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Know
your role, woman.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to say that when you're hiding in this tiny grey box.
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Chair Shots
11-26-02
Raw
Thoughts
From the beginning, hyping a dream match (dream match in 1997,
maybe) between Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels was a publicity
stunt. Could Shawn's first free TV match in five years get
fan interest back to Raw? Could a world title shot bring back
the cynics that said WWE isn't pushing new stars?
The answer
to both is no. Raw's rating dropped to 3.4 from last week's
3.7 and the finish to the main event last night proved it's
the same old song over on Raw.
Triple
H made the run-in, ending what was otherwise a disappointing
match to begin with. Both Shawn and RVD lacked any real fire
in the poorly paced matchup. RVD at least had the excuse of
just returning from India the day before, but Shawn just looked
like he was going through the motions. Even my wife, who was
a huge Shawn Michaels fan, noted that he should have stayed
retired. I guess the Jesus 3:20 tee shirt isn't the chick
magnet it used to be.
After
a week's hiatus, Triple H came back, proving that not even
an injury will keep him from hogging the spotlight. As much
as I rag on the Big Show for being a lame duck champion, at
least he has Paul Heyman at his side to cut some clever promos.
Triple H has just lost the ability to connect with the fans
but still manages to use his pull in the company to maintain
a top spot.
Big Show
will be back on Sunday night Heat within two months, but Triple
H is forever.
The running
skits with the Dudleys stealing Jericho and Christian's clothes
was as funny as "Dude, Where's My Car?" I am hoping that Spike
Dudley dies next week and D-Von and Bubba have to carry him
around for the whole show pretending that he's still alive.
I'd like
to point out that Sean "Val Venis" Morley doesn't know the
first thing about tag team wrestling rules, based on the decisions
he made last night as the newly crowned "Chief of Staff."
First,
in the event of a tie, the win goes to the champions because
the burden of winning the match is on the challengers. Second,
While D-Von's shoulders were on the mat, Jericho was not "pinning"
him. Third, Jericho and Christian still cheated to win in
the end without Morley restarting the match again.
Maybe
he was as bored with it as I was by then. Call him General
Manager, Commissioner or Chief of Staff, the result is the
same. Morley isn't going to get over with this gimmick and
Eric Bischoff will lose heat because of it.
French
kissing Stacy Kiebler on live TV is enough to get ME over
with all the people I went to high school with, but is not
enough to get Test over with the fans. He has a new look,
a new manager and a new catchphrase, but lacks a serious feud
to catch fan interest. It always comes back to booking and
that is Raw's greatest weakness.
Austin
Gets Probation
Steve Austin a plea bargain agreement yesterday for his charge
of domestic violence. He was then sentenced to 1 year of probation,
a $4000 fine and 80 hours of community service. He must also
attend a family violence counseling course. As part of his
probation, he is prohibited from drinking alcohol, must not
behave aggressively toward his wife and must ask the court
for permission to leave Bexar County. I bet that sucks. Damn
woman can lip off whenever she feels like and he can't do
a thing about it.
When
asked about a possible return to the ring, Austin said, "I'd
be willing to talk about it, but I won't say I absolutely
will, no doubt, make a return. I'm in good shape. I haven't
been getting beat up, hardly. And I've been training every
day. That's pretty much all I do."
Both Austin
and the WWE recently said that they have been in talks about
a possible return. The WWE is in a position where they need
Austin and would certainly be willing to forget about the
bad blood Austin generated between them.
X-Pac
Troubles
Stop the wedding! As reported last week, Joanie "Chyna" Laurer
and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman are engaged to be married but there
is one small hitch in that plan. Waltman is still married
to his wife of 12 years. Sean says that he will marry Chyna
as soon as his divorce is final, but they all say that.
NWA:TNA
released the following statement today regarding Waltman.
"Sean Waltman informed TNA Entertainment management today
that he will not appear on the November 27 episode of NWA-TNA:
Total Nonstop Action. Waltman had also failed to appear on
the November 13 episode and called about an hour prior to
showtime to say he had overslept and missed his flight (he'd
been out the night before celebrating his engagement.)
