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Wrestling Today's Date:

No talent sissy.
Chair Shots

12-3-02

Raw Thoughts
Rather than rally the troops over the 4 day weekend and put a lot of good effort into writing Raw, everyone was still sleeping off the turkey blues last night. What resulted was a boring show that looked downright sad compared to the 10th Anniversary highlights from other editions. Much like our gluttonous holiday, Raw was little more than bloated leftovers.

Every week we are forced to stomach an unexciting women's match. Last night the WWE force-fed us two. While Victoria does get the heat rub by being in the ring with Scott Steiner, how does losing a match to Jackie help her? Jackie is barely
The old fingers up the nose trick.
on TV anymore and she just walks into her hometown and pins the champ (non-title match). I wish I cared enough to explain the flaw in the logic of this booking.

Heels gain heat by ganging up and beating down the baby faces. Why were the Dudleys laid out off-camera by Jericho, Christian and Three Minute Warning? Maybe they were sparing us the same old tired booking. That would be nice for a change, assuming they put something in that time slot that was interesting.

I have come to the realization, and shame on me for not noticing it earlier, that Rosie and Jamal of Three Minute Warning cannot wrestle. They do have a marketable look and can execute some big power moves, but their matches just have too many lulls in the action while they stumble their way through. Bookers need to make sure they are matched up with the right opponents, and the Dudley Boys are not them.

Two weeks in a row Chief Morley has stopped a match involving Chris Jericho because of rule infraction or interference and both times the tag champs have won by using the belts to cheat. I pray that this is intentional by the bookers and not just an unfortunate oversight.

I have a new idea for Tough Enough 4. Move Booker T, Chris Jericho and RVD to Smackdown. Then fire the rest of the Raw roster and make them be contestants for TE4. Only the four best wrestlers will be given WWE contracts. Think of how exciting it would be to watch Goldust and Test sharing a room together while fighting for a contract. Hell, make it a 2 hour show and replace Raw with it. Watching William Regal and Lance Storm fight for contracts has got to be more entertaining than watching them wrestle.

Eric Bischoff's character has one goal in mind and that is to create the best wrestling television on the air. Yet week after week matches are just thrown together for no reason. Bischoff could be the driving force behind sweeping changes on Raw. Think about what matches you would make if you wanted to have the fans like you and the ratings soar.
Speaking of selling sex...

Obviously sex sells, so there would be a whole lot more lingerie matches and what not. Gimmick matches like ladder and cages would be commonplace on Raw. Each match would have something at stake besides a win, because those are meaningless. For example: matches to earn title shots, have wrestlers fight for cash rewards, the winner of the next match gets to pick his next opponent (good for building feuds).

Every match needs to have something behind it that makes fans care about seeing it and Bischoff needs to use his power to make that happen. Why should I care about Batista vs. Hurricane? What if Hurricane's mask were at stake, or Batista had to wear tights and a cape and call himself Batista Boy for a week if Hurricane won? I'd care then! That's the kind of thing Bischoff needs to be drumming up. Or rather, his character does.

Even if something isn't at stake in the match, at least let the wrestlers wrestle. Batista vs. Hurricane went 3:26 last night. Their combined ring entrances are almost 3 minutes. Batista has a good look, but no one is sure if he can really wrestle because he does nothing more than a power bomb and then the match is over.

Lex Bails
Lex Luger no showed for a London tour for WWA recently. He came down with bronchitis. I doubt that anyone cares, but on slow news days, it's easy to just pick on Lugar. Ha! Bronchitis! You no talent sissy!

Raw Rumors
Rumor has it that the WWE is asking just about every performer who has ever appeared on RAW to make a special appearance on the upcoming Raw 10th Anniversary show that will air in January. Half of them left on bad terms so it will be interesting to see who shows up.

The latest word on Steve Austin is that he continues to have talks with WWE regarding a return, but does not want to return to the Raw brand. Austin cited poor storylines as the reason he left and storylines are horrible on Raw. Smackdown would be top heavy with talent however if Austin joined. Maybe it's time to call the brand extension a failure and merge everyone back together for the sake of quality.

Rahter than ramble on today, I'll just keep this short and sweet. Join me again on Friday.

Michael Goodson

 

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