, "No way can this Kid beat me 1-2-3!"

Waltman had been on RAW a few times, and had used various names, like the Cannonball Kid and the Lightning Kid, but he had not won a match. Everyone thought this was going to be one of those matches that lasted a minute or two and saw very little offense from the jobber. Some happened, and some didn't.

The match that they had was pretty standard, nothing special, just Razor beating on the Kid for a couple of minutes, but he did get in a few moves. At the end, after being whipped into the corner, the Kid came off with a moonsault and got the pin.

The crowd went nuts. The Manhattan Center, where the early RAWs were held, seated about 2,000 people, but they made more noise than any other arena I have ever been witness to. They chanted "Loser! Loser!" to Razor as he threw a tantrum in the ring.

What's most important here is that they had done surprising television, and in the process, had made a new star. They did rematches in which The 1-2-3 Kid got more offense, and even had him pinned a couple of times, but they continued to use him as a star. Even when they had him job to IRS at Summerslam, he looked like a star. Scott Hall did the right thing that night creating the 1-2-3 Kid.

Nowadays, this could never happen. There are no more real squashes on the big shows, something that is probably a good thing, but it limits your options.

Every time a new comer is given a big win, he is immediately pushed down by others, kept from being taken seriously in an effort to keep the egos happy. Even when Scott Hall did a similar angle in WCW, where he was pinned by various luchadores, it was made out to be a joke, and the guys were never taken seriously again.

Perhaps this is the single reason why WWE can't seem to get things back on track: the egos of the performers are taking precedent over the product, and bad television is the outcome. Still, on that night in 1993, Scott Hall made Sean Waltman a star.

That previous sentence may be the last good thing I ever say about Scott Hall in this column.

OK, that's Falls Count Anywhere for this Friday. Next Week, more of the same, with a FlashBack! that will tell you why celebrities shouldn't be involved in wrestling.

Chris Garcia