Because
of the previous problem with Waltman failing to appear on
an NWA-TNA telecast, TNA Entertainment officials had lengthy
conversations with Waltman prior to announcing on last week's
telecast that he would be on the November 27 broadcast. Waltman
repeatedly apologized for his unprofessional behavior the
previous week and gave assurances that he would be in attendance
for the November 27 show…There are no current plans to use
Sean Waltman on future NWA-TNA: Total Nonstop Action broadcasts."
Just another
example of what I like to call the "Clique Curse." Sean can't
hold a job. Scott Hall can't stay sober or hold a job. Kevin
Nash can't stay healthy. Shawn Michaels can't stay cool and
Triple H can't help but suck.
Enjoy
Cat for Thanksgiving
Tazz was given the night off from Smackdown tapings this evening
for personal reasons. As of right now, Ernest 'The Cat" Miller
is scheduled to take his spot for tonight. The former WCW
star recently had a wrestling tryout with WWE but failed to
land a contract. However, the WWE has been looking for commentators
for the B shows for quite some time now. Ratings for Smackdown
are expected to be low due to Thanksgiving, so the pressure
is off.
Jim
Ross
Jim Ross was a guest on an Oklahoma City radio show this week.
Here are the highlights of the interview:
He was
first asked about Steve Austin and J.R. said that they talk
all the time. That's a big difference from a year ago when
Austin walked out on the WWE and J.R. bashed him for it on
WWE Confidential. He said there was a lot more to the story
regarding Debra than the Media knows about. Noted that "If
Austin did hit her, that's wrong" and that you couldn't excuse
the incident by saying it was a one-time thing. He was pretty
honest about his feelings on Debra, saying "she wanted to
be the star of the family".
J.R.
compared Debra to Lucille Ball on I Love Lucy, but
that on that show Lucy was the star, while "Desi was just
hanging around." In this scenario he noted that she was
married to the biggest star in the company. "Just like the
Rock says, sometimes you've got to 'Know your Role'". (I dare
J.R. to say that in front of his wife.)
When
asked whether or not Debra and Steve would be back, JR said
that Austin would be, but sounded doubtful about Debra. J.R.
is pretty confident Steve will be returning to WWE, and then
said he thinks Austin will stick around for one more year
after he comes back. Austin sees his career as "unfinished
business".
Ross
commented that he thought the engagement between X-Pac and
Chyna was silly. He described them as two best friends and
"it turned to love." What's silly about that J.R.? (I mean
besides the fact that she towers over him and has a bigger
penis.)
Ross
talked about Triple H's backstage power and said it is unlikely
that Chyna would ever come back to the WWE because "her ex-boyfriend
is now dating the boss' daughter"
When
asked about Hulk Hogan's problems with the company, J.R. confirmed
what we've all kind of assumed. Hogan wanted to win a Survivor
Series match with Brock Lesnar. One thing you won't read in
Hulk's biography is that he always gets a win over a guy that
has previously beaten him. No doubt the WWE was unwilling
to let Lesnar lose to Hulk (this was pre-rib injury) and that's
why Hulk isn't on TV now. Hogan "wanted to be a cowboy, instead
of an Indian," said J.R. "Our Heavyweight Champions shouldn't
have AARP cards."
Ross
defended the WWE writers saying that they get slammed all
over the internet (who me?) and "even if he wasn't working
with them he'd be developing sympathy for them" because of
how everyone blames WWE's poor ratings on them (but it's true!!)
Last,
J.R. talked about Eric Bischoff. JR said he wasn't popular
in the locker room "mainly because he screwed so many people
over." Funny how things work out. "He screwed me royally,
and now he's working for me."
Ratings
Last week's Smackdown scored a 3.5 broadcast rating. That
is down from 3.6.for the previous week.
Page
and Saturn Downsized
Diamond Dallas Page and Perry Saturn were officially cut
from WWE contracts last week. Not a big deal for DDP who
is retired, but it's disappointing to see Perry go. Saturn
was never given a decent storyline to work with and spent
most of his time off camera. This is a good time to plug
what I feel is the best Book It I ever wrote which involved
Perry. To this day I think time traveling Perry Saturn is
a peach of an idea.
Speaking
of good ideas, I'm outta here. Catch you all on Friday.
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