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Chair Shots
12-3-02
Raw Thoughts
Rather than rally the troops over the 4 day weekend and
put a lot of good effort into writing Raw, everyone was
still sleeping off the turkey blues last night. What resulted
was a boring show that looked downright sad compared to
the 10th Anniversary highlights from other editions. Much
like our gluttonous holiday, Raw was little more than bloated
leftovers.
Every week we
are forced to stomach an unexciting women's match. Last
night the WWE force-fed us two. While Victoria does get
the heat rub by being in the ring with Scott Steiner, how
does losing a match to Jackie help her? Jackie is barely
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The old fingers
up the nose trick.
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the champ (non-title match). I wish I cared enough to explain
the flaw in the logic of this booking.
Heels gain heat
by ganging up and beating down the baby faces. Why were
the Dudleys laid out off-camera by Jericho, Christian and
Three Minute Warning? Maybe they were sparing us the same
old tired booking. That would be nice for a change, assuming
they put something in that time slot that was interesting.
I have come
to the realization, and shame on me for not noticing it
earlier, that Rosie and Jamal of Three Minute Warning cannot
wrestle. They do have a marketable look and can execute
some big power moves, but their matches just have too many
lulls in the action while they stumble their way through.
Bookers need to make sure they are matched up with the right
opponents, and the Dudley Boys are not them.
Two weeks in
a row Chief Morley has stopped a match involving Chris Jericho
because of rule infraction or interference and both times
the tag champs have won by using the belts to cheat. I pray
that this is intentional by the bookers and not just an
unfortunate oversight.
I have a new
idea for Tough Enough 4. Move Booker T, Chris Jericho and
RVD to Smackdown. Then fire the rest of the Raw roster and
make them be contestants for TE4. Only the four best wrestlers
will be given WWE contracts. Think of how exciting it would
be to watch Goldust and Test sharing a room together while
fighting for a contract. Hell, make it a 2 hour show and
replace Raw with it. Watching William Regal and Lance Storm
fight for contracts has got to be more entertaining than
watching them wrestle.
Eric Bischoff's
character has one goal in mind and that is to create the
best wrestling television on the air. Yet week after week
matches are just thrown together for no reason. Bischoff
could be the driving force behind sweeping changes on Raw.
Think about what matches you would make if you wanted to
have the fans like you and the ratings soar.
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Speaking of selling
sex...
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sells, so there would be a whole lot more lingerie matches
and what not. Gimmick matches like ladder and cages would
be commonplace on Raw. Each match would have something at
stake besides a win, because those are meaningless. For
example: matches to earn title shots, have wrestlers fight
for cash rewards, the winner of the next match gets to pick
his next opponent (good for building feuds).
Every match
needs to have something behind it that makes fans care about
seeing it and Bischoff needs to use his power to make that
happen. Why should I care about Batista vs. Hurricane? What
if Hurricane's mask were at stake, or Batista had to wear
tights and a cape and call himself Batista Boy for a week
if Hurricane won? I'd care then! That's the kind of thing
Bischoff needs to be drumming up. Or rather, his character
does.
Even if something
isn't at stake in the match, at least let the wrestlers
wrestle. Batista vs. Hurricane went 3:26 last night. Their
combined ring entrances are almost 3 minutes. Batista has
a good look, but no one is sure if he can really wrestle
because he does nothing more than a power bomb and then
the match is over.
Lex Bails
Lex Luger no showed for a London tour for WWA recently.
He came down with bronchitis. I doubt that anyone cares,
but on slow news days, it's easy to just pick on Lugar.
Ha! Bronchitis! You no talent sissy!
Raw Rumors
Rumor has it that the WWE is asking just about every performer
who has ever appeared on RAW to make a special appearance
on the upcoming Raw 10th Anniversary show that will air
in January. Half of them left on bad terms so it will be
interesting to see who shows up.
The
latest word on Steve Austin is that he continues to have
talks with WWE regarding a return, but does not want to
return to the Raw brand. Austin cited poor storylines as
the reason he left and storylines are horrible on Raw. Smackdown
would be top heavy with talent however if Austin joined.
Maybe it's time to call the brand extension a failure and
merge everyone back together for the sake of quality.
Rahter
than ramble on today, I'll just keep this short and sweet.
Join me again on Friday.
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