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Wrestling Today's Date:

Know your role, woman.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to say that when you're hiding in this tiny grey box.
Chair Shots

11-26-02

Raw Thoughts
From the beginning, hyping a dream match (dream match in 1997, maybe) between Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels was a publicity stunt. Could Shawn's first free TV match in five years get fan interest back to Raw? Could a world title shot bring back the cynics that said WWE isn't pushing new stars?

The answer to both is no. Raw's rating dropped to 3.4 from last week's 3.7 and the finish to the main event last night proved it's the same old song over on Raw.

Triple H made the run-in, ending what was otherwise a disappointing match to begin with. Both Shawn and RVD lacked any real fire in the poorly paced matchup. RVD at least had the excuse of just returning from India the day before, but Shawn just looked like he was going through the motions. Even my wife, who was a huge Shawn Michaels fan, noted that he should have stayed retired. I guess the Jesus 3:20 tee shirt isn't the chick magnet it used to be.

After a week's hiatus, Triple H came back, proving that not even an injury will keep him from hogging the spotlight. As much as I rag on the Big Show for being a lame duck champion, at least he has Paul Heyman at his side to cut some clever promos. Triple H has just lost the ability to connect with the fans but still manages to use his pull in the company to maintain a top spot.

Big Show will be back on Sunday night Heat within two months, but Triple H is forever.

The running skits with the Dudleys stealing Jericho and Christian's clothes was as funny as "Dude, Where's My Car?" I am hoping that Spike Dudley dies next week and D-Von and Bubba have to carry him around for the whole show pretending that he's still alive.

I'd like to point out that Sean "Val Venis" Morley doesn't know the first thing about tag team wrestling rules, based on the decisions he made last night as the newly crowned "Chief of Staff."

First, in the event of a tie, the win goes to the champions because the burden of winning the match is on the challengers. Second, While D-Von's shoulders were on the mat, Jericho was not "pinning" him. Third, Jericho and Christian still cheated to win in the end without Morley restarting the match again.

Maybe he was as bored with it as I was by then. Call him General Manager, Commissioner or Chief of Staff, the result is the same. Morley isn't going to get over with this gimmick and Eric Bischoff will lose heat because of it.

French kissing Stacy Kiebler on live TV is enough to get ME over with all the people I went to high school with, but is not enough to get Test over with the fans. He has a new look, a new manager and a new catchphrase, but lacks a serious feud to catch fan interest. It always comes back to booking and that is Raw's greatest weakness.

Austin Gets Probation
Steve Austin a plea bargain agreement yesterday for his charge of domestic violence. He was then sentenced to 1 year of probation, a $4000 fine and 80 hours of community service. He must also attend a family violence counseling course. As part of his probation, he is prohibited from drinking alcohol, must not behave aggressively toward his wife and must ask the court for permission to leave Bexar County. I bet that sucks. Damn woman can lip off whenever she feels like and he can't do a thing about it.

When asked about a possible return to the ring, Austin said, "I'd be willing to talk about it, but I won't say I absolutely will, no doubt, make a return. I'm in good shape. I haven't been getting beat up, hardly. And I've been training every day. That's pretty much all I do."

Both Austin and the WWE recently said that they have been in talks about a possible return. The WWE is in a position where they need Austin and would certainly be willing to forget about the bad blood Austin generated between them.

X-Pac Troubles
Stop the wedding! As reported last week, Joanie "Chyna" Laurer and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman are engaged to be married but there is one small hitch in that plan. Waltman is still married to his wife of 12 years. Sean says that he will marry Chyna as soon as his divorce is final, but they all say that.

NWA:TNA released the following statement today regarding Waltman. "Sean Waltman informed TNA Entertainment management today that he will not appear on the November 27 episode of NWA-TNA: Total Nonstop Action. Waltman had also failed to appear on the November 13 episode and called about an hour prior to showtime to say he had overslept and missed his flight (he'd been out the night before celebrating his engagement.)

