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Falls
Count Anywhere
01-17-03
Welcome
to Falls Count Anywhere, My name is Chris, and Al Wilson is
Dead! Long live Al Wilson!!!
RAW
This week, RAW did many things right, in that they built to
the Royal Rumble very well, but I was little entertained.
They got interest in the matches from the RAW side, specifically
the Regal/Storm vs. The Dudleys and Steiner vs. HHH, but failed
to have the great matches or strong angles that are the reasons
I watch wrestling.
The things
that went right were all non-wrestling things: The promos
for Sean O'Haire (am I the only one who thinks this is a weird
spelling?) and Nathan Jones are good, building interest and
giving them a solid character from the get-go. The McMahon
and Eric Bischoff portion of the McMahon segment worked, and
the Booker T match was OK.
The things
they did as plugs worked too: having Mean Gene step out of
the Limo and drop a 'You Killed Nitro' on the Bisch, having
the Lawler-Regal match to plug Lawler's book was a short piece
(and featured the return of the Old School Chained Fist finish),
and the stuff done to get the Dudleys Match over with the
fans. Steiner vs. HHH was bad, as the crowd seemed to deflate,
and the main event was OK, especially with the HBK/Jericho
thing going down.
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Really,
this is nothing more than pandering.
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The bad
came in the form of matches. The Jacky/Trish/Victoria Three-way
(Man, I wish those words were not describing a wrestling match)
didn't work, as Victoria seemed to hurt her leg and they missed
spots. Jeff Hardy needs to retire/rehab, as he missed almost
everything in his win over Raven. Jeff could have been huge
had he not broken down. The Bench Press Contest was a lame
idea, and probably best that it didn't go off as planned.
Hurricane vs. Steven Richards was far too short to do anything.
Add to all of this a truly dead crowd that was almost silent
for a few of the matches, and you have a very weak RAW.
RAW
X: The Tenth Anniversary Special
Well,
the special was not at all special, really just another version
of the Slammy Awards. The big problem was that they didn't
get anyone to set it apart. Classy Freddy Blassie was there,
looking ancient, as were Mean Gene and Pat Patterson, but
they could have tried real hard to get Bret, Mick Foley, Sable,
built some bridges to get Austin, though the McMahon line
about not inviting him was a solid cover and could lead to
Austin's first return feud.
What I
did like was some of the packages, what the WWE has been doing
well recently. The Bad Ideas one, featuring TL Hopper, The
Goon, Salvatore Sincere, Waylon Mercy, and a bunch of other
failed gimmicks, was funny. The intro for most of the awards
were good, especially the Divas and Superstar of the Decade.
They also let Edge have the final spot, and being the closer
is a nice sign that maybe, just maybe, they'll smarten up
and give him the big run.
The biggest
problem was The Rock, and the reaction he got started with
mild distaste and then faded to absolute boredom. His catch
phrases weren't even over. He needs to come back, do the heel
thing, and stay back for a year or so to get back his heat.
Maybe it's just a New York thing (God I hate NYC!), but it's
looking like he is no longer the savior the WWE is looking
for.
All in
all, lame, and they could have done so much more with it.
SmackDown!
It was another good little show that got ran aground with
the Dawn Marie: the Skankiest Widow segments. Sunday had better
mark the end of this feud, or I will be most unhappy. Though
I must admit, the little donnybrook the two of them had at
the end was kinda cool.
The best
things had to be the interviews talking about the Rumble.
Edge did a solid segment, as did Rikishi. The Guerreros arguing
made for a great promo, but Tajiri, with his rapid fire Japanese
and his over-the-top facials and gestures, made for a brilliant
interview. The "In the Wrestler's Studio" segment
with Chris Benoit was OK, but they should have been doing
these all along to catch Chris up with the fans. They really
need to bring back an interview show like Piper's Pit or The
Flower Shop (points to anyone who remembers that).
The matches
ranged from better than they had to be (Rikishi vs. Bill DeMott),
to far too short but serving its purpose (Brock/Rey vs. Big
Show/Albert), to great (Team Angle vs. Edge/Benoit).
What I
thought would be the best match, the opener with Los Guerreros
vs. Cena/B2 turned out to be a very good match, but Eddie
seemed to be legit hurt, though he did a dive to the outside.
I'm watching this one carefully, as Eddie Guerrero is my favorite
wrestler. Nunzio vs. Tajiri was a very good, Japanese-style
submission fest. Matt Hardy vs. Funaki proved the WWE can
do a lot of things with its undercard players, if they just
put their minds to it.
In-Ring:
Good. Interviews: Very Good. Dawn Marie: HOT! Al Wilson's
Viewing: Sweet Jesus, never again. Overall: Solid.
FlashBack!
OK, so
I was going to do this really cool column called MustOwn!,
where I would recommend a video that is available on-line,
and that you should go out and buy. Now, this would be great
if a very bad thing hadn't happened: The WWF lost a lawsuit
and had to become the WWE and stop selling their old videos.
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See? Pandas
aren't cute. They're vicious bastards.
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Yep, 25
great years of wrestling was pulled from the market because
some folks want to protect pandas (an animal that is, by nature,
finger Ling-Ling Good). So I have to scrap the idea. Instead,
I thought about my favorite RAW match, and the best match
I ever saw live.
May 21st,
2001: RAW is in town at the Arena and we got tix. We got there
early and hung around as the wrestlers entered the arena,
a tradition that allows us savvy internet types to mingle
with the severely unwashed masses.
Well,
after a couple of hours the show was pretty lackluster, save
for a great ceremony for Kurt Angle. The main event came around,
Steve Austin and HHH were taking on Chris Benoit and Chris
Jericho. The word going around was that the Chris' time had
come and they were on the verge of Championship level pushes.
The match
looked to be the start of it all, and it went very well. HHH
could really work at this point, and Benoit and Jericho have
always been solid. Austin knows how to get the most out of
any match, and this was no exception. This was a back and
forth match, with the tide turning back and forth. Austin
would stomp Benoit in the corner, only to have Benoit come
back and chop the hell out of HHH. Jericho hits the Lionsault,
HHH hits the Pedigree, Austin nails a stunner, Benoit connects
with Diving Headbutt, but people keep kicking out.
The crowd
was into it, the match was great until HHH brings a sledgehammer
in and accidentally hits Austin, allowing Benoit to get the
pin.
This was
a historic match. Jericho and Benoit had been elevated with
the big win, and it was voted the US match of the year. Things
seemed to be going great for Benoit and Jericho, but then
things fell apart, due to timing, bad planning, and plain
bad luck.
In the
match, HHH had hurt his thigh, so badly that he had to be
helped from the ring. He had torn his quadriceps, so badly
that his career was thought by many to be over. He wouldn't
wrestle again in 2001, and came back with much less in-ring
ability.
Jericho
and Benoit then went on to have a huge ladder match on SmackDown!
that week, a ladder match that many say is the best ever to
happen on SmackDown!. But with HHH hurt, there was no way
for a HHH/Benoit feud that would have put Chris at the top.
Benoit was then fed to Austin, losing just a week later. Jericho
was given to Austin the following week, again losing. They
had raised the men up, only to knock them down. Some say that
Austin didn't want to have to lose to the "vanilla midgets",
as Big Daddy Cool used to refer to them, but others say the
blame goes to Vince for not letting Paul Heyman do the storylines
he wanted to.
The match
was amazing, the follow-up, terrible, and it forever relegated
Jericho and Benoit to the middle of the deck.
That's
Falls Count Anywhere for this week, come by next week for
News, Views, and a Flashback! to wrestling the Memphis way.
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