Because of the previous problem with Waltman failing to appear on an NWA-TNA telecast, TNA Entertainment officials had lengthy conversations with Waltman prior to announcing on last week's telecast that he would be on the November 27 broadcast. Waltman repeatedly apologized for his unprofessional behavior the previous week and gave assurances that he would be in attendance for the November 27 show…There are no current plans to use Sean Waltman on future NWA-TNA: Total Nonstop Action broadcasts."

Just another example of what I like to call the "Clique Curse." Sean can't hold a job. Scott Hall can't stay sober or hold a job. Kevin Nash can't stay healthy. Shawn Michaels can't stay cool and Triple H can't help but suck.

Enjoy Cat for Thanksgiving
Tazz was given the night off from Smackdown tapings this evening for personal reasons. As of right now, Ernest 'The Cat" Miller is scheduled to take his spot for tonight. The former WCW star recently had a wrestling tryout with WWE but failed to land a contract. However, the WWE has been looking for commentators for the B shows for quite some time now. Ratings for Smackdown are expected to be low due to Thanksgiving, so the pressure is off.

Jim Ross
Jim Ross was a guest on an Oklahoma City radio show this week. Here are the highlights of the interview:

  • He was first asked about Steve Austin and J.R. said that they talk all the time. That's a big difference from a year ago when Austin walked out on the WWE and J.R. bashed him for it on WWE Confidential. He said there was a lot more to the story regarding Debra than the Media knows about. Noted that "If Austin did hit her, that's wrong" and that you couldn't excuse the incident by saying it was a one-time thing. He was pretty honest about his feelings on Debra, saying "she wanted to be the star of the family".
  • J.R. compared Debra to Lucille Ball on I Love Lucy, but that on that show Lucy was the star, while "Desi was just hanging around." In this scenario he noted that she was married to the biggest star in the company. "Just like the Rock says, sometimes you've got to 'Know your Role'". (I dare J.R. to say that in front of his wife.)
  • When asked whether or not Debra and Steve would be back, JR said that Austin would be, but sounded doubtful about Debra. J.R. is pretty confident Steve will be returning to WWE, and then said he thinks Austin will stick around for one more year after he comes back. Austin sees his career as "unfinished business".
  • Ross commented that he thought the engagement between X-Pac and Chyna was silly. He described them as two best friends and "it turned to love." What's silly about that J.R.? (I mean besides the fact that she towers over him and has a bigger penis.)
  • Ross talked about Triple H's backstage power and said it is unlikely that Chyna would ever come back to the WWE because "her ex-boyfriend is now dating the boss' daughter"
  • When asked about Hulk Hogan's problems with the company, J.R. confirmed what we've all kind of assumed. Hogan wanted to win a Survivor Series match with Brock Lesnar. One thing you won't read in Hulk's biography is that he always gets a win over a guy that has previously beaten him. No doubt the WWE was unwilling to let Lesnar lose to Hulk (this was pre-rib injury) and that's why Hulk isn't on TV now. Hogan "wanted to be a cowboy, instead of an Indian," said J.R. "Our Heavyweight Champions shouldn't have AARP cards."
  • Ross defended the WWE writers saying that they get slammed all over the internet (who me?) and "even if he wasn't working with them he'd be developing sympathy for them" because of how everyone blames WWE's poor ratings on them (but it's true!!)
  • Last, J.R. talked about Eric Bischoff. JR said he wasn't popular in the locker room "mainly because he screwed so many people over." Funny how things work out. "He screwed me royally, and now he's working for me."

    Ratings
    Last week's Smackdown scored a 3.5 broadcast rating. That is down from 3.6.for the previous week.

    Page and Saturn Downsized
    Diamond Dallas Page and Perry Saturn were officially cut from WWE contracts last week. Not a big deal for DDP who is retired, but it's disappointing to see Perry go. Saturn was never given a decent storyline to work with and spent most of his time off camera. This is a good time to plug what I feel is the best Book It I ever wrote which involved Perry. To this day I think time traveling Perry Saturn is a peach of an idea.

    Speaking of good ideas, I'm outta here. Catch you all on Friday.

    Michael Goodson

     

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